


Remember

by solebutnotasoldier (shaymin)



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Spoilers for the main game and Far Harbour ahead - yall were warned, They're both Oblivious™, Unfinished, i incorporated some shit that happened to me in game into this, i take your canon and substitute it with my own, lots of personal headcanons going into this so i apologise beforehand lol, multi-chapter, my SS is named Lauren Greene and she's not a lawyer cause that's lame, she's an engineer who graduated from CIT bc fight me bethesda, she's my character i do what i want, the rating's probably gonna go up in the future so... yeah :y
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-07
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-08-13 14:25:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 42,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7979962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shaymin/pseuds/solebutnotasoldier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Sole Survivor could be forgiven for being sketchy about her life before the bombs. She'd put it down to a shoddy memory brought on by the radiation that had no doubt seeped into her since she took those first fateful steps out into the great unknown - but what if it's something more sinister?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Sole Survivor

**Author's Note:**

> Hey hi welcome to the first chapter of my probably 25 chapter long fic, Remember. This is focusing on the relationship between Nick Valentine and my Sole Survivor, Lauren Greene. [This](http://i.imgur.com/xzjUq65.jpg) is her for the curious.
> 
> Rating subject to change, and it will change as the story progresses ^^
> 
> Anyway I hope you enjoy!

Ever since she had stepped out into the harsh and unforgiving world born from the remains of the place that she had known before, Lauren Greene had struggled to adjust, to survive, to make a new life for herself. She had amassed a ragtag group of people she could call friends, had built up settlements and helped to clean up when and where she could.

 

Nick knew more about her than most did. The two of them had spent an awful lot of time together since she had come barrelling into his life, rescuing him from Skinny Malone and his thugs with his favourite journalist by her side. She had been surprised by his appearance - most people who met him for the first time were repulsed in some manner - but she had quickly adjusted to it and treated him like she would treat anyone. She had walked with him to the ends of the Commonwealth to hunt down Eddie Winter’s tapes and had helped him put the bastard that had killed Jenny into the dirt.

 

The first thing about her that really stuck out about her was her accent. Where most people had the old Bostonian twang that carried on from the before the war, she lacked it. She didn’t just lack it, she plain blew it out of the water. There were those with different accents from the neighbouring regions like the Capital Wasteland or New Vegas, but none were quite like the girl from the Vault. She wasn’t even from this side of the planet - having travelled from her home in Great Britain (she would always get pissy if you just called it England) to study at CIT, and had stayed after getting married. It was selfish to think so, but Nick was glad that she had decided to remain in Boston after graduating. He didn’t know where’d he’d be without her.

 

Lauren Greene was an engineer., first and foremost. Her parents had wanted her to be a lawyer, but she liked to tinker. She liked to fix things, make things, tear things apart and put them back together again. She was young - early twenties at most - with long reddish hair tied in a loose bun, and deep brown eyes. She was the General of the Minutemen, the Professor of the Railroad, and to top it all off, the finest damn woman Nick had ever had the pleasure of meeting.

 

“Hey, Valentine,” Lauren said, pulling the synth out of his musings with her gentle voice. She waved her hand in front of his face and smiled in amusement as he blinked at her. “You okay in there?”

 

“Oh, yeah, yeah,” Nick replied, smiling fondly at her as she leant back on her heels. “Just thinking, is all.”

 

“Dangerous thing, that,” Lauren grinned as they walked along another crumbling road. She stretched out, her makeshift armour knocking together as she did. “So, you happen to remember what Preston asked us to do?” she asked. Nick snorted in amusement - her memory was terrible at the best of times.

 

“We’re off to help one of your settlements deal with some raiders,” he said, tapping his chin with his skeletal metal hand. “I believe Wiseman and the rest of the Slog’s residents are having some trouble with the Forged at the Saugus Ironworks.”

 

“Not the Forged again,” Lauren groaned, her head flopping loosely as she walked. Their last encounter with the fire-worshipping madmen hadn’t exactly ended well - Nick recalled at Lauren’s hair had been singed to the point she shaved it all off. For weeks afterwards, she wore a tight knit cap on her bald head until the first fuzz of new growth appeared. She’d been lucky to get away with just lost hair. “I think this time we may have to go in and deal with all of them proper.”

 

“How do you want to go about it?” Nick asked. Lauren tapped her chin and furrowed her brows. 

 

“We’ll have to go in quiet,” she pulled her favoured gun - the one Deacon had given her when they had retaken the Switchboard from the Institute - and secured the suppressor on it. “If all goes well… we’ll have dispatched the bastards before they know we’re there, but if push comes to shove…” she shuddered briefly, pushing her glasses up her nose. “We may have to go in guns blazing.”

 

“I’m with you whatever we do,” Nick said, putting his hand on her shoulder. He hoped they wouldn’t have to face the Forged with their flamers - Nick himself would have a hard time dealing with the fire and keeping his coolant running, but fire could potentially kill Lauren, or seriously maim her. He’d watch her back and make sure no one got close enough to even try and use their flamethrowers.

 

The ironworks came into view and they stopped off briefly at the Slog, talking with the ghouls before departing. Lauren was jittering with nerves, thumbing the safety of her gun as they cautiously approached. Nick hated seeing her like this - Lauren wasn’t one for conflict even though she knew how to handle herself. She preferred avoiding it altogether - but in this world, you couldn’t keep running forever. Eventually, you had to turn around and face your demons.

 

Nick fell into step beside her, ducking behind a tree as Lauren dove into some bushes. He peered around it and scanned the ironworks with his optics, picking out an easy target.

 

“Up top.” Nick said quietly, pointing to the top of the ironworks. Lauren nodded to him, pulling her sniper rifle from her back.

 

“Shit,” she grunted. “No silencer. I don’t have one that fits this.” she grumbled as she shuffled out of the bush slightly, shaking a few dead leaves from her hair. “Should’ve brought the one Tinker Tom gave me… Christ.”

 

“Don’t worry about it,” Nick said, placing his skeletal hand on her shoulder and giving her a reassuring squeeze. “If any of them come close, I’ll take care of them.” he continued, grabbing the assault rifle Lauren had given him from his pack. She had customised it and carefully carved the word _Valentine_ into the wooden stock - she was quite the gunsmith.

 

“Okay… I’ve got someone in my sights.” Lauren said quietly, adjusting her arms with a roll of her shoulders. “This is gonna be loud, keep your eyes open.” she held her breath before she took the shot. It cracked through the air like thunder, and Nick looked up in time to see one of the Forged fall from the ironworks roof. There was movement amongst the flames and fortifications, and Lauren quickly reloaded. Nick was ready to get up and take the Forged head on when another shot cracked through the air. There was no scream of pain, no shout - Lauren was efficient with her kills. She didn’t like to see people - no matter who they were - to suffer.

 

“Find them!” one of the Forged snarled. Nick tapped Lauren’s shoulder and she slung her rifle over it.

 

“They’re looking for us,” he warned. Lauren rummaged in her bag for a moment and pressed two grenades into his hand.

 

“Let’s run some interference then,” she said. She pulled out two more grenades, pulling the pin from one before she threw it as hard as she could towards the ironworks. The explosion threw up dirt and dust and there were cries of pain from the Forged. “Okay… three, two, one.” she stood up out of cover and Nick was quick to join her.

 

“There they are!” a Forged woman screeched, readying her Flamer. “You bastard! You little bitch, you-!” blood sprayed from her head and she collapsed to the floor. Lauren stood behind Nick, gun in hand, concentration written on her face like she had been trained to kill.

 

Dispatching the rest of them wasn’t easy. The Forged weren’t average raiders - they were dangerous, throwing Molotov cocktails around and singing Nick’s coat something fierce. By the end of it, they’d witnessed a settler be thrown into a vat of molten iron, rescued some kid who’d gotten _way_ out of his depth, and dealt with the last of the Forged. On the walk back to Sanctuary, Lauren was uncharacteristically quiet, her hands shoved deep in her pockets and her head low.

 

She split off from Nick when they arrived, heading towards the showers. She was exhausted and he couldn’t blame her - she suffered from chronic pain and walking took an awful lot out of her. When they had first started travelling together, she had needed frequent rest stops and relied heavily on Med-X to keep the pain at bay, but she could go for longer now. He couldn’t approve of the drug use - Nick had already had to help her through one round of addiction and he didn’t want to traipse across the land to find more Addictol again or nurse her through another round of cold feet, but in all honesty, for her, he would.

 

The sun had begun its descent by the time Nick saw Lauren next. She looked exhausted. It had been weeks since they had gotten the information out of what was left of Kellog’s brain. She hadn’t wanted to set off to the Glowing Sea just yet - she said she didn’t feel ready. She wanted to find her son, she really did - but the Glowing Sea was nothing to be trifled with. They needed to be well prepared.

 

“Hey doll,” Nick said, walking over to her as she leant on the door of her shack. She smiled tiredly at him as he joined her. “How are you doing?”

 

“Mmm, could be better,” she admitted, yawning and rubbing her face. “I was thinking we should head to the Glowing Sea soon - tomorrow, maybe. The Power Armour I got when I rescued Preston is back in working order. Me and Sturges have been working on it forever - I think… even though I’m scared shitless by the idea of going into the Glowing Sea… we have to find Virgil,” she paused and looked at him, silent for a moment as she watched his face carefully. “You still okay with coming with me?”

 

“Of course,” Nick said. “I’m immune to radiation, and I don’t need food or rest,” he continued, leaning on the wall next to her, desperate to close the distance between the two of them. “I can carry supplies for you, not that I think we’ll be in that hellhole for long.”

 

“The sooner we find Virgil and get back, the better,” Lauren said, looking up at the sky. “I should be getting some rest… I’ll see you in the morning and we’ll gather what we need for our trip,” she said, rubbing the back of her neck nervously.

 

“I’ll see you in the morning, sweetheart,” Nick said with a gentle smile.

 

“See you in the mornin’,” she replied, hesitating as if she were about to say more before she stepped into her shack. Nick pulled the door shut and lit up a cigarette, ready to begin his night watch.


	2. Ready the Sails

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to head out to the one place you should never go - the Glowing Sea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't write action scenes for shit, and this got longer than I intended and I can't find anywhere to cut it orz
> 
> Enjoy!

Nick was standing on one of the watchtowers when the sun began to rise. The weather had been atrocious all night - a howling gale accompanied by a radstorm. Lauren had gotten up in the night to hand Rad-X out to everyone who lived in Sanctuary - eating away at her stocks that they had built up for their trip to the Glowing Sea. 

When the settlers began to rise, Nick turned to watch them. Hancock took a puff of jet as he ruffled his shirt in that pretentious way he did before he sat down to his breakfast of mentats. Marcy and Jun had another half-sided argument before they started to look after the plants that Lauren had assigned them to. Mama Murphy went on her morning walk with Dogmeat at her heels, throwing a baseball for the mutt and nearly getting bowled over by him a few times.

MacCready stood by the door of one of the shacks he shared with Hancock and Cait, brooding as per usual. Codsworth was floating around, handing out fresh water to anyone he passed. Preston set up the guard rotation for the day. Nick couldn’t spot Deacon - he’d probably put on a fresh disguise and was already tending to the crops.

Cait was probably sleeping in - everyone knew that waking her up early was a fight waiting to happen. Piper was back at Diamond City, making sure everything was running smoothly at the Publick Occurrences and was due to return sometime today. Curie had begun to fill the brahmin’s feed trough and was kissing the mutated cow on both of its heads.

“Hey, Nick,” Nick looked down the steps of the guard tower. Preston was standing with his laser musket at the ready. “Your shift is over. I didn’t see Lauren get up. Think you could go check on her?”

“Sure, sure,” it was rare that Preston ever called ‘The General’ by her first name. He frowned as he walked down the steps, making his way over to Lauren’s shack. He knocked lightly on the door before speaking. “Hey doll, it’s me.”

“Mmm,” Lauren grunted in reply.

“I’m coming in, you better cover up,” Nick warned, opening the door and stepping in. Lauren was curled up underneath a blanket, staring out at the wall. Nick stepped over to her bed and sat down on it, running his solid hand through her hair. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I got trampled by a herd of brahmin,” she mumbled. “Pressure must be high after that storm. Feel like I’m being pulled apart.”

“You need me to get some Med-X?” Nick asked. “I’m sure Hancock has some in his pockets.” he offered. Lauren looked contemplative for a second before she let out a low sigh.

“Yeah. I’m gonna need it if we’re going to the Sea today,” she said, sitting up slowly with a pained grumble. “Using the power armour should take some of my weight off my limbs, and I hopefully won’t get held up.” she sighed and ran her hands through her hair. “Could you pass me my glasses, please?”

Nick glanced at the small table by Lauren’s bed, grabbing her thick rimmed spectacles and handing them to her. She slipped them onto her face and smiled gratefully at him.

“I’ll go get that Med-X now, you just hang tight here,” Nick said as he stood up.

“You got it, Nicky,” she said, saluting at him with two fingers as he left. It wasn’t hard to spot Hancock - with his signature bright red coat and ghoulish appearance. He was in amongst the muttfruit trees, pruning them with tender hands when Nick approached.

“Nick Valentine,” Hancock grinned as the synth walked over. “What can I do you for?”

“You got some Med-X hidden away in that coat of yours?” Nick asked, glancing over the young muttfruit plants as he did.

“What do you need Med-X for?” Hancock asked. Nick glanced up at him, saying nothing. “Oh, it’s for our lovely iron maiden, huh? Give me a sec.” Hancock patted himself down before producing a Med-X. “Unused - only the best for her.”

“Thanks, Hancock,” Nick said, taking the Med-X from the ghoul. “I owe you one.”

“Sure,” Hancock grinned. “You told her yet?”

“Told her what?” Nick looked at him and frowned.

“Don’t play the fool with me, Nicky. You’re a detective, ain’t you? Have you told Lauren how you feel about her?”

“I,” Nick recoiled uncomfortably. If he had hairs on the back of his neck, they would have risen as he stepped back. “No. Doesn’t seem fair to her.”

“Fair?” Hancock snorted. “Nothing’s fair in this world, Valentine. She knows that more than most. Don’t you think she deserves something - some _one_ \- for her to love, and to love her, too?” Hancock waved a hand dismissively as he turned his attention back to the trees. “You better tell her sooner, you know. MacCready’s been eyeing her up.”

“You don’t have to tell me,” Nick said. He liked MacCready - the kid’s heart was in the right place, even if he’d fucked up in the past - but he was jealous that he saw Lauren in that way. Jealous that anyone saw her that way. After all, why would she choose him when flesh and blood men and women chased her? He shook his head as he walked back to Lauren’s shack. The door was open and Codsworth was pottering around. “Hey, got your Med-X.”

“Please,” Lauren held out one hand - the other had a mug of tea, presumably brewed by Codsworth - and Nick set the Med-X in it. She pushed the blanket from her - she was only wearing a loose shirt and shorts - and sank the needle of the Med-X into the flesh of her hip. She glanced at the reading on the side before pressing the button. The telltale sound of the injection was followed by a soft grumble from Lauren as she pulled the Med-X needle from her leg. She grabbed a rag from her table and pressed it on her leg before she looked up at Nick. “So… when this shit kicks in, you still up for heading to the Glowing Sea?”

 

“The Glowing Sea, mum?” Codsworth interjected, spinning around to look at her with his eye stalks. “Isn’t that dangerous?”

“Yeah,” she replied as if it were nothing, swinging her legs over to stand up slowly. “I have to find someone called Virgil, to get us into the Institute. I don’t really have a choice - I’m not going to ask you and Nick to go together. Shaun’s my son… it should be me.”

“I must protest,” Codsworth said. “You’re not in a fit state to go at the moment, mum. I insist you wait until you are feeling better.”

“Codsworth,” Lauren sighed softly and patted the robot on the side. “I’ve been putting it off for weeks. It’s now or never. We wait any longer, Virgil might be dead.”

“I…” Codsworth let out a tinny sigh. “I understand, mum. Please be careful,” he said, turning to leave. “I shall gather more supplies for you and leave them by your power armour. Good luck.”

“Ever since he lost us, he’s been trying to make up for it,” Lauren said with a sigh as she watched him leave. Nick sat on the chair and watched her slip on her vault suit. “I wish I could tell him it’s not his fault. He’s a little piece of home, y’know?”

“I figure it must be hard, being so far away from home,” Nick said. “You ever wanna try and go home?”

“God, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about it,” Lauren said as she stretched out. “But there’s no way. Not unless we borrow a vertibird from the Brotherhood,” she sighed. “Even if I went back… chances are it’s just as shitty there as it is here, and my family’s all dead. Even if they were ghouls… they could be ferals. Could you imagine it, though? Me finding my family and they’re ghouls, and here’s me with my soft skin and dead husband?” she sighed. “Come on, let’s get ready.”

Nick followed Lauren out to where she had her power armour stored. It had a makeshift storage unit attached to both legs. Sturges and Codsworth were filling the storage and Nick’s pack with the supplies they could need - food, water, medicine and ammo. Lauren was tinkering with the left arm of the armour - she’d removed her Pip-Boy and was connecting it up, sticking her tongue out in that way she did whenever she was concentrating.

“If the wind changes direction, your face’ll be stuck like that,” Nick said as he tinkered with his gun on the workbench. He turned to Lauren to see her stick her tongue out at him childishly before she returned to her work. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you, doll.”

“You’ll still love my face even if it does,” she teased in reply. “Ah, fuck. Come on you fucking… piece of shit.” Nick turned to watch as she practically slammed the Pip-Boy into the armour. “Fuckin’ finally. Stupid piece of shit.”

“What did that poor Pip-Boy do to you now, huh?” he asked, slipping his pistol into its holster. Lauren stood up and wiped her hands, turning to him and shrugging.

“It was just… being particularly stubborn,” she said.

“Much like it’s owner then,” Nick said with a sly smile. Lauren frowned, pushing her glasses up before she turned back to the power armour. “You got enough fusion cores for the trip?”

“Uh-huh,” she replied. “One fresh one in there already - depending on what we run into, that’ll last til we reach the edge of the Sea…” she tapped her chin. “I think I put three or four in your pack - it’ll be better for you to reach ‘em and change them out for me, rather than me having to get out.”

“And risk exposing that pretty face to radiation?” Nick asked, yellow eyes twinkling in amusement as Lauren blushed furiously. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

“I might have to get out anyways,” she said, giving her armour the once over and keeping her bright red face out of Nick’s line of sight. “We’ll find somewhere deep enough that the rads don’t reach if I get too high a reading on the Pip-Boy. I just can’t risk it, you know?” she sighed as she circled her armour again, running her fingers over the scuff marks and bullet scratches. “I’m praying we don’t meet any deathclaws out there, or radscorpions… but it’ll be bloody well teaming with the bastards.”

“We got enough firepower to get through their armour?” Nick asked. Lauren sidled over to him and picked up one of the heavier looking guns.

“Tinker Tom sent me this baby the other day,” she said. “It fires _railway spikes_. I’ve only got about ten of the things - but this should be powerful enough to sink into the tough hide of a deathclaw, or the hard exoskeleton of a radscorpion,” Lauren continued, lifting it up. “I’ll be carrying this - and you with your nimble free hands will need to retrieve any spikes I end up using.”

“You got it,” Nick said. “Any new number for me, doll?”

“But of course,” the young woman grinned at him, ducking into the broken house and opening up a locked box. She pulled out a rather standard looking laser gun. “Bought this baby from Arturo back when we last went to saw Ellie and deal with some of your cold cases,” she set it on the bench. “If you’ll give me a sec, I have a few spare parts laying around I can fix her up with.”

“Go right ahead,” Nick said, stepping away to watch the young engineer at work. She was a marvel to watch - she had a way with machines that intrigued Nick. She’d divulged enough information about herself to him that he knew she’d been tinkering her whole life, so it made sense she knew her way around a workbench. Lighting a cigarette, he watched as she pulled up a stool and sat cross-legged on it, hunched over the gun like an overprotective child would hunch around their favourite toy.

She was pulling bits out and setting them down, then fixing new parts in. She held it like she would if she was shooting, turning around and indicating for Nick to move. He stepped out of the way as she hollered “Testing a weapon!” before firing the gun.

“Hm, no, not quite right yet…” she muttered, removing the screwdriver from behind her ear and leaning over the bench again.

“It giving you trouble?” Nick asked, peering over her shoulder as she fine-tuned the gun a little more.

“Yep,” she said, grunting as she twisted a small rod into place. “Just needs a bit more… finagling… and, HA!” she spun on the stool again, aiming at the once white wall across the street. “Testing a weapon!” she shouted once more, firing the laser. The beam was far more concentrated this time and she broke out into a grin. “One more thing… this grip is pants, need a new one.” she stepped over to a large chest of drawers, setting the gun down before she rifled through a drawer. “No, no. Too big, too small. Come on, I know I have a marksman’s stuffed in here…” she paused to scratch her head, huffing. “Give’s a hand, would you Nick?”

“Sure, sure,” Nick joined her and peered into the drawer. It was a mess - different kinds of stocks, sights, scopes and muzzles were strewn around haphazardly, and Lauren’s dainty hands rifling through it was making the mess worse. “Here.” Nick reached in and pulled out the marksman’s stock.

“You’re a damn good item finder,” she said with a grin, taking it from him and patting his cheek. “Just need to unscrew the current stock and replace it, and I think… we should be ready to skedaddle.”

“You and your British slang,” Nick said as he watched her work, shaking his head. “I’m never going to get used to it.”

“I never got used to Boston slang,” Lauren replied, tossing the old stock over her shoulder. Nick stooped forward and caught it, setting it in the parts drawer. “Sometimes I felt like the only good conversation I could ever have was with Codsworth. You know people asked me if I was related to the man who did his voice? Honestly, we sound nothing alike! It’s like asking if a Texan voiced a New Yorker.” she shook her head before turning, holding the gun at arm’s length. “Here she is. Arturo said her name was _Old Faithful_ \- isn’t that the name of a geyser at Yellowstone Park?” she paused and pursed her lips in thought. “Wonder how that place is doing. Anyhoo,” she set the weapon into Nick’s hands. “Help me into the Power Armour, would you?”

Nick set the laser rifle down before following Lauren to the Power Armour. Some of the joints were stiff and it was a two man job getting her in - and he wasn’t surprised. It had taken a beating from the deathclaw she’d told him about - what a way to experience the Commonwealth for the first time, with a giant death lizard pounding you into the ground while you sat helplessly in power armour.

When Lauren was fitted, she took the armour for a spin around Sanctuary, Dogmeat yapping excitedly at her heels. She said her goodbyes to the rest of their friends, petting Dogmeat and telling him to stay and “be a good boy” while she was gone. Preston walked them to the gates, waving them off and telling them to watch themselves.

They passed through the old Wicked Shipping Fleet lockup first, skirting around it to avoid whatever had decided to make it their home before they stopped by Sunshine Tidings. The folks there had just finished building the perimeter wall Lauren had drawn up, and plans were being made to expand the power to all the new buildings that were being pulled together.

They veered east to avoid conflict at the Federal Ration Stockpile. “Don’t want the new paint getting scuffed,” Lauren insisted, but Nick knew better. Going anywhere near military installations made her uneasy as hell - he attributed it to her being reminded too much of her dead husband. He didn’t blame her for not wanting to go near.

There was no avoiding Fort Hagen, though. Lauren stared at the old building where they had confronted Kellogg as they walked, and though he couldn’t see her face, Nick knew that she was trying to be strong. For all that she had been through - losing not just her husband and son, but her whole _world_ \- she was coping fairly well. All he could remember about waking up in this place was how scared and confused he had been.

Their first proper fight was at the old Roadside Pines Motel. They had cleared it out weeks ago but raiders were like roaches. You stomped on one, another would come crawling out to take its place. 

“Shit!” Lauren ducked behind a car as the telltale screech of a mini nuke sailing through the air whistled over their heads. “One of those bastards has a fucking Fat Man! We’re sitting ducks out here!” she said, banging the car with an armoured fist. “Nick… I’m going to run out as bait - I want you to spot the idiot with the Fat Man and take ‘em out.”

“No!” Nick said, frowning at her as gunshots screamed above them. “You still need to find your son! I’ll be the bait.”

“Dressed like that?” Lauren snorted and he could hear the cocky smile in her words. “They won’t look at you twice. They want this,” she thumbed the power armour. “And I’m not giving it to ‘em without a fight.” she breathed out and sighed. Nick knew she was right - they’d go for her in a heartbeat and ignore him. As much as he hated letting her put herself in danger, there didn’t seem to be any other option.

“All right,” Nick said. “But you better come out of this alive, you hear me?”

“You got it, boss,” Lauren replied, saluting at him. “Wish me luck.” he knew she was grinning as she got up and sprinted past the old motel. Nick winced as he heard gunshots pinging off of her armour, and he steeled himself as he leant over the car. He had to spot the Fat Man wielder before they took her out.

“Got you,” Nick said, gritting his teeth together as he spotted the raider hurriedly loading a mini nuke into the Fat Man. The laser gun Lauren had customised in hand, he pulled the trigger. The laser fizzed through the air, striking the raider on the side. He let out a garbled scream as his flesh burned, dropping the Fat Man to the floor. Nick reached into his pack and pulled out a grenade - a strong enough blast would detonate the Fat Man and decimate the raiders. He pulled the pin with his skeletal hand before tossing it over the car.

What he hadn’t expected to hear was a distant “Shit, shit, shit,” become a very close, “ _Shit, shit, shit!_ ”. Lauren barrelled past him and ducked into a building. “Nick, get in here!” she shouted, taking out one of the raiders with a fist through their head.

Nick scrambled in beside her, glancing at her before peeking out. “What’s the problem?”

“Brotherhood,” she said, panting under her power armour. “We’re not exactly friends, after that whole, hey, don’t kill Danse he’s an okay guy thing,” she said, gesturing wildly with her hands. “In fact, they hate me. I might’ve threatened to kill Elder Maxson if he tried anything, see.” she sighed. “I should’ve told you earlier that they’ve got it in for us… I’m surprised they haven’t tried to storm the Castle yet…” 

“Vertibird? Or just a couple of bucket heads? Present company excluded, of course.” Nick said as he peered around the corner.

“A vertibird. No bucket heads from what I saw… but I was running at like, mach three to get away,” she chuckled. “Okay, I need to get out of my armour. See if I can’t snipe the pilot out,” she said. Her power armour beeped and she stepped out, shaking herself off. “Stay here - they see you and they’ll open fire quicker than a mole rat’ll bite your arm off.”

“You’re not seriously going to go out there without your armour, are you?” Nick hissed, grabbing Lauren’s arm as she made to leave the safety of the building. “You’ll be a sitting duck out there!”

“They’re a bit occupied with what’s left of the raiders on the roof,” Lauren insisted, batting his hand as she grabbed a sniper rifle carefully attached to her power armour. “Stay low. I’ll be back in a jiffy,” she promised, grinning at him. Nick sighed, keeping an eye on her six as she dashed out and dove behind a car, readying the rifle.

He turned his head slightly as he heard a footstep behind him. Side stepping, a raider swung a lead pipe at the spot Nick had just been standing in. He didn’t have time to reach for his gun - not in this enclosed space, not with Lauren’s power armour just sitting there, ready for the raider to hop in - so he balled his good hand into a fist and swung.

The sound of rubbery plastic hitting flesh was never a pleasant one, but it sent the raider sprawling backwards, the lead pipe spinning out of her hand. She caught herself on the door frame, rubbing her chin and glaring at Nick.

“So the clockwork dick’s got some fight in him,” she said, spitting out blood and grinning wildly. “Where’s your girlfriend? If she’s not quick about using that rifle, she’ll end up as dead as Jimmy.” she indicated loosely to the sizzling remains of the Fat Man raider before she snarled. “I’ll end you!”

She charged at him, lowering herself to rugby tackle Nick. Surprisingly, she had enough strength to lift him and slam him against the wall. Nick felt his insides rattle - one of his fans felt like it had just shattered - and kicked out, catching the raider on the shin. She shrieked indignantly, clawing at Nick’s already tattered face.

The sound of a gunshot crackling through the air made Nick flinch. He had thought the raider had pulled out his small pistol and shot him, but the warm liquid seeping through his shirt wasn’t his. The raider didn’t seem to react at first - but she slumped forward, dead. Nick caught a glimpse of her face, spotting the exit wound square on her forehead - and the bullet had slammed into the wall mere millimetres from his ear.

He caught his breath and wiped at his bloodied face with his sleeve, watching Lauren turn from him and towards the whirring sound of the Vertibird. There was a sudden hail of bullets and Nick felt his simulated breath catch in his throat as Lauren ducked down. The car was pelted and it didn’t take that many bullets to ignite a fire under the hood.

Being a synth, Nick had a far superior reaction time than any human did, but even he knew he wouldn’t reach Lauren in time to shield her from the blast. She would either be engulfed by the flames or risk adding several bullet holes to her already way too large collection.

Nick tried to call out her name, voice emulator stuttering as he watched her abandon her position and make a mad dash for where he was. The hail of bullets from the vertibird did not cease, following her as she ran. Lauren covered her head with her arms - though that would do no use if she took a hit that high up - and ran like hell.

The car she had been hiding behind exploded, a miniature mushroom cloud rising. The shockwave hit Lauren first - lifting her from the ground and sending her flying into the open doorway. Nick caught her, but the blast hit him as well, his back colliding with the stone wall and probably cracking a few more vital parts of him. His Geiger counter was beeping rapidly, as was his artificial heart, desperately pumping coolant around his body.

He held Lauren tightly, not daring to move. He could feel the thrumming of her heart through her thin Vault suit, enough to tell him that she was alive. The distant hum of the vertibird became quieter - they believed that no one could have survived being that close to a nuclear blast - and eventually the only sounds were Lauren’s pained breathing and the gentle whirr of Nick’s internal system.

“Ow.” Lauren broke the silence and pushed herself up slowly from Nick’s lap, her hazel eyes meeting his yellow ones. “Jesus, are you alright? First, that crazy raider slams you against the wall, then my fat ass does,” she scrambled back, grimacing as she held her side. “Think I bruised a rib.”

“You and me both, doll,” Nick said, adjusting himself against the wall until he was comfortable. “I think I shattered an internal fan. You might need to take a look at it.”

“You… what?” Lauren blinked before raising a brow. “You want me to take a look at your internal system? Are you sure that’s wise?”

“Well, look around,” Nick said, untying his jacket and setting about undoing his shirt buttons. “You see any other well-qualified engineer running about? It’s not like we can divert and see anyone else qualified.”

“Point taken,” Lauren said with a sigh, reaching into her belt and pulling out a screwdriver. “How do I, like… take your plating off?” she asked timidly, shuffling over to him as he opened his shirt.

“Like this,” Nick said, sliding his delicate metal fingers under the seam and pushing in just the right place. It popped and he looked up at Lauren. There was a dark blush on her face, and initially, he wondered if she’d absorbed too many rads from the blast before it occurred to him that he’d never been semi-naked in front of her before. Nick had always been clothed no matter what - it was rare for him to even take his jacket off. Was she embarrassed? “Hey, you okay there, doll?”

“Hm, what?” Lauren blinked and stared at Nick’s face. “Yeah, yeah! I’m… hmm, look at that.” she changed the subject as she leant down to peer into Nick’s body. “Wow, some serious stuff in here. You’re a hell of a lot more than a walking talking wind-up toy, that’s for sure,” she said, grabbing a flashlight from her belt. “Okay, I… might need to lie on your lap.” she cleared her throat and glanced at him. “That okay with you?”

“You do what you gotta do, doll,” Nick assured her. Lauren pursed her lips briefly before setting herself down on her stomach between Nick’s legs. “See anything?”

“No, not yet,” she said, biting her lower lip. “Y’know… last time I was like this between a guy’s legs, I wasn’t peering at his innards,” she said, briefly meeting his eyes before she looked back inside him. “Ah-ha! One of your fans is dislodged a bit - feeling hot?” she asked. Nick shrugged.

“No more hot than usual.” he replied.

“Okay, gonna stick my hand in; don’t, like… zap me or anything.” Lauren said, setting the screwdriver into Nick’s hand.

“I can’t make any promises,” Nick said with a smirk.

“Oh, ha ha,” Lauren snorted in reply, gently reaching into Nick’s body with her hand. It was always strange, having someone else root around in his body when he was awake. It didn’t hurt, but it didn’t feel of anything. He knew they were there, but he could never feel what they were doing. “Come on, you stubborn fuck. Get _in_.” Lauren growled through gritted teeth, pressing her forehead against his chest plate. “The inside of you is as stubborn as the outside,” she commented with a grumble.

“Just like you, then.” Nick grinned, trying to keep himself still. “Not seeing any leaks in there, are you?”

“Don’t think so,” Lauren replied, scratching her head as she looked up at him. She turned her eyes back to his stomach and Nick grunted as he felt his fan pop back into place. She pushed herself back as Nick pushed his plate back into place. “Think you could give me the once over? I know you’re no doctor but I can’t exactly _look_ at my ribs,” she said, moving to his side and sitting beside him.

“Sure,” Nick said as he buttoned his shirt back up. “You might wanna take that vault suit off so I can get a proper look at you.” he continued, loosely tying up his tie.

“Can’t you at least take me to dinner first?” she asked, smiling as she unclipped her plastic armour and unzipped her vault suit. “Ow, fuck… moving hurts more that I’d like to admit.”

“Here, let me see,” Nick said, moving to look at her. There was already a purple bruise blossoming on her side. He glanced at her face - she was blushing like a simpering schoolgirl - before he gently pressed his good hand against her ribs. She sucked in a breath, gripping his arm tightly. “Sorry, I’m trying to be gentle.”

“I know,” Lauren replied, forcing herself to smile at him. “Still hurts like a bitch. You think it’s broken or bruised?”

“Like you said,” Nick shrugged lightly. “I can’t tell. I think we should head back, have Curie take a look at you.”

“No,” Lauren hissed through gritted teeth. “I can’t afford to. I’ve waited this long - what if the Institute has already killed Virgil?” she looked at him with those sad puppy eyes of hers and Nick felt himself sigh softly. “I can’t. I can’t, Shaun is so close. Just plug me with a Stimpak and we’ll keep going.”

“Okay, hold still,” Nick said, rifling around in his bag and pulling out a Stimpak. He gently wiped the dirt from her skin before sinking the needle into the flesh between her ribs where the bruising was worst. Lauren screwed her eyes shut and gripped Nick’s arm tightly as the medicine pumped into her system. When the soft _pssh_ noise finished, he pulled the Stimpak out and pressed a dirty cloth against Lauren’s skin. “Feeling better?” Nick asked, looking carefully at Lauren as she opened her eyes and adjusted herself with a groan.

“It’ll take a little while to work,” she mumbled in reply, pulling her vault sit back on. “But… I think I’ll live.”


	3. Sail the Sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Glowing Sea sucks, end of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #fucktheglowingsea
> 
> Tried to employ some realism here I guess. I've shot a deathclaw's head clean off with a gauss rifle in game before ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ to foreshadowing, and onwards!

Nick insisted they stay at the hotel for an hour or so to let Lauren catch her breath and recover. He could usually bounce back from most fights, so he was already ready to go, but Lauren wasn’t made quite like he was. She was soft from her years pre-war. Sure, she’d hardened a bit at the edges since he’d met her, but she was still the same quiet young woman he knew she had been once. This world was trying to break her and push her, and she was pushing back and not letting it crush her beautiful soul.

They set off when Lauren insisted she was feeling all right, climbing back into her power armour and setting off south towards Natick Banks. They’d heard rumours about the place - crawling with Super Mutants, nothing a few well-placed shots couldn’t handle - and Lauren didn’t want to waste more time with a detour. They were going to storm the place. It was close enough to Oberland Station that Lauren considered the mutants a threat - and she and Nick were going to take them out together.

“You sure about this?” Nick asked as he readied his laser gun, ensuring that he had a fully charged fusion cell in and ready.

“Like hell I am,” Lauren said, sighing as she peered over the makeshift defences the Super Mutants had put in place. “Hm… it’s too quiet, don’t you think?” she asked, glancing at Nick. He had to agree - his detection software wasn’t picking anything up nearby. Were the mutants out raiding?

“I think we should get a move-,” Nick cut himself off as he heard loud, thudding footsteps and deep breathing. “That’s not a mutant,” he whispered.

“Fuck me,” Lauren ducked down from the fence. “It’s a fucking deathclaw. As if we won’t encounter enough of those shit heads when we’re in the Glowing Sea…” she sighed. “How do you want to go about this?”

“I think we should avoid it entirely,” Nick replied, peering through a gap in the fence. The deathclaw was devouring a super mutant, blood coating it’s scaly mouth. He pulled a face; he wasn’t one to get queasy but for this, he’d make an exception. “We’re going to encounter some in the Glowing Sea anyway - we don’t need that armour getting scratched up.”

“You’re right.” Lauren sighed and laid her head back on the fence. “And we don’t need it making mincemeat of you, either.” she pushed herself up as quietly as she could, her power armour groaning softly as she did. “Come on. Before the wind changes and it catches our scent.”

The detour didn’t take that long but Nick could tell Lauren wasn’t happy about it. If she could have folded her arms in defiance she would have done, but she strolled in front of him, likely scowling underneath that helmet.

The first evidence that they were at the edge of the Sea was the blasted trees and scorched earth. The sky darkened as a storm rolled in, carrying the radiation from the blast crater and over their heads. Nick helped Lauren remove her helmet so she could swallow few Rad-X pills before they moved on, trudging slowly through the Glowing Sea together.

“Hey, you see that?” Lauren pointed at a flag waving some distance ahead of them. “The good old US flag. Haven’t seen that in a long time.” she continued, pausing to check their perimeter. “Think we should head inside? This core’s nearly spent, so I need you to change it somewhere safe.”

“Then let’s get there before this storm gets any worse,” Nick replied. Lauren lead the way, her power armour beeping every second or so, telling her that her fuel source was low. The building came into view and Nick paused as he heard movement. “Get down!” he hissed, ducking behind a rusted old truck. Lauren was quick to join him as a laser turret span into action, firing a burst towards them.

“Shit, how did I not see that?” Lauren asked, grabbing her sniper rifle. “Fuck this armour, how the shit did anyone move in this shit back in the day?” she growled, fumbling with the trigger. “I can’t get a clear shot unless I move out into the open.”

“And risk life and limb for an old private eye?” Nick quipped. He heard Lauren’s soft snort. “I can’t get a good shot off either. That thing’ll blow my head off before I even have a chance.”

“Then it’s down to me,” Lauren sighed loudly as another burst of laser fire flew over their heads. “Wish me luck, Valentine,” she said, touching his shoulder briefly before she stood and ran into the turret’s line of fire. 

Nick watched with baited breath as Lauren pulled the scope of her rifle close to her visor, taking the full brunt of the laser turret. Her armour beeped indignantly before she finally took the shot, the turret exploding loudly - and likely bringing unwanted attention. Nick glanced from around the truck and spotted the Protectrons coming into action in the old military bunker.

“Get down!” Nick shouted, pulling a grenade from his pack. He tugged the pin off with his skeletal hand and tossed the explosive towards the door of the building. Lauren turned her back to it as it exploded, destroying one of the Protectrons outright and crippling the other. The one still standing was quick to join it’s comrade as it exploded in a fiery, mushroom cloud-y fashion. “That was a few too many rads I’d like,” Nick said as thunder and lightning crackled overhead. “We better get inside before more guests crash our party.”

Lauren said nothing, nodding to him before she pushed on into the building. It was trashed inside as anywhere else in the Commonwealth was. As soon as Nick joined Lauren inside the building, she lifted the closest desk and jammed the door shut with it, kicking the Protectrons out of the way before she let out a sigh or relief.

“Give us a hand out of this thing, would you?” she asked. Nick nodded, stepping behind her and twisting the back of the suit. It opened with a hiss and Nick caught Lauren as she stumbled out. “Protected by all that armour and that bloody sentry still hurt like buggery.”

“How bad?” Nick asked as he sat Lauren down on the nearest chair.

“Think the heat seared right through my suit,” she said, unzipping her vault suit. Her stomach was bright red - and already beginning to blister. “Great. Nick, there should be some water and a cloth in your bag. Could you get it, please?”

“Sure, sure,” Nick perched on the desk beside her, taking his bag from his back and digging through it. He pulled out a bottle and a clean cloth and handed it to his companion. She folded the cloth before pouring some of the water - her precious drinking water - onto it. She hissed as she pressed the cloth against her stomach, leaning back on the desk. “Need another Stimpak?” Nick inquired.

“No,” Lauren shook her head. “We need to save them for broken limbs and shit. This is nothing. It might scar up but I don’t care.” she ran a hand through her hair as she stood up, walking around the room. “This place held up pretty well. Not that there’s much left. Whoever was here last must have set off the security system,” she paused, rubbing her chin as she spun around on her heels. “Looks like there are a couple beds. That terminal probably unlocks that door.”

“I can take a crack at it if you want.” Nick offered. Lauren shook her head.

“It’ll get my mind off of the pain,” she said, sliding into the seat and turning the computer on. Nick stood and walked over, watching her as she sorted through the code and mumbled to herself. “No, that’s not it,” she grumbled as she picked another wrong code.

“You sure you don’t need me to-,” Nick stopped mid-sentence as Lauren unlocked the terminal. “Oh. You got it,” he smiled as she unlocked the door. “You sure you’re not part synth? Well, not that you’d know it.”

“Pretty sure I’m a three-pound blob piloting a meat sack,” Lauren replied as she stepped into the previously locked room. “A workbench - pity I didn’t bring anything with me,” she said, brushing the dust from it with her fingertips as Nick rifled through boxes. “Anything useful?”

“No, nothing but crumbling papers and files,” Nick replied, pulling open a drawer. “Couple of bits of scrap, nothing worth hauling home.”

“How bout we check out those lockers by the beds? Bet to be something interesting there.” Lauren suggested. Nick nodded, following her over to the beds as rad-thunder rumbled overhead. Nick stepped to the right side, opening a foot locker and looking through it as Lauren veered to the left, stepping over discarded dumbbells and broken locker doors. “Oh shit, Nuka Cola!” she exclaimed. Nick turned to see her practically diving onto a bed before she grabbed two dusty bottles. “Oh sweet lord above, my favourite.”

“You sure you should be drinking that?” Nick asked as she cracked open a bottle with a knife. She didn’t reply, necking the first bottle of cola like it was nothing.

“Still got that fizz,” she said, pocketing the bottlecap and discarding the bottle. “Think I’ll save this for later.” Lauren continued, holding the Nuka Cherry tightly. “And yeah, I know - bad habit, right? You can’t fault me for liking old world comforts.”

“No, I can’t,” Nick said with a smile. He liked some of them too - namely cigarettes, which his body didn’t even crave but he still smoked anyway. At least Lauren was getting some calories in her. When they had first met she had a much more house-wifey shape and had lost form. She was still a pretty young woman, though. “That radstorm sounds bad,” Nick said, glancing up at the ceiling as loud thunder rumbled over them.

“I don’t want to wait it out - radstorms might not last long at home but we’re right in the eye of the storm here - metaphorically,” Lauren said with a sigh as she sat on the bed and leant against the wall. “But I’m gonna need some time for my stomach to stop hurting before we go.”

“That’s fine by me,” Nick said, pulling a cigarette from his coat and lighting it. Lauren patted the bed beside her and looked at him expectantly, and he couldn’t help but oblige her. He sat next to her, leaning back on the wall and kicking his legs out lazily. Lauren hesitated beside him for a moment before she laid her head on his shoulder. “You doing okay, doll?”

“I guess,” Lauren replied with a hefty sigh. “Quiet moments like this… everything just sort of… catches up to me, y’know?” she pushed her hair from her face as Nick glanced at her. “I still… still feel like I’m in a weird fever dream, y’know? Like I’m gonna wake up and I’m gonna be the size of a whale, still carrying Shaun.”

“I hate to break it to you,” Nick said as he took a puff of his cigarette. “But this world is as real as you and me.”

“Yeah, I know,” Lauren said softly, closing her eyes. “Hey… did I tell you I’ve been having the same dream over and over?” Nick glanced at her again as she set her big brown eyes on him.

“No, I don’t believe you did,” Nick answered, gently moving his arm so Lauren could get closer to him.

“Is it… alright if I tell you?” Lauren questioned. Nick nodded. “Well… it’s weird to describe at first. It’s like… I can’t see, but I can feel. Feel things happening to me. Like I’m being poked and prodded - or… or even made, y’know?” she paused as she adjusted, leaning close to him. “Then it’s like I can’t breathe - like I’m being drowned.”

“Sounds ominous,” Nick said.

“Yeah,” Lauren whispered, gripping Nick’s coat. “I sit up, and I’m cold and wet and in this weird, clean place. Like, cleaner than anywhere in the Commonwealth. I’d dare say it’s as clean as the world was before the war, but that’s not the point,” she sighed and looked down. “There’s someone looking at me, and… it’s like I don’t even know what I am. He holds out his hand and I just stare before I take it - like my body is being told what to do.

“Then I’m pulled up and I’m not wearing anything - which I should be embarrassed about, but in the dream, I’m not,” she pulled away from him briefly to zip up her vault suit. “The people are talking - I can’t… I can’t remember what they say, but they’re talking about me. Then they lead me through these corridors and even more, people are there - staring.

“We walk to someplace new and I see this… you know those pods Doc Amari has? They’re like that, only fancier. And there’s a woman inside a pod, all hooked up to wires and tubes, and God Nick…” Lauren paused and stared at him. “That woman was dying. I’m led to a pod, like the one she’s in - and I see my reflection.”

“And?” Nick asked as Lauren paused and looked away, balling her hands into fists against him. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s just a dream.”

“I know, but… Nick, the reflection, the dying woman… they were both me,” she said, pounding her hand against her chest in distress. “It’s stupid but I keep having it over and over and _over_. I’m sick of it,” she said, burying her face in his coat. “Your coat smells gross.”

“Well, that’s what happens when you traipse after some girl trying to help every poor soul in the Commonwealth,” Nick replied good-naturedly, rubbing soothing circles into Lauren’s back. “Why don’t you try to get some sleep? I’ll keep an eye on this storm - when it blows over and you feel better, we’ll keep going, deal?”

“Deal,” Lauren said after a moment. “But I’m staying right here.” she continued, setting her head against his shoulder. “‘Cause you’re warm and I’m comfortable.”

“That’s fine by me, doll,” Nick chuckled as she closed her eyes. With his free hand, he reached up and removed her glasses from her face, tucking them into his pocket as she leant on him. Lauren deserved so much more than what this world had given - and taken away - from her. “Hey, Lauren, I… uh…” he cleared his throat as he stubbed his cigarette out on the wall. Lauren opened her eyes and looked up at him. “We’re gonna find Virgil, and then we’re gonna find your boy.”

“I knew I could count on you,” Lauren whispered softly, closing her eyes and settling again. Nick cursed himself internally - he couldn’t tell her how he felt about her, not when she had so much on her plate. She needed him at his best - even if it meant withholding things from her. He didn’t want to change their friendship - after all, how could a girl like her love a synth like him when there were other flesh and bone people running around? 

The worst of the radstorm took two hours to blow over. They had lost two hours of daylight, two hours worth of travel time, but the less Lauren was exposed to serious radiation, the better. When they were suited up, they set off once more, with Lauren safe inside her power armour.

The sun broke through the green tinted clouds as best it could, but they had to rely on Lauren’s spotlight to guide them through the radioactive mist. For the most part, Lauren did her best to guide them both away from danger, spotting it before it became a threat or noticed them and skirting around it.

They weren’t counting on being hunted.

Nick was the first to realise something was off. He knew he should have got a detection calibration before they left, but he could almost feel the predatory eyes pressing into the back of his neck. Maybe he was paranoid, maybe his detection system was on the fritz, but he _felt_ something in his synthetic and not actually there gut.

By the time Nick actually realised he should bring it up, it was too late. A deathclaw sprinted straight past him on all fours before slamming straight into Lauren. Her power armour provided defence against arms fire and smaller animals, but a deathclaw could - and would - tear right through it until she was dead.

“FUCK!” Lauren shouted as she and the deathclaw tumbled forward. Her gun flew from her grasp and disappeared into the fog, and the deathclaw had her pinned down, unable to reach for a second weapon. Nick fired off a few shots of his laser gun, but they pinged off of the beast’s armoured skin. “Nick!” Lauren’s desperate plea as the deathclaw lifted her clean off the ground reached him and he dropped his laser gun, pulling out his small pistol instead.

“Hey, you big stupid lizard!” Nick yelled, unloading his pistol’s entire chamber before the creature even looked his way. It’s beady eyes stared him down as it sniffed the air, giving Lauren at least some respite before it probably killed them both. Reloading as quickly as he could - for once he was grateful he was a synth and didn’t get shaking hands when he was scared shitless - before firing all six shots again. The deathclaw roared as one bullet struck it in the belly, sending dark, thick blood spilling onto the floor. Nick tore his eyes from the deathclaw for a brief moment to see Lauren lying still on the floor. Was he too late?

The deathclaw didn’t give him time to reload again. It charged, much as it had done towards Lauren, lifting him clean off the ground and sending him flying. He landed roughly, his gun still tight it his hand. He’d dropped a couple bullets in the fall but managed to load two into the pistol before he fired again.

The deathclaw was struck in the shoulder and neck, but the skin was thick enough that it barely did anything. This was it, the end of Nick Valentine - the second time around. Nick leant as far back as he could as the deathclaw reared it’s head, ready to use him for a chew toy before its head exploded and showered him in blood.

Nick rolled to the side as the deathclaw’s body fell to the ground. Lauren was on one knee, a gauss rifle in her hand. The visor of her power armour was cracked open and he could see the rage in her eyes before she slowly stood up, shaking in the power armour despite herself. She strode over and held a hand out to Nick.

“Where the hell were you hiding that thing?” Nick asked as Lauren pulled him up.

“You can’t expect a lady to tell you all her secrets, Valentine,” Lauren replied shakily. “That bastard came out of nowhere. Wasn’t even on the tracker on my helmet!” she threw up her arms in annoyance. “Not that it’s much good anymore. So much for trying to keep me outta the rads, huh?” she grumbled. “Are you alright? I thought it had killed you for sure.”

“I’m fine,” Nick waved his skeletal hand dismissively. “What about you? That thing bowled you over like you were nothing,” he said, looking her armour over. Plenty more bangs and scrapes for her and Sturges to try and buff out.

“My back hurts like the clappers,” Lauren replied as she picked up Nick’s laser gun and handed it to him. “Where the fuck’s me other gun gone?” she hissed, attaching the gauss rifle to her leg and looking around. “The bloody light’s broken on this thing. Typical, huh?”

“It went over this way,” Nick said, pointing to where he thought her gun slipped to. Lauren walked over gingerly and he watched her silhouette lean down and pick up the weapon before she walked over. “Let’s try and avoid the rest of the deathclaws, huh?”

“You fucking betcha,” Lauren replied, sighing loudly before they set off.


	4. Into the Unknown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing like traipsing across the Commonwealth for a big green dude just so you can kill another dude and build some shit that you're not sure is gonna not turn you into a pile of blue goo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to rewrite this whole chapter cause my dumb ass thought Virgil gives you the plans straight away, smh.
> 
> Enjoy.

Virgil wasn’t what they had been expecting. The Children of Atom squatting in the crater had neglected to mention that he was a _Super Mutant_. Out of instinct Lauren had very nearly open fire until he had turned around and spoke as if he was any other person. He didn’t want to trust them at first - who could blame him? Chased to the ass end of the Commonwealth by the Institute for trying to take a stand, and forcing him to infect himself with the FEV.

He refused to hand off his chicken scratch plans to Lauren until she had killed a Courser and obtained a chip from the. The journey home was quieter on than the journey to the Glowing Sea - both in terms of conversation and anything trying to make a nice meal out of them. When they finally made it home, Nick insisted Lauren sit down for a damn minute and get some RadAway in her system. Her Pip-Boy’s screen lit the room up as darkness fell outside, and Nick sat with Lauren as she quietly stared out into space, a needle feeding RadAway into her arm.

She had fallen asleep on him, much like she had in that bunker in the Glowing Sea. Nick was happy to sit there and let her - the nights in the Commonwealth were cold and he was practically a walking heater. Some of Sanctuary’s other residents tried to pop in and catch the good General’s attention, only to be shooed away by Nick. Lauren was exhausted and he wanted her to get a good night’s rest.

When dawn finally rose, Nick gently shook Lauren awake. “Come on, doll,” he said. “We’ve gotta start thinking about taking down a Courser.”

“Five more minutes…” she mumbled, pressing her face against his sleeve. Nick shook his head in amusement, smiling softly.

“Nope, up ya get,” he said, pushing her lightly. Lauren groaned and pulled away, rubbing at her eyes. “You sleep alright?” Nick asked.

“Think so,” Lauren yawned and stretched out with a squeak. “What time is it? Think Sturges will be up?”

“The old internal clock says it’s nearly seven,” Nick said as he stood up, joints stiff from the cold night. “April twenty-second.” he glanced over at Lauren as he spoke. She was staring at her hands.

“I’ve been here for six months,” she whispered, voice barely audible. “Nate’s been dead six months. Shaun’s been gone… six months. Jesus. It’s Shaun’s birthday today.” she swallowed hard and looked up at Nick, eyes brimming with tears. “I… Nick…”

Nick closed the space between them, pulling her up from her sitting position on the bed and embracing her tightly. He knew what it was like, waking up in this place. He hadn’t even gotten half as far as Lauren had in his first six months. Despite everything, she was a remarkable woman who had survived what the Commonwealth had thrown at her.

“Hey,” Nick said softly, holding her tightly against him. “You don’t have to say anything. You just let it all out, doll.” he continued. Lauren burst into tears, grasping his coat tightly as she sobbed against him. Nick said nothing, keeping his tight hold of her until the sobs turned into blubbers, and the blubbers turned into sniffles. When she had finally calmed, he pulled back and wiped her face with his good hand. “Better?”

“A… a bit,” she sniffed and wiped her nose with the sleeve of her vault suit before clearing her throat. “I think… we need to talk to Sturges about this thing Virgil’s gonna give us - and maybe Tinker Tom, too,” Lauren cleared her throat again, sighing. “Given the amount of parts this thing will inevitably require, we may need to put out the call to the Minutemen and the settlements, see if we can’t scrounge what this needs.”

“You just say the word,” Nick said, patting her on the shoulder. “I’ll let you get to Sturges and talk tech.” he stepped back and looked down at the wet patch on his shirt, shaking his head in amusement. “Want me to pack some things to head to the Railroad?”

“Yeah, please,” she replied, taking her glasses off and wiping at her eyes. Lauren cleaned the glasses off with a cloth before slipping them back on her nose and taking a deep breath. Nick couldn’t help but frown; she was trying to be strong, for everyone, and it was taking a toll on her. She wanted to find her son, wanted to help every poor soul in the Commonwealth to the point she didn’t take time for herself to rest. “You thinking hard over there, Nick?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah, yeah.” Nick waved a hand dismissively. “It’s gonna be hard getting you into the Institute, even with that teleportation thing.” it made sense that a place that had no known entrances would have some magic voodoo type bullshit going on to get people and out. For her sake, he wished he could remember what it was like in there, but he couldn’t remember a damn thing.

“We still gotta get a Courser chip and all,” Lauren said with a sigh, setting her hand on her hip as she looked out of the window of her shack, brows furrowed in thought. “That’s the hardest part. Virgil said to start at the old CIT ruins… so I guess we should go do that before we see Tom.”

Nick nodded, and the two of them split off. Lauren went to find Sturges (who was no doubt staring at her power armour and wondering what the hell she’d run into) and Nick sorted out supplies for their journey, setting out two backpacks and ensuring he had packed enough food and water for Lauren, and ammo for the both of them.

Nick was smoking a cigarette when Lauren walked over to him, her hair loose over her shoulders. He raised a brow - he’d only ever seen her with her hair up in some form. It was different - not unpleasant - to see her with her hair down.

“You gonna put that up?” he asked as he dropped his cigarette and stood on it.

“Hm?” Lauren blinked at him. “Oh, my hair. Yeah, give me a second.” she pulled a string of twine from her pocket, holding in between her teeth as she pulled her hair into a messy bun, tying it loosely. “Ready to go?”

“Always,” Nick smiled and handed Lauren her bag. She slung it loosely over her ragtag armour and they fell into step beside each other, guns in hand as they strolled down the road. It was almost nice, spending time like this. No raiders or wild dogs or deathclaws jumping out at them. It was peaceful this far north, peaceful enough to forget the troubles and dangers of the world.

Concord was quiet as ever. The rotting deathclaw corpse was nothing more than a pile of festering meat and bones by now, picked at by all sorts. Lauren wanted the skull - a trophy signifying her first proper victory against the Commonwealth. The first time she had walked through Concord with Nick, she had regaled the tale of how Dogmeat led her to Concord and how she fought her way through raiders to reach Preston and the four he was protecting, before scaling the roof and grabbing the power armour and fighting her first deathclaw.

“As you can imagine,” she said as she kicked a can down the road. “Of all the beasties to see - I’d seen the giant flies and cockroaches and thought, man, that’s pretty bad - but that thing!” she exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air wildly. “That was a monster! Good thing it was already injured or I would’ve been mincemeat before I made it two days out here!”

As they left the dilapidated city, Lauren tuned into the Diamond City radio. Travis was as anxious as usual, talking about Piper’s latest article and how the good Mayor was dismissing her claims that he was a synth.

“What are the chances she’s right?” Lauren asked as they passed the huge screen of the Starlight Drive-In.

“Don’t indulge her,” Nick said in an amused tone. “She’ll get more ideas.”

“Fair point,” Lauren said, stretching her arms out. “I know we’re nearly halfway there, but I would _kill_ for a working car in this day and age,” she continued as they passed a small pile up. She glanced over the vehicles and sighed. “Somehow I don’t think I could fix two-hundred odd years of rust and lack of care.”

“Well, I don’t know about that,” Nick said. “You seem to be taking care of a good few settlements and folk. That’s more than some are doing these days.”

“Well the General of the Minutemen’s gotta keep some kind of standards up,” Lauren replied, kicking a rock lazily and watching it spin off into the dry grass. “And if I don’t, who will?”

Lexington was hell, as usual. The ghouls and raiders weren’t too difficult to deal with, but a behemoth had made the old city it’s home. As soon as Nick had heard the shuffling giant footsteps he had grabbed the good General by her armour and dragged her quickly away from Lexington before she got any godawful ideas.

Though the CIT ruins weren’t in the middle of Boston, the area around it still had it’s fair share of dangers. If it wasn’t raiders, it was ghouls or wild dogs. If it wasn’t that, it was super mutants or mirelurks. Nothing they couldn’t handle together, but they were quickly eating up their ammo by the time they finally reached the ruins.

Lauren tuned her Pip-Boy to the frequency Virgil had given them, casting a quick glance over the old ruins before spurring on. With her eyes focused on her Pip-Boy, Nick watched her back and did his best to keep her out of trouble, pulling her aside and hiding around corners with her once or twice, painfully aware of the closeness of her body to his.

It took them a little while to make it to the old Greentech Genetics building. Lauren stared at it with suspicious eyes before indicating silently to Nick to follow her and to stay low. Nick dropped into a crouch beside her, following her into the building.

If they had thought this would be easy, they were wrong. The second they stepped inside they heard the gunfire, and one of the Gunners was shouting orders over the intercom in a panicked voice. He must have seen them, as he ordered half of his troops to chase the Courser, and the other half to hold Lauren and Nick back.

“You ready?” Lauren asked as she turned the safety of her gun off.

“I’d say born ready, but…” Nick grinned at her as she led the way, sticking close to her. The Gunners - as trained as they liked to claim they were - were easy. A few well-placed shots and they were in hot pursuit of the Courser, who was leaving plenty of corpses behind him.

“Let’s hope we put up more a fight than these guys did,” Lauren said, kicking the foot of a Gunner as they passed, her head burned beyond recognition by laser fire. She shuddered before carrying on, and Nick cast a cursory glance over the corpses. This Courser knew what he was doing - all the shots were in the face or chest, burning through cloth and flesh and filling the air with an acrid stench of blood and death. “Shit, turrets.”

Down the corridor, a turret was still standing. The Courser had likely managed to sneak past it - or he had a Stealth Boy. The latter was more worrying in Nick’s mind - an enemy who could vanish could easily take him and Lauren out. While he might be able to track the Courser’s heat signature, Lauren had to rely on her eyes. They would have to take the Courser out quickly.

“I got it,” Nick said to his companion, pulling a grenade from his pack. He held it out to her and she took it from it, pulling the pin with her teeth and tossing it down the corridor. Lauren grabbed Nick and pulled him back before the explosion tore through the corridor, kicking up dust and taking the sentry out. Nick blinked at Lauren - whose face was mere centimetres from his - and swallowed reflexively. “Thanks, doll.”

“I, uh…” he couldn’t help but notice her eyes flick from his own eyes to his lips. “You’re welcome,” she mumbled, letting go of his coat. Nick stood to his full height and held out his good hand, pulling Lauren up when she took it. “Let’s… keep going.” she cleared her throat and turned away from him, unable to hide the dark blush across her face.

Thankfully for the pair of them, the Courser had dealt with the rest of the Gunners besides the ones he was holding captive. Even as Lauren and Nick tried to sneak up and take him out, he called them out. It was a short conversation that ended in laser spray and gunfire. 

As Nick had predicted, the Courser was using a Stealth Boy - a goddamn _Stealth Boy_ \- and vanished in front of them. The Stealth Boy might well have hidden the Courser from Lauren’s light absorbing eyes, but Nick had his detection system. A few well-placed shots put the Courser onto his knees, disrupting the stealth field long enough for Lauren to deliver a gunshot to the head. 

They let the rest of the Gunners go. Too much blood had already been spilt, for both Lauren _and_ Nick’s tastes. The synth who called herself Jenny thanked them for their help but refused anymore - and though Lauren wasn’t happy about it, she dismissed her before leading Nick out and to the Railroad hideout.

Tinker Tom was a help with both the Courser chip and Virgil’s as yet unknown plans. It may have taken him a few hours to decode the chip - meaning Lauren could catch a well-earned nap - but it was done. 

The two of them walked home as briskly as they could, and the look on Sturges' face when Lauren told him she needed the power armour immediately was priceless.

“It’s not fixed yet!” he protested, throwing his handkerchief on the ground. “The plating on the midsection still needs reinforcing. You take another blow like that out in the Sea and you’re a dead woman walking - and that’s not even _mentionin’_ the visor.”

“If I have to go find Virgil in this stupid vault suit, then I will,” Lauren grumbled. “I’ll just have to take a little more Rad-X and Radaway.”

“If you think I’m letting ya waltz into the Glowing Sea in that thing, you’ve got another thing coming,” Nick said disapprovingly. “I’ll go on my own.”

“What?!” Lauren whipped around to face him, frowning widely. “No! It’s dangerous out there! I can’t ask you to just throw your life away like that!”

“You’re not asking,” Nick replied with a shrug. “I’m volunteering.”

“No. Absolutely _not_. I would rather have a deathclaw rugby tackle me again than watch you go off alone to the Glowing Sea,” she barked back at him, folding her arms and glaring at him. “What if you _die_ , Nick? I wouldn’t know. I… I…” Lauren frowned, looking away and scuffing her feet on the floor. “I can’t let you go on your own.”

“Doll,” Nick stepped up to her, setting his hands on her upper arms. She looked up at him, her face unreadable for a moment before she grabbed him and pulled him close. Nick, surprised by the sudden affection, returned the hug. “I can’t let ya go out there without protection. That radiation could kill you quicker than a deathclaw.”

“I’ll have my armour, my insulated suit, and if I must, I’ll put on a gas mask,” Lauren said, burying her face in his chest. “I just… can’t stand the thought of losing you, Nick.”

“The feeling’s mutual, doll,” Nick replied quietly, setting his lips against the top of her head for a moment. He cleared his throat as she pulled back and looked away. “So… you go make the necessary changes to your outfit… then we’ll talk.”

“You should know, Nicky,” Lauren said, turning to look at him as she walked away. “Some girls would misconstrue that!”

Nick blinked at her as she laughed and jogged off, standing awkwardly as he thought over his words.

“So, when’re you two gonna announce it to everyone?” Sturges asked, gently elbowing Nick in the side.

“Announce what?” Nick asked.

“Come on now, Valentine!” Sturges guffawed and slapped him on the back. “Everyone can see it. You, and her.”

“Well, you’re gonna be disappointed,” Nick replied with a gentle snort. “There’s nothing between us.”

“You keep telling yourself that,” Sturges chuckled. “And here I thought they called you ‘detective’ for a reason.” the man snorted and shook his head. “Anyway, while I’m here, you need a tune up?”

After Sturges had finished giving Nick the once over, he strolled through the rickety buildings of Sanctuary to try and find Lauren. When he eventually found her, she was with Curie - who was diligently checking over the burns on her stomach.

“Is she good to go or do ya need to keep her in overnight?” Nick joked as he took a seat. Lauren stuck her tongue out at him, and Curie turned to tut gently at him.

“Monsieur Valentine, don’t you know it’s rude to enter a room when a lady is in a state of undress?” she asked, tapping her foot lightly on the wooden floor. “But non, she is fine, from what I can see. However, I am slightly worried about the colour she is - what happened when you went to the Glowing Sea?”

“A deathclaw decided to give me a hug,” Lauren said, leaning back on the dirty bed.

“Zhat sounds very out of character for deathclaws.” Curie frowned.

“It’s sarcasm, doll,” Nick interjected, shaking his head slightly as he leant back in the chair. “Did a number on both of us. The good General here saved my life by plugging the deathclaw’s skull with her gauss rifle.”

“I wouldn’t have _had_ to if you hadn’t decided to call the deathclaw a… what was it?” Lauren looked at him.

“I believe the term I used was ‘ya big stupid lizard’.” Nick grinned.

“You two are a pair,” Curie chuckled softly, looking between the two with a sincere smile. “Where would zhe Commonwealth be without the General and her best partner?”

“Hey,” Lauren said. “You’re downplaying yourself here, Curie! It’s the General and her ragtag group of messed up and weird friends!” 

“You got that right,” Nick laughed, leaning forward as Lauren zipped her vault suit back up. “So, you got the stuff together?”

“Uh-huh!” she said. “Just follow me.” she leapt from the bed, quickly thanked Curie with a kiss on the synth’s cheek before she skipped from the room. Nick was quick to rise and follow her, weaving between the buildings until they reached her home. She slid onto the bed and pulled a box from underneath it. “Always knew that power armour might be out of commission for too long, so I got this!”

Nick peered into the box. “A hazmat suit?” he looked up at her and raised a brow. “You’re going to be a sitting duck in that thing.”

“Yeah,” Lauren sighed, running her hand over her cheek and scratching the back of her neck. “That’s where this comes in.” she pulled out another box, filled with different pieces of armour. “It’s going to be like walking in a power suit - slow as balls - but I’ll be more protected.”

“Ya do realise how mad this is?” Nick asked, standing up and frowning.

“Nick, just going _in_ to the Glowing Sea is nuts!” she exclaimed, throwing her hands up in frustration. “I have to. Sturges says the repairs to the suit could take weeks, and unless we can find another suit of power armour - complete power armour, mind you! - we’re stuck.”

“If you wear all that armour,” Nick rubbed his chin in thought. “You’ll be protected but slow.”

“Yes.”

“Go without the armour, you’ll be ripped to shreds quickly, but you’ll be quick.”

“Also yes.”

“I think we better skip the armour then - or take the lightest stuff.”

“Okay,” Lauren pulled a few pieces of armour from the box and set them on the bed, sorting through them. By the time she was finished, she had a few pieces of laminated plastic armour ready to go. She didn’t really want to put on the hazmat suit now, but it was bulky and difficult to transport, so Nick helped her get it over her vault suit before attaching the armour where he could. “God, I feel like a spaceman,” Lauren grumbled as Nick slipped the helmet and tightened the fastenings to secure it.

“Space must be a lot less inhospitable than the Glowing Sea if that’s all you need,” Nick replied as they began the journey south again. Without the power armour, they could walk faster but had to avoid more things. Whenever Nick detected something that could be in the least bit dangerous to Lauren, he’d ensure she changed direction to avoid it.

When they arrived, Virgil was pleasantly surprised that they had survived their Courser encounter, and handed over the plans for the teleporter. Lauren and Nick beat a hasty retreat out of the Glowing Sea, and as soon as they made it home, Lauren was out of the hazmat suit and off to find Sturges to talk about it.

“Does that gal never give herself a break?” Hancock asked as Nick lit up a cigarette as the little town’s lights began to flicker to life in the darkness.

“She’s something,” Nick replied, glancing at Hancock as the ghoul swallowed a few mentats. 

“How’ve ya been holding up, Valentine?” Hancock asked, stretching out and leaning on a corrugated iron wall.

“Oh, you know,” Nick shrugged as he took a smoke. “Chasin’ a fine doll across the Commonwealth, saving a few lost folk along the way. The usual.”

“You’re a lady killer, Nicky,” Hancock grinned smugly, tipping his hat. Nick rolled his eyes. “You still haven’t told her, huh?”

“I don’t plan to,” Nick said, flicking the ash from his cigarette.

“You’re a damn fool, Valentine,” Hancock said, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he began to walk away. “You don’t look a gift brahmin in the mouth!” he called over his shoulder with a wave of his hand.

“Hey, Nick,” Lauren jogged over, skidding to a stop in front of him. “What were you and Hancock talking about? Something about brahmin?”

“Yeah, something like that,” Nick said, dropping his cigarette. “So, what do you and Sturges think you need?”

“ _Way_ too much. Lots of aluminium, wiring, and steel, and some other stuff I can’t remember,” she shrugged. “Sturges is on the old ham radio we set up to talk to the Castle, see if the guys over there can’t make the call to the rest of our settlements,” she stretched out against the wall, shaking herself off. “Jeez, I’m exhausted.”

“Get some damn rest, would ya?” Nick said. Lauren chuckled.

“Alright, _mum_ ,” she said, stepping over to him and patting his cheek. “Wake me when it gets light - oh, or if someone comes with something we need!” she grinned. “I’ll see you in the morning, Nicky.”

“See you in the morning, doll.”

* * *

It took a week to get all the parts together. The settlements that Lauren had established and protected in her six months in the Commonwealth were all eager to help, sending the required things along trade lines until Nick was standing back, watching Lauren and Sturges pull together some fancy looking machine.

“You sure this is gonna work?” Sturges asked as Lauren connected the power to the reflector platform.

“Well,” Lauren said, pulling a few wires into place. “We’re gonna have to see. If I make it… well, who knows how long the Institute’ll keep me,” she glanced at Nick and gave him a reassuring smile. “Otherwise I’ll come out and say, hey, I’m not dead!”

“This is crazy,” Sturges mumbled, running a hand through his hair. “You sure you can’t talk her out of this?” he turned to look at Nick as Lauren messed around with the platform.

“I’ve tried,” Nick replied. “Just… get her in there safe.”

“I’ll sure as hell try,” Sturges called. “Okay, boss! Looks like we’re all ready to go on this end!”

“Sweet!” Lauren grinned, stepping over to the two of them. “Nick, you and Preston are in charge while I’m gone. I won’t be too long - I’ll grab Shaun and run like hell if I gotta,” her smile was infectious but it didn’t make Nick feel any better.

“You take care of yourself, doll,” Nick warned gently as she stepped onto the platform. Sturges began to twist dials and press buttons as Lauren tried to stay as still as possible. “Hey! Good luck!” he called over the hissing and the noise.

“I don’t need luck!” Lauren shouted in reply. “I’ll see you on the other side!”

Then there was a flash of light, and she was gone.

“Whoa!” Sturges leapt back from the console as it began to smoke and spit sparks at him. The reflector let out a groan before bursting and collapsing under its own weight. “Well, shit. Looks like we’re not sending in anyone after her.”

“She’ll be alright,” Nick said, mostly to himself. “She has to be.”


	5. Find The Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's always something scary about your friends being missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not happy with this one but whatever orz

To say that the General’s disappearance had sent shockwaves through the Commonwealth was an understatement.

Since that fateful day when she had stepped into the unknown with nothing more than a ‘goodbye’, it had been weeks. Weeks of no sightings, no hide nor hair of her spotted by anyone. Raiders were getting more brazen with their attacks on the settlements Lauren would normally protect, and her friends were getting worried.

Nick didn’t want to think the worse had happened, but with Preston taking on more of Lauren’s Minutemen business, it seemed everyone was thinking the same thing.

Lauren Greene was dead.

Nick refused to accept what everyone else refused to say. The only person who never seemed to bring up the fact that she could be dead was Dogmeat, and that was only because he couldn’t talk. He sat at Nick’s feet more often than not, whimpering softly until Nick gave him some attention the way Lauren always did when they came back.

The dog was getting restless, leaving Sanctuary for hours, even days at a time only to return with wounds. Dogmeat would pitifully howl for Lauren in the night until he fell asleep, leaving only Nick and the rest of the town’s guards awake, watching the horizon for signs of trouble or signs of her.

After the fifth week of walking past Lauren’s empty house, Nick was at the end of his tether. Something had to be done. Someone had to go out and look for her, and he’d do it himself. He called a meeting among those who she spent most of her time with - Hancock, Cait, Curie, Piper, Preston, Codsworth, Deacon, MacCready and Strong. 

They were sat discussing - or rather, arguing - when one of the residents said there was someone strolling up to the front gate in power armour. Nick wanted to believe it was Lauren, but he knew he couldn’t get his hopes up. It didn’t stop the others quickly rising from their seats and walking towards the front gate as quickly as they could.

Nick followed them and as they reached the gate, they let him pass. He nodded to the gate guards and the gates swung open. 

“I’ve been hearing rumours that the woman who saved my life twice over is missing,” the man removed his helmet and held it under his arm, glancing at everyone nervously. “I came to see if I could offer my assistance.”

“Paladin fuckin’ Danse,” Cait was the first to speak, staring at him warily. “Last I ‘eard, the Brotherhood had a bounty on your head - and the General’s, ‘cause of you.”

“I am aware in my part of the Brotherhood’s animosity towards General Greene,” Danse replied, holding up a hand. “But I do not have reason to believe the Brotherhood did this.”

“They didn’t,” Nick said coldly to the ex-Paladin. “She went chasing after her son into the Institute.”

“She made it inside the Institute?” Danse stared at Nick in surprise, eyes wide. “How?”

“None of your business, that’s how,” Piper called. “Nick, we need to find Lauren - I think we should all split into pairs and go looking.”

“Hm, that’s a good idea,” Nick said, turning from Danse. “Hancock, you and Curie head south towards the Glowing Sea, see if she’s hiding out there. Deacon, you and Cait head out to the south-east - there’s a settlement down that way we use sometimes to rest that doesn’t have anyone living there.”

“I’ll go with Codsworth to the Castle,” Preston said. “I know they would have told us she was there if she was, but she might turn up.”

“Strong will go with small woman!” Strong announced, grasping Piper by the shoulder.

“Alright, big guy,” she said, pushing his enormous hand off. “We’ll head into Boston. Plenty places to hide there.”

“MacCready, you all right staying here in case she shows up?” Nick asked. MacCready nodded. “All right, I’ll be taking Dogmeat.”

“Valentine,” Danse cleared his throat. “I know we have had our… disagreements in the past, but I would like to accompany you.”

“Disagreements?” Nick raised a brow as he turned to Danse. “That’s putting it lightly.”

“I’m not doing this for you - I owe General Greene my life. If helping to find her can somehow repay my debt to her, then I want to come along.” Danse said as the pairs split off to grab supplies. Nick pinched the bridge of his nose with his skeletal hand before waving it dismissively.

“Fine,” he said. “But if I hear a peep of you complaining about synths, you can head straight back to the bunker you crawled out of.”

“Understood,” Danse said. “I am ready to mobilise. I will wait here until you return.”

Nick sighed as he turned to grab his weapons. Of course, he had to get saddled with Danse. The Brotherhood wouldn’t hesitate to fire upon them if they were spotted. He could already hear Lauren chastising him.

“He’s trying, Nick,” she’d say, looking at him disapprovingly. “He’s had his whole world turned upside down - just like you did! He found out he’s not who he thought he was, and he’s still got all that hatred for synths because of what the Brotherhood taught him,” she would tut and turn away from him, shaking her head. “I thought you would understand.”

“Oh, I understand alright,” Nick said to himself with a sigh. “I understand that Danse is trouble all wrapped up in power armour.”

A wet nose pressed against his good hand and Nick looked down. Dogmeat licked his hand and pawed at his jacket with a soft _boof_.

“You always know what to say, Dogmeat.” Nick smiled and scratched behind the dog’s ear as he got to his feet, tucking his pistol into its holster and grabbing Old Faithful. Dogmeat was at his heels as he walked out to meet Danse, standing diligently at the front gate.

“Do you have any idea where she might be?” Danse asked.

“No,” Nick replied as he began to cross the bridge. Dogmeat bounded ahead, his attention caught by a stray floating feather. Danse clunked along behind Nick, his power armour shaking the rickety bridge. “If I did, I would have found her by now.”

“Is there any chance we could use that device to teleport into the Institute and find her?” Danse asked as he placed his helmet on his head and took a hold of his laser rifle.

“No, Sturges says the whole thing’s out,” Nick sighed. “Besides, even if we tried the Institute probably knows how we hijacked their system and has fixed it.”

“Do… do you think there is a possibility she’s being held hostage?”

“I think so, yes,” Nick said as they passed by the old truck stop and headed towards Concord. The possibility that Lauren was never coming back because the Institute wouldn’t let her was a very real and distinct one. “I was going to use the Railroad to see if she’d sent any messages up through that Patriot guy she was ordered to find, but they might not like to see you.”

“The feeling would be mutual,” Danse replied coldly, glancing up at the crashed vertibird. “Especially if they were the ones that… made me what I am.”

“No, you made you what you are. The Railroad only made you forget who you were.” Nick said as his eyes scanned the horizon as they left Concord behind them. “You chose to join the Brotherhood and hate synths. They gave you the choice.”

“I wish they hadn’t,” Danse replied. “I would have been better off not hating what I am.”

“You won’t hate yourself in time,” Nick said quietly. “It takes time, but you’ll accept who and what you are.”

“What was it like?” Danse asked. Nick glanced at him. “When you realised…” he loosely indicated at Nick’s form and the old synth rolled his eyes.

“I woke up with a head full of memories that didn’t belong to me, not knowing where the hell I was or why the hell the world was the hellhole it is,” Nick said stiffly, turning his eyes forward again. “I thought I was a flesh and bone man. It was more than just a shock.” he stopped in his tracks and turned to Danse. “What about you?”

“To know that I was what I hated… to know that I would be executed, I accepted that my fate was death,” Danse replied, looking away. “It was only because of General Greene that I made it through that day. She convinced me that I had every right to live, and the fact that I was a machine didn’t change that. She shouted Elder Maxson down and threatened to blow up the Prydwen if he tried anything.” he chuckled in amusement. “I see so far she hasn’t. Elder Maxson would be a fool to cross her.”

“Yeah, ya got that right.” Nick managed to smile as he began walking again. The rest of the journey was silent between the two synths and Dogmeat, interrupted by the usual dangers of the Commonwealth. 

They arrived at Diamond City at midday, strolling in. Danse stood out like a sore thumb, walking around uncomfortably as people stared at him. Nick asked around the city, but nobody had seen Lauren. Not even Home Plate had any indication that she’d been there. 

They swung around to Bunker Hill but the story was the same. Nobody had seen Lauren since she had last visited before she’d left for the Institute. Nick didn’t want to admit it, but he was running out of ideas.

It was on the road to Covenant that Dogmeat started to act strangely - head down, tail up as he followed a scent like his life depended on it. If Nick and Danse lagged behind, he would bark impatiently for them to catch up, before darting off as soon as they had.

“You head back to Sanctuary,” Nick ordered Danse. “See if you can’t get a shout on the radio that Dogmeat might be onto something.”

He hadn’t expected Danse to follow his orders, but the power armour clad synth nodded before heading off. Nick watched him leave until Dogmeat barked loudly at him again, bouncing around several feet ahead of him.

“Alright, alright,” Nick said, jogging to catch up with the dog. Dogmeat woofed excitedly, bumping into Nick’s knees with his rear end before he dashed off. Nick shook his head as he walked briskly to keep up with Dogmeat. He hoped he was on the scent of Lauren and not something like an old sausage factory. He trusted Dogmeat, but he knew that dogs would go for food quicker than a scavver would.

An hour of walking behind Dogmeat and the stench of burning flesh hit Nick’s nose. He grimaced as he looked up, acrid black smoke rising from where he knew a raider outpost was. Dogmeat barked impatiently and ran off ahead.

“Hey! Come back!” Nick shouted after him. Dogmeat ignored Nick and disappeared around a broken old truck. Nick prayed that it was the raiders who were burning and not some poor victims, otherwise, Dogmeat would be dead meat.

He trudged up the hill in time to see Dogmeat disappear into a shack. He paused, gun ready in case he heard a gunshot or the dog growling, but he didn’t. Instead, he heard gentle laughter.

“Hey, buddy,” Nick blinked as he listened. “I know, I’ve been gone for ages, huh? You on your own?”

Dogmeat boofed and ran out of the shack, wagging his tail as he stared into it and barked again. Nick stood where he was, staring at the shack door as a woman stepped out.

“Lauren?” Nick said in disbelief, staring at her as she turned to him. She looked… not as bad as he thought. Her eyes were red and puffy and she looked tired, but she was in one piece.

“Nick, I…” she opened her mouth to continue talking, but closed it and looked away ashamedly. 

“Woof!” Dogmeat bounced around Lauren, headbutting her towards Nick before he ran over to the old synth, tugging on his coat to drag him closer.

“Alright, you,” Nick said, stepping forward until he was close enough to Lauren to touch her. Her hands were balled into fists and she was staring at the ground. Nick hesitated before he reached out, cupping her chin with his hand. “Hey… look at me, doll.”

“I don’t want to,” Lauren whispered.

“Please.” Nick murmured.

Lauren lifted her brown eyes to him. Her face was tear stained and her eyes bloodshot. Her lip quivered as she looked at him before she closed the distance between them, laying her head on his chest and sobbing softly. Nick wrapped his arms around her, holding her close and setting his chin on her head.

“It’s okay,” Nick whispered. “I’m here.”

Dogmeat whimpered softly and lay at Lauren’s feet. Nick gently took her hand and led her into the shack, sitting her down on the bed and sitting next to her. Dogmeat trotted in, laying his head on Lauren’s lap.

“It was for nothing, Nicky,” Lauren managed to hiccup, wiping her nose with her sleeve. “Everything we thought we knew was a damn lie.”

“Hey, hey,” Nick rubbed her back as she began to tear up again. “Easy now, doll. Tell me what happened in there. You were gone for weeks. Where’s your boy?”

“Shaun, he’s… he’s…” that triggered the waterworks again and Lauren began to cry into her hands. “He’s a monster, Nick! A god damn monster!”

“Whoa, that little kid?” Nick frowned. “What do you mean?”

“That little kid, God, Nick… that was a synth! Father created him to lure me to the Institute - just because he could!” she exclaimed, balling her fists and shaking them. “He showed me, my little boy, then he snatched him away again, and then he… God, Nick…” she looked at him and Nick felt his synthetic heartbreak at the utterly dejected look in her eyes. “This man walked in, said something about a reset protocol, and the kid just… shut down. He has Nate’s eyes, God, he even styles his hair the same way”

“Who did? The synth kid?”

“No, Nicky… Father. _Father_ is Shaun. My baby is a sixty-year-old man, Nick. The Director of the old boogeyman himself.”

“He’s… the head of the Institute?” Nick frowned. “I’m so sorry, doll.”

“They… they took him because they needed ‘pure’ DNA - unaffected by the bombs. Jesus, Nick - he called Nate collateral damage! He called the death of his father an unfortunate accident! Like he didn’t even care!” Lauren threw her hands in the air before setting them on Dogmeat’s head and squishing the dog’s cheeks. “Then he made me traipse around the Institute to see the ‘good’ they were doing…” she paused and frowned. “And I watched them create synths like it… was nothing.”

“Those synths gotta come from somewhere,” Nick said.

“I know, I know,” Lauren replied, sighing heavily. “I just… as soon as they let me out, I knew I needed somewhere to be alone. I remember the folks at Tenpines mentioning this place. I’d been meaning to clear it out sooner and set it up but… I’m glad I didn’t.”

“What… what are you gonna do now?” Nick asked, not sure if he wanted to hear the answer. Lauren paused and stared at the shack wall, taking Nick’s hand and lacing her fingers through his.

“I need to find a way to stop them. The Institute,” she said. “I’ll help the Railroad until we have what we need. Or maybe something will happen and the Minutemen will be the key.” she sighed and leant against him. “For now I just… want to sleep.” she looked at him. “Stay with me?”

“Always, doll.”


	6. Those Dreams Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are a funny thing, aren't they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really need to stop writing at 1 in the morning.

Nick laid beside Lauren all night as she got a fitful, restless sleep. Dogmeat lay beside the bed, head poking up every time Lauren moved and began to cry. Nick held her tight until she cried herself back to sleep, wishing that there was more he could do.

The sun had been up for a few hours by the time Lauren rose and left Nick’s side. Nick sat up on the bed and watched her as she walked out of the shack and sat down on the dry ground, staring up as rain began to patter across the land.

Nick stepped out and joined her, sitting beside her. “You doing alright, doll?”

“I don’t know,” she replied softly, looking at her hands. “Everything I was chasing for… it was a lie. I was just some… experiment.”

“Hey,” he said, putting his good hand on hers and giving it a gentle but reassuring squeeze. “You’re not just an experiment. You’re a heck of a dame. You’ve saved countless lives over and over, without so much as asking for anything in return. You’re the best damn thing that’s ever happened to this place.”

“You think?” Lauren glanced at him and managed to smile before she looked up at the sky. The raindrops trickled down her face and she closed her eyes. “Nate would be holding up so much better than I am. He would’ve just… hell, I don’t know. I don’t even know if I really knew him.”

“Ya married the guy, didn’t you?” Nick asked. Lauren shrugged.

“Sure, but that’s cause I needed a way to stay in the US. Nate was just… he was a fling for me. A cute boy in uniform,” Lauren scrunched up her face in disgust. “And I used him. I thought when I got pregnant it’d change, that I’d really love him, but... “ she reached into her vault suit and tugged the necklace from her neck, holding it in front of her. A wedding band shone in what little light there was, and she frowned at it. “I can’t… I can’t do it.”

She set the band on the floor in front of her and stared at it as if willing for it to disappear. She buried her face into her hands and sighed.

“Nick…” she glanced at him, swallowing. “I… I’ve been having those dreams again.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Nick said, pulling her close. “Dreams are just dreams, right?”

“I don’t know,” she whispered in reply as she leant against him. “I realised something… that place I’m in. It was… the room where they make synths. Even down to the stupid fucking… red pool I come out of.” she balled her hands into fists and glared at them. “I can’t… all the rumours of people who’ve been replaced by synths, I-.”

“Hey now,” Nick interrupted her and set his head on hers. “Don’t you start thinking like that, doll. You’re a flesh and blood human, no matter what people say about you, ya hear?” he said, sighing softly. “We should get outta this rain.”

“No, we should head back to Sanctuary,” Lauren replied quietly. Nick grabbed the wedding band she had abandoned and shoved it in his pocket before he got to his feet and helped Lauren up. She avoided eye contact, keeping her eyes looking down as she walked back to the shack to grab her things. Dogmeat quietly followed her out and Nick watched her as she started to walk down the dirt path home.

She didn’t talk much. Even when a wild dog sank its teeth into her thigh and Nick wrapped her wounds up tight. Even when the gaggle of her friends swept out to meet her as they walked up to Sanctuary’s gates. She ignored everyone and walked straight to her shack, slamming the door shut and clicking the lock shut.

It took a little while for everyone to go back to their duties. Some were more upset at being snuffed than others, but they left Lauren be. Nick stood on his watch tower, throwing the occasional look back at Lauren’s shack. Her light was off and it was silent - no hum of the radio, no sound of her talking to someone who needed her help.

Nick furrowed his brows. She’d been in there for hours and hadn’t come out. He wasn’t going to let her sit in there and wallow in her sorrows forever - but he couldn’t pick locks.

He abandoned his post and walked through Sanctuary, keeping his yellow optics peeled. He heard cheering near the marketplace and followed the noise. Cait was duking it out with some scrap of a lad, and the townsfolk were out cheering them on.

“Alright, I think the kid’s had enough Cait,” Nick said, stepping through the crowd as the lad was thrown into the dirt. Cait turned to glare at him but stepped back, allowing the boy to scarper off. “Back to work, folks. Show’s over.”

“Ya just had to ruin it fer us all, din’t ya gumshoes?” Cait said, spitting blood onto the old pavement. “The fuck d’you want?”

“I… hate to admit it, but I need your help.” Nick said.

“Oh! Oh! The high and mighty Nicky Valentine needs the help of a cage fighter!” she announced as if trying to tell the whole town.

“Keep your voice down,” Nick sighed. “It’s something sensitive. Maybe not entirely legal.”

“Ohoho, Nicky,” Cait grinned wildly. “What trouble have ya gotten yerself into?”

“Oh no, not trouble,” Nick said. “I need a master lock-picker, and my go to is currently… well, behind the lock I want picking.”

“Oh. Oh shit, you want me to pick the boss’s cabin?” Cait blinked at him. “Jesus, Nicky. Are you nuts?”

“I’m a synth. I’ve got a few here and there.”

“Oh, har-har,” Cait rolled her eyes. “Alright, but if she catches me, it’s on your head. Wait ‘ere.” Cait said, slipping past him and into the maze of buildings. Two minutes later, she reappeared. “Job’s done. Where’s me pay?”

“I never said anything about pay, but,” Nick rifled through his pockets, pulling out a couple caps and a pack of cigarettes. “Don’t say I never do anything for you, Cait.”

“Yeah yeah, beat it, Nicky.” Cait said, pushing him away before she disappeared around one of the old buildings. Nick felt his coolant pump around a little quicker as he walked through the town towards Lauren’s shack.

He hesitated outside the door, taking ahold of the handle before he pressed on anyway, turning it and stepping in. He blinked as his eyes adjusted to the darkness, their yellow glow spreading across the room as he shut the door behind him.

“Doll?” he called out quietly, glancing around the room. “It’s me.”

“Go away.”

“I, uh… thought you might need some company.”

“ _Go away_.” she repeated. Nick sighed.

“You and I both know I’m not gonna do that, doll.”

“Please, Nicky,” he could hear the quaking in her voice. “Please, just leave me alone.”

“Doll,” Nick made his way through the darkness until he found her bed. Lauren was curled up in it, grasping a teddy bear tightly, her back to him. “Talk to me,” he said as he sat gingerly beside her, setting a hand on her side. She flinched and somehow curled tighter, taking a deep, shaking breath.

“Sixty years. They left me frozen like a fucking icicle for sixty. Fucking. Years,” she sobbed, turning towards him. “I didn’t see him grow up. Didn’t see him take his first steps, say his first words. They stole my baby and then my baby…” she sobbed again and threw her arms around him, crying into his shoulder.

“It’s alright,” Nick whispered soothingly, holding her shaking form against him. “I got you, I got you.”

“I don’t feel like anything’s _real_ anymore, Nick,” Lauren murmured through her tears, calming somewhat. “I feel like I’m in a fever dream. Nothing makes sense. Everything feels like… like it’s a lie.”

“It’s not, I promise ya,” Nick said softly, kissing the top of her head. “Just focus on the sound of my voice, or the sound of my coolant system, alright? I’m not going anywhere.”

Lauren said nothing more for a good hour. Nick remained still, holding her tightly as her breathing slowed and relaxed. When she finally did move back, her dark brown eyes glanced across his face before they locked with his.

“God, what would I do without you, Nicky?” she asked.

“I reckon you’d do just fine,” Nick said, reaching out with his skeletal hand and pushing her hair back. “You’re a strong gal.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, circuit board,” she said, lightly pushing his shoulder. “You’re my best friend.”

“Best friend, huh?” he managed to smile at that. “I think I can perform my new duties admirably.”

“Nothing new about ‘em,” Lauren chuckled as she wiped at her face. “You’ve been my best friend since you agreed to help find my… yeah.” she cleared her throat and looked away. “I suppose… I better go gather the troops.”

“There’s also someone around you haven’t seen in awhile. Insisted on following me like the lost, power armoured puppy he is.” Nick said as he stood, joints stiff.

“Wait, Danse?” Lauren jumped up from the bed, nearly tripping over herself as she pulled on her boots. “Holy shit, okay, uh… I haven’t seen him in a while, gotta… act casual.”

“Casual? Have you _ever_ acted casual?” Nick asked as they both stepped out of her house.

“Oh, no, never in my life!” Lauren giggled. “Meet me in the, uh… what did Deacon call it?”

“The Make Love Not War Shack,” Nick replied. “I’ll drag anyone I see as I go. Don’t be too late now, doll.”

“You know me,” she grinned at him. “I’m perfectly punctual when I need to be!”

She wasn’t. Everyone had gathered in the shack and had been stood quietly discussing events for ten minutes when Lauren arrived, flustered with Danse right behind her.

“Sorry,” she said as she slipped in between Nick and Hancock. “We, uh, got carried away catching up.”

“Catching up?” Cait snorted. “Is that what yer calling it?”

Nick felt himself rankle at the idea. He hoped Lauren was flustered only because she had realised the time and had come running, not because of Danse. He cleared his throat and all eyes turned to him.

“Can we address the matter on the table?” he asked.

“Oh! Oh, right, that’s me,” Lauren fumbled for a moment before she glanced over the old map. “Okay, so, the old CIT ruins are here. The Institute is for certain under there, and yes, the rumours are true - I’ve been there, done that, got the t-shirt,” she said. “Do you have any questions?”

All at once the same question was asked in a number of ways. Everyone wanted to know about Shaun. Lauren paled, looking down.

“That… that’s all under wraps now, file it away, never ask about it again.” she ordered simply, rubbing her neck with her hand. “Anyway, clue me in. How’s everything been doing since I’ve been gone?”

Nick zoned out as Preston began to rally off settlement news. A couple in Hangman’s Alley had had their baby and were naming it after Lauren. Sunshine’s Tidings had had another run-in with the raiders but hadn’t lost anyone this time. Someone down at Starlight was trying to fiddle with the old projection system to get it working again. All in all, the Commonwealth had managed to not fall without the hand holding of the General.

The rest of the meeting was talking about getting things set up - protecting the trading routes, setting up more sentry turrets and ensuring that escaping synths had somewhere safe to stay in Jamaica Plain. More boring stuff that Lauren definitely didn’t need everyone for.

Lauren finally called the meeting off and Nick stalked off for a smoke, leaning on a shack wall as he took a deep drag of his cigarette. He turned as he heard shuffling footsteps behind him. Lauren was stood staring at him, her hands fidgeting in front of her.

“Hey, you… okay?” she asked.

“Sure.” Nick replied, taking another drag. “How’s Danse?”

“He, uh… he’s good!” Lauren said. “He told me you had his back when you were looking for me. Didn’t think you’d go along with him.”

“Well, a little voice told me to.” Nick replied.

“Hey, are you sure you’re okay?” Lauren asked, stepping up to him.

“Yeah, just… what Cait said about you and Danse… ‘catching up’.” Nick shrugged.

“What?” Lauren guffawed. “Jesus, Nick! You don’t think? Fuck, no! We were up at the bloody Vault! He wanted to get a proper look at Sanctuary and then I realised the time and we bombed it down the hill,” she snorted and shook her head in amusement. “You know how I am with running anywhere.”

“Yeah, ya run like a damn disgrace,” Nick chuckled, relief filling his system. He knew she wouldn’t choose Danse - hoped she wouldn’t - but it made him feel better. “Speaking of making sure our better half is alright - how about you? You’re certainly doing better than you were earlier.”

“Yeah, I’m okay now,” Lauren said with a deep sigh. “Things are gonna be hard for a while, but you know me,” she smiled as she touched her fist to his arm. “I’ll be alright.”

“Oh, hey, there you two lovebirds are!” they both turned to see Hancock. “You folks tuned into the radio lately? Someone’s trying to get a hold of you.”

“Jeez, Hancock,” Lauren said. “You ruined a totally romantic moment.” she teased. 

“Hancock, king of bad timing!” Hancock proclaimed. “But seriously - Ellie sounds pretty desperate.”

“Alright, alright,” Lauren waved him off and spun the dial on her Pip-Boy. “Oh look, you have a radio frequency?” she glanced up at Nick. “Since when?”

“Huh,” Nick said as he glanced at the Pip-Boy screen. There it was - Valentine’s Detective Agency Radio. “Maybe Ellie asked Travis to help her set one up?”

“Maybe,” Lauren replied, pressing a button on her Pip-Boy. “Let’s give it a listen.”

“This is Ellie Perkins from Valentine Detective Agency, with a message for Nick's partner, Lauren Greene,” the tinny voice paused and sighed softly. “We got a new case and it sounds urgent. Stop by the office, I'll be waiting. Setting this to repeat.”

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Nick said, removing his hat briefly so he could run a hand over his head as Ellie’s message replayed. “I’m not gonna force you to come with me, but-”

“We should go,” Lauren interrupted him, turning the radio off. “If it’s urgent, we should go.”

“But, what about-!” Lauren placed a finger on Nick’s lips and he blinked at her.

“We’re going,” she said defiantly. “So let’s go.”


	7. To The North

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The calls comes in, and Nick and Lauren go to see what's going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Turns out writing a chapter a day at midnight is enough to burn me out, so if this is... bad, that's why.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Ellie said as Nick and Lauren stepped through the threshold of the agency. “We got a new case while you and Nick were out. Ready to put on the detective hat?” she asked, flashing a smile at Nick.

“You betcha.” Lauren grinned, leaning on Ellie’s desk. “Who’s our client?”

“A fisherman whose family lives on the edge of the Commonwealth,” Ellie glanced down at her papers briefly. “Uh, Kenji Nakano.”

“Nakano. Huh, that name takes me back,” Nick leaned on the door frame in thought. “Hmm… My memory’s a little fuzzy on the details, though.”

“Maybe if you bothered writing things down, Nick.” Ellie shook her head in amusement.

“Can’t do that,” he replied slyly. “Wouldn’t want to put you out of a job.”

“Huh,” Ellie snorted softly. “I’ll remember that next time you need me to console a hysterical client.” she turned back to Lauren. “Anyway, mister Nakano didn’t leave many details. Said he’d go over everything when you meet him,” Ellie paused and frowned softly. “But, if you want my guess? Missing person case. Guy had a worried look a mile long.”

“Alright, thanks, Ellie,” Lauren said. “We better start heading off - where’s the Nakano place?”

“Up in the Northeast, near the coast. A small fishing house - he said that he and his wife will be waiting for you.”

“It’s a long walk,” Nick chuckled as he straightened up. “That’s how the hard cases always start.”

“We best not keep the Nakanos waiting then,” Lauren said. “We’ll let you know if something turns up, Ellie. See you in a couple of weeks, probably.”

“Don’t be a stranger - either of you!” Ellie called after them as they stepped out into Diamond City.

“Missing person, huh?” Lauren said, stuffing her hands in her pockets. “I’d say I think I’ve had my fair share of missing people, but I’m not gonna make you traipse all the way to the north on your own.”

“I’ll be glad to have your company,” Nick said softly, indicating down the narrow alley. “So, ladies first?”

Lauren shook her head and stuck her tongue out at him as she stepped out, stretching as she did. Nick cast his eyes over her as she did, taking in her curves. 

She had changed since he had first met her. The terrified housewife who had broken him out of the vault was long gone. Sure, mirelurks still scared the pants off of her and she still cried silently whenever they passed by a school or a nursery, and her nimble fingers would always grab any toys they came across, but she wasn’t a soft girl anymore.

“Stare a bit longer, Valentine,” she said, glancing at him over her shoulder. “It’ll last longer.”

Nick cleared his throat awkwardly as he looked away. Had he been a human, his cheeks would have been burning. Lauren knew exactly what she did to him, and yet she carried on without a second thought. God, he adored her - how could he ever tell her? A gal like her deserved a flesh and bones human (or third gen synth, for that matter), not a rusted bucket of bolts.

“Come on, detective,” Lauren said, turning to him expectantly. “Are you gonna sit there staring all day, or are we gonna get on the road.”

“Sure, sure,” Nick said, following her. “Can you blame me for staring, though? That vault suit doesn’t leave much to the imagination.”

“Yeah,” Lauren huffed as they walked through Diamond City together. “You and every damn Commonwealth resident has noticed,” she sighed, setting a hand on her hip lazily as they strode through the market. “If one more damn scavver says ‘nice ass, love’, I’m going to lose my shit.”

“Next time someone tries it,” Nick said as they strolled up the stairs. “How ‘bout I give them a talking to for you?”

“A talking to?” Lauren snorted softly as she looked at him. “You sure that’s wise?”

“Come on, doll,” Nick grinned. “This old mug? Scary enough by itself.”

“Oh, sod off,” she pressed her hand against his shoulder and pushed him lightly. “ _I_ like your face.”

“Missing cheeks and all?” Nick grinned cheekily and Lauren rolled her eyes at him as Diamond City was left behind them. 

“You’re a dick, Nick.” Lauren grumbled in annoyance.

“You know you love me.” Nick chuckled.

“I’m seriously regretting breaking your ass out of that vault,” she said good-naturedly, sticking her tongue out at him. “But yes… I know I love you, even if you drive me up the wall.”

The rest of their conversation as they exited Boston was light. They didn’t want to draw attention to themselves - from super mutants or raiders alike, but as they set out on the road, Nick wanted to drill her a little more about the Institute.

“So,” Nick said nonchalantly as they walked, his hands deep in his pockets. Lauren turned to glance at him as he tried to look innocent. “You haven’t really talked all that much about the Institute… and you were pretty shaken up when you came out. You wanna talk about it some more?”

“I… don’t know,” Lauren looked away, tugging on a lock of her red hair. Her eyes cast downwards and she sighed. “It was… I don’t know. There was so much happening. So much that I just... “ she stopped walking and stared at her hands “They made me bring in a synth. A synth the Railroad had helped.”

“They made you play synth retrieval?” Nick asked, gently setting his good hand on her shoulder. Lauren placed her hand on top of it, and briefly, Nick wondered what she would do if he laced their fingers together.

“Yeah,” Lauren said softly. “They said that if synths were allowed to roam free, then they’d… do what this synth did. He became a leader of a group of raiders - out at the Libertalia, near Nordhagen?” she paused and looked to him, and Nick nodded. “I tried to reason with him, but he was just like any other raider. The… Courser. He said his… code, thing. Then they just pulled us all into the Institute like it was nothing.” she ran her hands over her hair. “They used me. They knew exactly what they were doing. They _knew_ that I was with the Railroad. They played me like a damn fiddle, Nicky…”

“How the hell did you get out?” Nick asked tentatively. Lauren closed her eyes and looked down.

“I… I just kept having to work with them,” she said. “Eventually, they allowed me free reign of their teleportation… thing.” Lauren shrugged. “They installed a thing on my Pip-Boy… I wouldn’t be surprised if they were tracking me.”

“Hey,” Nick moved to face Lauren from the front, placing his hands on her shoulders. “If any of those Institute bastards try and mess with you, I’ll have your back. You know that, right?”

“Of course I do, Nicky,” Lauren smiled at him. He noticed her hesitate, but she pulled away. “Come on. We’re burning daylight standing around out here,” she said quietly, carrying on. Nick remained in place briefly, watching her leave before he jogged to catch up with her.

“You’re not telling me the whole story, doll,” Nick said as he caught up with her. Lauren glanced at him. “You know I won’t tell a soul.”

“I know,” Lauren replied softly. “But I don’t know how to put my experience into words. It was awful in there. Full of self-righteous sons of bitches who insisted the Commonwealth was a lost cause - that the people out here, good people… that _they_ weren’t worth saving.” she balled her hands into fists and pressed her teeth together. “I had to play along. Had to make them think I was all for… whatever the fuck the Institute is. I hated every fucking moment of it.”

“You did what you had to, doll,” Nick said sympathetically. “Anyone else would have done the same.”

“I know,” she said with a sigh. “But I still hate it. I hated every moment in there.” she paused and looked up at the sky as they walked. “If I never go back, it’ll be too soon.”

“I won’t let them keep you in there if that’s what you’re worried about,” Nick said, hesitating before he took her hand in his. She looked at their linked hands before turning her face to him. “I’d tear down the Commonwealth to find you.”

“What did I ever do to deserve you as a friend?” Lauren asked softly. 

“Doll…” Nick smiled at her, reaching out with his skeletal metal hand and brushing a strand of hair from her eyes. “You didn’t do anything but treat me like you would anyone else. You…” he hesitated, opening his mouth to speak but unable to find the words. She didn’t need his declaration of love - not when she was so vulnerable. “You’re the best damn thing that’s ever happened to this Commonwealth.”

“You sure you’re not talking about you?” she replied, smiling back at him.

“Okay, you’re the second best thing,” he chuckled gently. “I kid, I kid… if not for you… I’d be a pile of scrap on Skinny Malone’s floor, and I reckon I’m not the only soul wandering around who owes you their life.” he let go of her hand and turned as they walked, looking out to the north. “The Nakanos are waiting. Let’s get a move on.”

“Then lead the way, Valentine.”


	8. In Troubled Waters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do synths dream of electric sheep?
> 
> No. No they do not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Personal headcanons, awaaaaaaay
> 
> General warning for emetophobia and drowning ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

If Lauren had been hoping to get any rest on the trip, she had another thing coming.

Barely ten minutes out of the Commonwealth and she was hunched over the side, retching and emptying the contents of her last meal into the sea, for whatever still lurked in there to feast on.

Nick sat diligently by her side - rubbing her back to make her feel better and there to keep a hold of her in case she slipped. He pulled a face as she vomited again, looking away. From what he could remember of the man before, Nick-the-human hadn’t been able to deal with vomit all that well, and he’d passed it on to Nick-the-synth. That, and it stank.

“What the hell have you been eating?” Nick asked, tucking loose strands of Lauren’s hair behind her ears as she groaned.

“Food that’s outta date by two hundred years,” she moaned, dipping her hand into the water. “Just like yours truly.”

“I wouldn’t say you’re outta date by two hundred years,” Nick said as Lauren retched and vomited again. “You’re looking pretty good for a two-hundred-year-old popsicle.”

“Oh, ha ha,” Lauren grumbled at him as she finally sat up and wiped at her mouth. “Says the two-hundred-year-old bucket of bolts.”

“Ouch,” Nick put a hand over where his heart would be. “You wound me, doll.”

Lauren stuck her tongue out at him before she looked over at the darkening horizon. She pursed her lips together and brought her knees up to her chest before she spoke. “Somewhere, a few thousand miles away… is home,” she said softly, resting her chin on her knee. “Somewhere… my family could still be alive. Could be ghouls. Could be… ferals.”

“Doll,” Nick took her hand in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “It’s probably best if you… don’t think about it.”

“I know.” Lauren replied quietly, casting her eyes downwards. “Did I ever tell you I was supposed to be at work when… well, when the bombs dropped?”

“I don’t think you did.” Nick said. Lauren laughed softly.

“Yep,” she shook her head. “I only didn’t go ‘cause Shaun was running a high fever the night before. Called up my boss and asked for the day off. He wasn’t happy about it - he muttered something about his best engineer being out on a really busy day - but he let me off.” she sniffed and wiped at her eyes. Was she crying? “I’d only started going back to work a month or so earlier. Couldn’t stand being fuckin’ cooped up in that… stupid, white picket fence place Nate had picked out.”

“You didn’t like Sanctuary Hills?” Nick asked with a raised brow. 

“Fucking… hated the place,” Lauren said with a frustrated sigh. “Where I grew up, it was cobbled streets and houses all packed together, where you knew everyone, properly. Sanctuary… you knew people, but you didn’t _know_ them. Did you know one of my neighbours was a drug dealer? Didn’t find out til after everything went to shit.” she shook her head and huffed softly. “He was probably giving Nate drugs.”

“He, uh… an addict?” Nick asked softly. Lauren glanced at him and nodded.

“When he came back from deployment, he… was a different man,” Lauren explained, staring at the ring she still wore on her finger. “He’d wake up screaming some nights. Wouldn’t fucking talk to me about it, of course… then I found the Med-X under his pillow. _My_ Med-X - the shit I had prescribed to me for pain,” she laughed coldly. “Then there was the Day Tripper… God, I must have had a screaming match with him that day. I reckon all of Sanctuary heard us. I’m surprised no one called the cops.”

“I’m… shit, doll,” Nick set his hand on her shoulder. “I don’t know what to say, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Lauren smiled softly at him. “When I found out I was pregnant… he promised he’d change. And he did. Went to rehab, got himself sorted… started seeing a therapist for his PTSD, talked about getting a job… then Shaun was born. God, Nicky… he loved that kid,” she clenched her hands into fists. “It should’ve been me. I should have died that day. He’d know what to do out here, how to adapt. I just… I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, Nicky.”

“Don’t you dare,” Nick said, gripping her shoulders tightly. Lauren looked at him with those sad eyes of hers and he steeled himself with a frown. “Don’t you dare say you should have died. I meant what I said earlier - you are the _best_ damn thing that’s ever happened to this place. To _me_ ,” he continued, staring at her, his yellow eyes lighting up the gloom that had fallen. “Don’t downplay yourself, doll. You’re a survivor.” 

With that, he pulled her close to him and held her tightly. Lauren buried her face into his shoulder and began to sob softly. Nick closed his eyes and pressed his nose into her hair. So long as he was here, he was going to make sure she’d survive. Make sure she had a reason to keep going.

“Vault-Tec and the Institute… they might have taken everything from you,” Nick said softly. “But you got me. You got Dogmeat and the Minutemen. Preston, Piper, Cait, MacCready, Deacon, Hancock, Curie, Codsworth, Danse, Strong, Ada… we ain’t ever gonna leave you, ya understand?” he pulled back and gently placed his hand under her chin, tilting her head up so he could see her face. He wiped away her tears and smiled at her. “You’re stuck with us.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, Valentine.” Lauren managed to smile back through her tears, and Nick noticed the way her eyes flicked to his lips before she looked away. “You’re my best friend… you know that, right?”

“Course I do,” Nick said as he stood up and helped Lauren to her feet. “We’re birds of a feather, two peas in a pod,” he set a hand on her shoulder and smiled at her. “I couldn’t have asked for a better partner or a better friend.”

Lauren settled back in her corner and drifted off whilst Nick stood at the controls, watching the fog roll in. Kenji had assured them that the ship - which was called the _Sulu_ \- could avoid obstacles by itself, but it didn’t make him feel any better when jagged rocks seemed to drift past the ship in the dark.

With his internal clock reading 23:57, he leaned against the wall and started to run diagnostics. His eyes dimmed as he entered the trance like state it took to do the proper stuff - the deep down stuff that would end with him lost in a sea of memories that didn’t belong to him.

Before he had met Lauren, most nights he’d end up on that street again, desperately pushing past his workmates and falling over his own feet to see a pretty little body lying on the ground. Her white blouse was stained red with blood, her dark eyes staring lifelessly ahead.

Jennifer Lands. His body tensed when he thought of her - of the woman who had loved the man whose memories he had. It felt wrong, thinking of her. Jenny had never loved Nick-the-synth, but his memories loved her.

He saw the face of Eddie Winter in the crowd - ghoulish and scarred - laughing as Nick fell to his knees beside Jenny’s body. 

“Detective Valentine,” Nick looked up. At this point, Captain Widmark would be standing accusingly in front of him, but it wasn’t Widmark. It was a woman - with red hair and bright eyes - holding her hand out. “Come on.”

“Who…” Nick began to speak, his voice catching in his throat. The stranger beckoned him to follow, and he did - leaving Jenny, Winters, and old Boston behind.

Then he was in that Vault again, Dino’s blood smeared on the glass of the overseer’s office. A flash of someone he didn’t recognise, then the door opened.

“What are you?” the stranger asked, stepping back and aiming her gun at him.

“A detective,” Nick replied dryly. “Gotta love the reverse damsel-in-distress scenario. So what does our damsel rescue the good detective for?”

“I need to find my son.”

It felt like he was falling.

Nick gasped for air - one of those old throwbacks programmed into his synth body - as he felt himself hit the water. He kicked to the surface and looked around. There was nothing but inky black water and stars as far as the eye could see.

“Lauren!” he shouted, feeling water in his internal systems. Something felt off - like he was dying. Could a synth die? 

He heard her reply - distant and desperate. Nick pressed against the water, kicking against it as it tried to pull him under. Lauren’s cries were getting weaker and it took everything Nick had in him to swim to her.

His good hand reached out to try and grab her but she was suddenly pulled under, her terrified cry the last thing he heard before she vanished under the waves. Nick was struggling to keep himself afloat - but that wouldn’t matter. If he couldn’t rescue Lauren, then what was the point?

He ducked under the waves to see Lauren reaching out for him. He grasped her hand tightly and dragged himself towards her as whatever had a hold of her pulled her further down into the dark water. Nick could feel his systems flooded with water, starting to shut down under the strain. It wasn’t until Lauren opened her mouth and let out a stream of bubbles did he finally let go.

“Nick. Nicky. Hey, talk to me, Valentine.”

Nick blinked back into reality. Lauren was standing in front of him, holding his upper arms tightly as her eyes scanned his face.

“Thank God, you were off God knows where for a good ten minutes,” Lauren stepped back and ran her hand over her head. “Don’t scare me like that, Nick! I thought something had happened!”

“I’m… I’m sorry, doll.” Nick cleared his throat as he forced down the image of Lauren drowning from his mind’s eye. “I get like that sometimes, when I run a big diagnostic. I should’ve told you.”

“I’ve seen you when you go all ‘full diagnostic’ on me, Nick,” Lauren said, leaning on the controls. “You were full on zoned out. Then you come to with eyes as wide as dinner plates, looking like you’ve seen a ghost!”

“You could say that.” Nick admitted softly. Lauren turned to him, her brows furrowed as she stared him down. She stepped in front of him and looked him over, her eyes searching his.

“You know you can talk to me, right?” she asked. Nick nodded. “You don’t have to act like… well… you’re coping. I’ll be here for you, no matter what.”

“Count on it?” Nick asked with a gentle smile.

“Count on it.”


	9. No Mainlanders Allowed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Far Harbour's hospitality sucks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you mean the people of the Commonwealth don't have baths. Scoffs. Huffs. Absolutely not.

In all his years in the Commonwealth, Nick had grown used to people being cold and unsocial towards him. The folks of Far Harbour, however, were unlike anyone he had ever met. They weren’t just cold, they outright stated that outsiders were not welcome.

“Friendly folk, huh?” Nick said in an aside to Lauren as Captain Avery chastised the man next to her.

“You’re fuckin’ tell me,” Lauren replied softly, looking over the two Far Harbour residents. “This place ain’t what it used to be.”

“So, what’re you two doing here?” Captain Avery asked.

“Looking for someone,” Lauren replied quietly. “A girl, maybe nineteen or so. She must have passed through here a week or so ago. She’s called Kasumi Nakano.”

“She did pass through here, on her way to Acadia.” Avery replied as Lee glared at Nick coldly. Both the Far Harbour natives flinched as an alarm ran through the fog. “I can tell you how to get there later - but we’re going to need your help.”

“Help?” Lee scoffed and indicated loosely at Lauren’s vault suit with his weapon. “She’s a vaultie, and it’s-” he indicated at Nick. “-a fucking bucket of bolts.”

“Oi!” Lauren interjected. “You mind your mouth and manners. You don’t see me saying you stink of fish, do you?” her eyes flashed with anger as she spoke and stepped forward.

“Enough!” Avery barked. “Mainlander, will you help us or not?”

“Yes,” Lauren said. “But don’t call me Mainlander for goodness sake. I’m not even _from_ America.”

Avery quirked a curious brow but said nothing, leading Lauren and Nick up the docks and up a flight of stairs. She warned them about what lurked in the fog and Nick tried to look through it. Not even his sensors were able to get through the fog - it must have been radioactive.

“There’s something out there!” someone shouted. Out of the fog and mist ran people, begging for the gates to be opened. Their requests were refused, and Nick glanced at Lauren to see her grasping her gauss rifle tightly.

“I’m going down there.” she said.

“Don’t.” Nick said.

She ignored him, of course, vaulting over the railing and landing outside the safety of the wall. He heard her grunt of pain as she landed, but he remained on the wall. Up here, he’d be able to protect her and get clean shots off at whatever was coming through the mist.

His sensors were straining to pick up something, but a strange beast broke through the fog. Lauren was quick off the bat, firing the gauss rifle at it and sending its brains splattering across the floor.

“What the fuck was that?!” he heard her exclaim.

“Gulpers!” one of the folks who had come through the fog explained. “There’s more! Open the gate!”

“Not until every last one of those things is dead!” Avery shouted, readying her rifle. 

Several gulpers and mirelurks later, the gate was opened. Lauren strolled in - absolutely covered in gulper guts and blood - with her gauss rifle on her shoulder.

“Nick,” she said as she made a beeline over to him. “Never ever let me fuckin’ do that again.” she rubbed the small of her back and sighed. “I’m not traipsing through that shit in the dark. I’m gonna go talk to Avery, see if there’s a place to stay on this dock.”

“You’ll need a damn good bath as well,” Nick said, wrinkling his nose. “You stink.”

“It’s my camo,” Lauren teased, sticking out her tongue. “Oh, fuck. I regret that. Augh, gulper blood tastes like fuckin’... vomit.” she pulled her water bottle from her belt and took a swig, spitting the water out. “Anyway, Avery. Be back in a minute.”

Lauren walked off to find Captain Avery as Nick leaned against a light post, pulling a cigarette from his coat and flicking his lighter. The harbourmen glanced at him as they passed, some longer than others. There was something in their eyes - mistrust, for one, but intrigue, perhaps? Not many people would ever see a synth - not like him, anyway.

“‘Ey, Valentine,” Lauren called, waving him over. “Avery says there’s a bar in town called the Last Plank where we can rent a room.”

“Anything about a bath?” Nick asked.

“She said if I greased up Mitch’s palm - whoever the fuck Mitch is - he’d run a bath for me.” Lauren shrugged. “I’m assuming that building over there is the Last Plank, so… let’s go.”

Nick followed Lauren’s lead over the dock, stepping into the Last Plank behind her. A man at the bar was calling for everyone’s attention, exclaiming that the next round of drinks was on the house.

“Nice fella,” Lauren said, glancing at Nick as they walked up to the bar. “Hi, are you Mitch?”

“I am!” Mitch exclaimed as he set two beers on the counter before he glanced at Nick. “Oh, do uh… you drink?” he raised a brow as he moved his head to try and get a better look at Nick in the gloom of the bar.

“I’ll drink for him,” Lauren grinned as she grabbed both beers. “He’s more of a scotch man.”

“Whiskey.” Nick corrected.

“Well, shit,” Mitch grinned. “Anyway, what can I do for you, Mainlander?”

“I hear this is the place to get a room for the night.” Lauren replied, leaning on the bar lazily.

“Room upstairs is ten caps,” Mitch looked her over as if he were checking her out. “But you’re not having it looking like that, Mainlander.”

“I also hear,” Lauren said, smiling softly. “That I can maybe get a bath here if I grease up your palm,” she pulled a small sack of bottlecaps from her belt and set it on the bar, grinning at Mitch. “What d’ya say, barman? This enough grease?”

Mitch narrowed his eyes at her before cautiously taking the bottlecap bag. He turned around and opened it, the caps jingling as he did. He turned back and smiled widely. “Debby!” he barked. “Mainlander here wants a bath. Be a doll and run it for her, would ya?”

“Alright Mitch,” Debby said tiredly. “Mainlander, if you’ll follow me,” she said, walking up the stairs.

“Come on, Nick.” Lauren said.

“You want me to come with you?” Nick asked as they both removed themselves from the bar. She looked at him as if to say, _well, duh_ before she followed Debby up the stairs. Nick blinked, shook his head, and followed.

“The water’s not gonna be warm, Mainlander,” Debby said as she span the taps around. “But it’s not gonna be ice, either. You can wash your clothes in it - there’s a washboard under the sink,” she pointed it out. “Soap’s in the mirror. Remember to lock the door. Some of our drunker patrons might try and muscle their way in.” she warned before leaving and closing the door behind her.

“Lucky to still have working plumbing,” Lauren said as she leaned over the side of the bath. “Eugh, it’s filthy. Is there a cloth in the mirror?” she looked over at Nick expectantly, and he opened the mirror up before tossing her the soap and a cloth. “Cheers,” she said, leaning into the bath and scrubbing furiously. Nick turned his eyes out the window. The fog seemed to roll on for miles, obscuring the horizon and even the night sky.

“You sure you want me sitting in here?” Nick asked. “I can stand outside and guard, if you want.”

“Jeez, Nicky,” Lauren looked over at him and shook her head. “It’s nothing you haven’t seen before. You’ve had to patch me up as many times as I’ve had to patch _you_ up.”

Nick sighed softly. She was right. He’d had to check for bruising across her chest when a super mutant had cracked her square in the ribs with a hammer some months back. She hadn’t wanted to expose herself to him, but she had anyway. The rest of her he’d seen on a day to day basis - cleaning up wounds, strapping up injuries, or when it became so unbearably hot for her she’d unzip her vault suit and tie the arms around her waist.

“So,” she said lazily as she began to run the bath proper, shaving pieces of soap off with a pocket knife and dropping them in. “This Acadia place… seems like it’s something the Railroad - and Institute, for that matter - would like to know about. Somewhere safe for synths… where they don’t have to erase their memories.” she frowned softly in thought. “I wish I could’ve brought H2 to Acadia. He didn’t deserve to have his identity taken from him. None of the synths did.”

“Don’t let the Railroad hear you said that,” Nick said as he sat himself down on a stool, lighting up another cigarette. “We’ve seen that it can be… problematic for some synths.”

“You mean Danse?” she glanced at him and he nodded. “God, that poor guy. Trained to hate synths, and he finds out he is one…” she dipped her fingers into the water. “Christ, that’s chilly. Oh well. Help me with my armour, would you?”

Nick stood and helped Lauren with the straps and tassels that kept her mishmash armour in place. Leather, metal, laminated plastic all came off and were carefully set on a small table. Lauren slipped her glasses from her nose and let her hair fall loose down her back. Nick found himself staring - at the freckles on her face, and how long her hair actually _was_ , before he averted his gaze as she removed her boots and vault suit.

He heard the distinct sound of a bra unclipping and had he been human (or at least gen 3), the hairs on the back of his neck would have risen. Nick swallowed as he listened to Lauren squeal as she entered the water, keeping himself occupied with his cigarette.

“Valentine,” Lauren purposefully drew out the syllables in his name and he cautiously turned. “Haha, I’m having a bubble bath. I haven’t had a bubble bath in _years_.” Nick sighed in relief (or disappointment?) at the mound of bubbles covering all but Lauren’s head. “Think you could pass me the washboard and my vault suit when I’ve done my hair?”

“Uh, course.” Nick said as she vanished under the bubbles. He felt his faked breathing hitch as he watched, remembering that awful dream he had had until Lauren came up for air. Her hair was slicked back and her face was clean - clean of dirt, blood and even the light make-up she always wore. It occurred to Nick then and there that he couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen her like that. 

“Earth to Nicky, Earth to Nicky - come in Nicky,” Lauren said expectantly. Nick blinked and she laughed giddily at him. “Washboard, please!”

“Oh, right.” Nick opened the sink cupboard and pulled out an incredibly old style washboard. “They don’t make ‘em like they used to,” he said as he passed it to Lauren. She took it and then the vault suit Nick held out before she sighed. “Something wrong, doll?”

“Nah,” she replied quietly. “Just… taking the time to enjoy this bath before it gets putrid as _hell_ ,” Lauren pulled a face. “Actually, any towels in here? Might get out and wash ‘em the old fashioned way, and not sit in grody water.”

Nick glanced around, spotting an old towel underneath the table Lauren had set her armour and glasses on. He pulled it out and turned just in time to see Lauren climbing out of the bath. He was thankful that he couldn’t blush, because he was sure he would have turned a brilliant shade of vermillion. Nick closed his eyes and held the towel out at arm’s length, his coolant system pumping just that little bit faster as he felt Lauren’s fingers on his.

It took a few minutes, but Lauren cleared her throat. Nick didn’t dare open his eyes. “Can I… uh… borrow your coat? I’m afraid I neglected to bring any spare clothes.”

“O-of course, doll.” Nick replied sheepishly, turning around and undoing the belt on his jacket before he held it back.

“Thanks, Nick,” Lauren said. “You can turn around now.”

“You know,” Nick said as he did, glad that she was covered up now. “Any other man would have taken you then and there.”

“Hm, what?” Lauren turned to him as she began scrubbing her vault suit clean. “Did you say something?”

 _Thank heaven for little miracles,_ Nick found himself thinking. “No, no. Just thinking aloud, that’s all.”

“Don’t think too hard,” she grinned cheekily at him before she turned her attention back to the bath. “Actually, can a synth think too hard? If I think too hard my brain starts hurting, or I get a headache…” she paused and looked at him. “Do you… get headaches?”

“Headaches?” Nick frowned softly, tapping his foot on the ground. “Can’t say I think I do.”

“I don’t think it would have been… advantageous for a synth to get a headache,” Lauren replied. “You feel pain, though - and that’s just sadistic, making a synthetic person feel pain.”

“Doll,” Nick said in an amused tone. “If I didn’t feel pain, I would’ve died a long time ago.”

“Mm, fair point,” Lauren hummed as she scrubbed. “But… did you feel…” she paused and made a frustrated noise. “Your face, and… your hand?”

“Yeah,” Nick replied softly, his skeletal metal fingers coming up to his frayed cheeks. “Did I ever tell you how it happened?” he looked at her and she shook her head. “The face… years ago, long before I became a detective. I was just Diamond City’s handyman. Myrna’s father… His name was Michael. Little man, short temper. He saw Myrna talking to me when I was fixing up the Fallon’s sign and attacked me.”

“What?!” Lauren exclaimed. “He just attacked you?”

“Uh-huh,” Nick said. “Wear and tear had already done a number on me and he managed to get his hands under the seam. Like a wild animal. I blanked out, and when I came to, he was being hauled off and I had about a half-dozen folks standing over me to make sure I was still working.” he shrugged. “I didn’t want to press charges, but he spent his time in the jail. Myrna started to hate synths after that. Said it was my fault her dad ended up in the slammer.”

“Nick, that’s awful, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it, doll. It was years ago. Myrna’s old man is dead and the worst she has is a sharp tongue,” he shrugged as he leaned against the sink. “Now, the hand… That was after I became a detective. I was tailing a missing girl from Goodneighbour and found her kidnapped by raiders. Me and one of them got a bit too close, and he used his shotgun on my hand.” he held out his metal hand and looked at it. “Did a number on the skin. I managed to fight my way through with my other hand, and as soon as I got to the girl she started fretting over me.”

He smiled and turned to Lauren as she dumped her armour into the bath. “I get home and she insists her dad take a look at me. He was Goodneighbour’s handyman, and we had some back and forth with him and Amari. I said I couldn’t feel a damn thing past my elbow, but I could still move it - and the skin was a damn mess. So, Doc Amari and Mr. Perkins removed it.”

“Wait, Mr. Perkins?” Lauren turned to stare at him. “As in, Ellie Perkins?”

“Her father,” Nick said. “Kid was ever so grateful for my help and begged to come work for me. Her dad didn’t want her to go, but he knew I could be a good influence on her and said she could - so long as I walked her back to Goodneighbour on weekends. I agreed, and Ellie became my assistant.”

“Huh,” Lauren smiled as she pulled her clean armour out. “That means I’ve been stealing you from Ellie to walk her home on weekends.”

“Oh,” Nick set his hands in his trouser pockets. “She doesn’t go back anymore. Her dad got stabbed by a drifter. Me and Hancock tracked him down and delivered some justice, ‘bout two years before you defrosted.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Lauren sighed as she slipped her boots on. “Gonna put my undies back on. Pity I didn’t bring any spares.” she sighed softly as she hiked her pants up her legs and slipped her bra on - all without taking his jacket off. “Can you help me carry my things to the room?”

“You don’t even have to ask,” Nick said with a smile. He grabbed her weapons and vault suit and followed her out and into the room Debby had likely pointed out to her earlier. There was a bed and a small dresser, and that was it. No seat, no table. Lauren frowned as she set her armour on the floor, taking her jumpsuit from Nick and pinning it to the curtain rail. “I’ll see if there’s a blanket in the dresser,” Nick said as she sat down on the bed. He set both of their weapons down on top of the dresser and opened a drawer. A pillow and a blanket. He pulled them both out, tossing the pillow to Lauren before walking over. “You gonna give me my coat back or?”

“Nah,” she said with a smug smile and a shake of her head. “Close’a door, would you? Don’t want any old turd coming in here in the night.”

“I wouldn’t let ‘em,” Nick assured her, but did as he was asked. Lauren laid down on the bed on her side, propping herself up with her elbow. She was staring at him. “What?”

“When was the last time you slept?” she asked innocently. Nick quirked a brow as he removed his hat and set it on the dresser. Where was she going with this?

“I’m a synth, in case you forgot,” Nick quipped. “I don’t.”

“I know, but… those really big diagnostics - that’s kinda like sleep, right?”

“Kinda,” Nick said. “Where are you going with this?”

“C’mere.” she made grabbing motions at him. Nick rolled his eyes and relented, sitting down on the rickety old bed. Lauren grinned at him. “Has it really been so long that you’ve forgotten _how_ to use a bed? C’meeeere.”

She wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled. Nick let her, kicking his shoes off and pulling his legs up. He lay down beside her, rolling over to look at her. She smiled sheepishly, a healthy blush blooming on her cheeks.

“See? Not so hard, huh?” she teased. “Gimme the blanket.” she took it from him, sitting up briefly to flick it out over the two of them before she lay down again. “Now I got a blanket and a synth who runs at… hm, I’d say a degree over human temperature - and I’m talking Celsius here, pal. None of that Fahrenheit stuff.” Lauren said, shuffling across the tiny space between them to settle next to him.

“You’re using me as a radiator,” Nick said with a good-natured scoff. “You know how to break a synth’s heart, doll.”

“Shush.” she mumbled, wriggling an arm underneath him and wrapping her arms tight around him. “Sleep time.” Nick sighed softly at her, slipping his metal hand under the pillow and resting his other hand on her side. “G’night, Nicky.”

“Goodnight, doll.”


	10. In The Mirror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the mirror, darkly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You have no idea how long it took me to find a video of Nick meeting DiMA.

Morning rolled around as it always did. Sunlight filtered through the fog and the dirty windows, filling the room with a dingy glow. Nick quietly regarded Lauren as he began to activate his systems after putting them to sleep in the night, his eyes flicking over her features. All the time they had spent together and never had they been this physically close.

She was young. Young enough to only look like she was a teenager. “I hate it,” she had said the first time he had pointed it out. “I want to look like an adult, not a baby-faced teenager.”

“I think it makes you look cute.” Hancock had cut in, cackling wildly when Lauren had chased him through Sanctuary with a boot in hand to smack him around the head. As touchy as she was about her age, Nick still couldn’t believe _how_ young she was. Early twenties, at best. She said she’d been a year out of her master’s degree when she had had Shaun - putting her at twenty-three, at least.

When they had first met, she had only one scar on her face, just above her left eyebrow. When he had asked about it, she explained that she’d fallen off a bike as a kid, headfirst into the kerb, and had proudly sported a few stitches in school the next day. She had more now - bullet holes where she hadn’t been quick enough, slashes where raiders had gotten too close, burns from traps and laser fire. Nick felt responsible for all of them - just as she did whenever he got a fresh new bullet hole.

Nick hadn’t noticed it at first, but Lauren’s eyes were open, and she was watching him. When his eyes met hers, she smiled softly and chuckled.

“Mornin’, Valentine,” she said, stretching out against him. “You been staring all morning or..?”

“A gentleman doesn’t stare, doll,” Nick replied as he pulled himself away and stood up. “Am I gonna see my coat today or have you claimed it as your own?” he asked as he slipped his weapons back into their holsters.

“Here,” he turned as Lauren threw it at him and stood in her skivvies, looking over her now dry vault suit. “Hm, doesn’t stink of guts anymore, but could be better. Oh, washing powder, I wish you were here.” she sighed as she slipped it on and did up her hair. “So, I think we should look out this Old Longfellow that Avery told us about. The sooner we make it up into Acadia, the better.”

After they had finished strapping armour and weapons back on, they made their way downstairs. A few of the patrons from the night before were still there, half lying on tables as they snored. Mitch was already up and at the bar. 

“Know where we can find Old Longfellow?” Lauren asked him as she retrieved a strip of cooked mirelurk from her belt bag.

“That’s him over there.” Mitch said, pointing to a grizzled older fellow sat near the door. “Did Avery warn you about him?”

“What, that he’s not to everyone’s tastes?” Lauren grinned dismissively. “Eh, neither am I. Come on, Nick.” she strolled over to the man as he was eating a nondescript meat of some kind, clearing her throat. “Old Longfellow?”

“That’s me,” he sounded like a fifty a day smoker. Maybe it was the fog. “Who’s asking?”

“I’m Lauren Greene, and this is Nick Valentine,” Longfellow looked up and regarded them both lazily, focusing more on Nick than he did Lauren. “We’re looking to get to Acadia and we hear you’re the guy who can get us through the fog.”

Longfellow eyed them a little more, coughing violently before he spoke. “Why? Looking to sell your toy?”

Nick felt Lauren bristle beside him, glancing at her as she clenched her fists and made a face. “No,” she said, all too calmly. “We’re looking for a runaway girl.”

“I can get you there,” Longfellow said. “But you mainlanders ought to know, it’s not just Rad-X that’ll get you through the fog,” he said gruffly, downing the last of his drink. “This ain’t no walk in the park. You need to be ready.”

“We’re ready,” Lauren said stiffly. “And that fog can’t be as bad as the Glowing Sea,” she muttered in an aside to Nick as she popped a Rad-X pill into her mouth. Longfellow stood with a grunt before he led them out of the tavern and past the gates. The corpses from the night before had been moved - probably dragged into the sea, or cut up for meat - but the bloodstains remained on the floor.

The fog was just as thick as it had been the day before. Lauren hesitated as Longfellow set off through the mist before pressing onwards, Nick at her side. Longfellow explained what the mist did to folks as they walked, weapons at the ready.

Their second encounter with the locals was unpleasant, at best. A few crazed men with meat hooks in hand, slashing wildly as they tried to get close. From their shacks hung a radstag and some poor, unfortunate soul, blood dripping onto the stone ground.

“Trappers,” Longfellow said gruffly. “That’s what the fog does to you.”

The trek up the mountain was just as unpleasant as meeting the trappers. A strange call carried on the air, and Lauren instantly grasped at Nick’s arm as Longfellow explained what it was. Fog crawlers were one thing Nick was sure he didn’t want to meet.

A pack of wolves was quickly dispatched before they came across a bedraggled woman, praising the will of Atom and cursing Far Harbour for rejecting Atom’s “gift”. Lauren and Nick stood awkwardly as the Child of Atom and Old Longfellow had a cold back and forth before they moved on.

The fog seemed to dissipate around them the higher up they climbed. The fog finally broke as they reached the peak, and Acadia came into view. The old telescope was still intact, with a fence built around it. Nick stood and looked up at it as Lauren spoke with Longfellow, watching the old man disappear back into the mist.

“Well then,” Lauren said, stepping up next to Nick as she holstered her weapon and looking up at the old observatory. "What d'ya think we'll find?"

"More synths, if the rumours are to be believed," Nick replied, lighting a cigarette and staring up at it with her. Up here, the fog didn't reach and the sky was as blue as it had been before the war. The clouds drifted across the sky, fluffy and white. "Come on then," Nick said. "Let's find Kasumi."

He followed Lauren up the stone steps and into the compound. There was no one out - possibly too early, or they didn’t think anyone would come attack them up here. Regardless, the quietness of Acadia made Nick feel… uneasy. His stomach would have been churning if he had one.

Lauren opened the door to the observatory and stepped inside. Nick paused, finishing his cigarette before putting it out on the wall and joining her. It was dark - darker than he had expected - but down the hall, he could see a figure sat in a chair. Wires spread from the chair to many large server towers, and Nick found himself curious. What were they for?

Lauren strolled up the hall like it was nothing, and Nick followed behind at a distance as the figure in the chair rose and spoke.

“You know,” that voice was uncomfortably familiar. “When I first climbed this mountain, above the fog, I thought to myself: now here is a metaphor worth taking in.” Lauren stopped in her tracks, turning briefly to stare in confusion at Nick before she turned back to the other. “You’ve entered a place of clarity. Understanding. Peace. While you’re here in Acadia, synth-kind welcomes you, as long as you welcome us. I am DiMA.”

“Wha- I- Huh?” Lauren turned back to Nick and frowned. “You… you’re a synth. I…” she cleared her throat as she turned to the stranger. “I’m looking for Kasumi.”

“Kasumi is here,” DiMA said. “She is safe, and unharmed, and you’re free to see her if you’d like,” he paused and Nick studied him. He was a synth - but not a Gen 3. This synth looked exactly like himself - but he had exposed wiring and tubes sticking out of what seemed like every spare bit of space on him. “Before you do, though, tell me: do you think Kasumi is a synth?”

“We’re not answering any more questions until you play straight with us,” Nick interrupted, stepping up beside Lauren. “Just who the hell are you, really? There’s only one synth with that kind of face and a mind of his own, and I only see him when I look in a mirror.” 

The other synth’s eyes widened as Nick stepped forward and glared at him, a hand raising to his chest. “Nick? It… it can’t be you…”

“Don’t give me that,” Nick scoffed, glancing at Lauren as she stepped back to look between the two of them. “What are you trying to pull? I’ve never seen you before in my life.”

“Please,” DiMA said. “If you’re willing to give me a chance, I can explain.”

“Is this some kind of joke?” Lauren asked, glancing at them both. “How can you know Nick?”

“Let me tell you what I know, and you can judge for yourself.” DiMA paused before he looked to Nick. “We were prototypes, Nick. The first synths capable of independent thinking and judgement.”

“Keep talking.” Nick said, his gaze hard on the other synth.

“One of the Institute’s experiments had to do with how our brains could process personality. If we could handle individualised feelings and behaviours,” DiMA explained. “I was allowed to develop mine based on experience. But with you, they wanted to try transferring an entire personality into you.” he frowned sadly. “It took several attempts before the personality imprint worked. I saw you wake up not knowing who or what you were so many times…”

“Nick, Jesus…” Lauren said, reaching out and taking his hand as DiMA paused.

“I couldn’t let them do it to you anymore. We were the only two prototypes they made. I literally saw myself in you…” DiMA frowned again. “You were my brother, Nick. I helped you escape the Institute. We left together.”

“If I were your brother, I’d remember!” Nick said through gritted teeth.

“That’s where you’d be wrong,” DiMA smiled ruefully. “This happened over a century ago. There’s… there’s only so much memory that can fit into the prototype brains we have.”

“I’ve heard enough,” Nick scoffed uncomfortably, pulling away from Lauren and distancing himself from DiMA. “I think you and me need to talk about this. Maybe not now, though,” he said to Lauren.

Lauren took his hand again and looked up at him. “Nick,” she said quietly. “Is he really your brother?”

“If he is, it’s news to me,” Nick replied with a sigh. “Can synths even be related? Just because we’re from the same assembly line, does that make us family?” Nick shook his head. “I gotta think about this.”

“Is it… is it really possible… you don’t remember any of this?” Lauren asked hesitantly, looking down.

“You mean between the Institute failsafes, the beatings I’ve taken over the years, and plain old age?” Nick shrugged. “Or are you buying this whole, ‘there’s only so much room up there’, argument? I don’t know… Not like we got the instruction manual.”

“I mean… from an engineering standpoint, it makes sense…” Lauren said quietly, glancing up at Nick over her glasses. “But, uh… we should focus on Kasumi, right?”

“Nick,” DiMA said. “I don’t need you to believe me, I’m just glad to see you again. Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here.”

“Where’s Kasumi?” Lauren asked.

“She’ll be downstairs,” DiMA replied. “You never answered my question. “Do you think Kasumi is a synth?”

“Shouldn’t matter,” Lauren replied. “She’s still a person.”

“That is true,” DiMA said. “But what about you? Are you a synth?”

“I… how would I know?” Lauren asked, looking at Nick and furrowing her brows.

“Well, what’s the first thing you remember?” DiMA asked. 

"The... the bombs. I was with my family and we ran to the Vault. They sealed us in and froze us," she furrowed her brows and turned to Nick. "I can't remember anything before. Nick, why can't I remember?"

"Sometimes, when synths minds are wiped and altered, they retain pieces of their first life - or, there are gaps in their memories," DiMA explained. "This is what Kasumi says she experienced - gaps where she could remember nothing from her childhood. Do you remember your childhood?"

Nick looked at DiMA and then to Lauren as she pursed her lips, no doubt deep in thought. "I... I know I'm from across the ocean, I'm from Britain, not America," she said. "I had a brother, and I named Shaun after him... But I can't remember him, or my parents. I can't remember where I grew up." she clenched her fists and frowned in distress.

"Doll," Nick stepped forward and put his hand on her arm. "You're getting yourself worked up."

"Nick is right," DiMA said. "There are many explanations for memory loss in humans - radiation, sickness, injury... there is no way to determine for certain if you are a human or a synth," DiMA paused. "Not one that won't kill you."

“I… I need to go talk to Kasumi.” Lauren said, turning and walking down the corridor. Nick paused, looking at DiMA. He should say something, he knew he should say _something_ , but he just turned and followed his friend.


	11. Little Errand Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As if the Commonwealth's troubles weren't enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously why you got me traipsing my ass across this godforsaken nuclear wasteland shithole for this garbage got damnit.

“Hey, Nick?” Lauren asked over her shoulder as they strolled through the fog.

“What?” Nick blinked at her. “Oh, sorry. Just got my head full of what DiMA was talking about. It’s a… bit of a shock. Do you think is he really… family?”

“Before I answer, are you doing okay?” Lauren asked.

“I’ll keep,” Nick said dismissively. “Don’t worry. Just need to figure all this out.”

“It’s… hard to deny it, Nick,” Lauren replied softly. “The similarities are strikingly obvious.”

“I spent a long time wondering if the Institute had made any other prototypes,” Nick said. “If I was just… a failure, or they gave up, or just plain got bored. I always thought I was just more of their discarded trash. Never thought of the possibility that someone wanted me out. Helped me escape.” Nick sighed and shrugged. “There’s gotta be some proof out there. What really happened between me and DiMA. I’d… appreciate it if we could keep an eye out.”

“Of course, Nick.” Lauren said, patting his shoulder and smiling softly at him. “If it’ll help you get closure.”

“Thanks,” Nick said, smiling back at her. “I know we don’t have much to go on. Just keep me in mind if you find something that might give us some answers.” he cleared his throat. “Anyway, speaking of how we’re doing, what about you?”

“What about me?” Lauren asked, looking at him with a curious brow.

“DiMA asking if you were a synth seemed to stress you out some.” Nick replied.

“Mm,” Lauren shrugged, turning her eyes down the foggy road. “I’d be lying if I said the thought hadn’t occurred to me, but… I looked Father in the eye. Why would he have made me? It’s… it’s probably the radiation.”

Nick decided to try not to pry anymore. Lauren had a lot on her plate - figuring out how to help the synths out of the Institute, running errands for every Tom, Dick, and Harry in the Commonwealth and now running around this island, trying to pick up the pieces and figure out what was up for Kasumi.

Their first stop was the Children of Atom. Nick couldn’t say he was happy about it - he knew how crazy those radiation worshippers could get - but they had to. Kasumi believed she was a synth, but believed something strange was going on. Lauren had picked a lock and they had hidden together in the storage closet as DiMA, Faraday and Chase spoke. 

“We have to earn their trust,” Lauren said suddenly, looking at Nick. “I won’t be able to get in unnoticed unless they think I’m one of them.”

“Who knows what kind of joining ritual they have,” Nick mused with a sigh. “I’ll be sure to keep an eye on you.”

The place the Children of Atom occupied - known as the Nucleus - wasn’t too far from Acadia, but with the fog and the creatures lurking in it, it took Lauren and Nick more than an hour to reach it. They cautiously crossed the rickety bridges over the radioactive waters, hanging back as two Children were singled out.

“Richter, please,” the man pleaded. “You can’t do this. We’ve been loyal--”

“It’s Grand Zealot to you,” Richter replied, glancing at Lauren and Nick warily. “And your dedication has come into doubt. You need to prove your faith. One of you may return to the fold,” Richter paused. “The other… will return to Atom.”

“Richter, this is insane!” the man pleaded. “You can’t expect us to--” a flash of light, and the man was thrown aside and on the ground.

“Will there be anything else?” the other Child asked.

“That’ll be all, sister.” Richter replied.

“Friendly folk.” Lauren said quietly to Nick, holstering her weapon before she approached. 

“You,” Richter turned to stare at them both as they approached. “What are you doing here? Did Far Harbour send you?”

“Uh, no,” Lauren replied nervously. “I’m from the Commonwealth, not Far Harbour.”

“Hmm. Quite the journey.” Richter eyed her. “So, explain to me what you’re doing here. You come seeking a place among Atom’s children?”

“Uh, yes!” Lauren grinned uncomfortably. “Sign me up.”

“Decisions of who may enter our family, we leave to Atom,” Richter sneered at Nick as he spoke. “You’ll have to perform a ritual. Prove yourself worthy in His eyes.”

“Uh… sure,” Lauren glanced nervously at Nick. “What do… I have to do?”

“Then let us hope He deems you fit.” Richter replied. “There is a small spring not far from here, north-east. Drink from it. Follow where it leads. You come back, we’ll discuss you joining the faithful.”

“Oh… Okay then.” Lauren wrung her hands together as she turned to Nick and made a displeased face, leading him back the way they came. “I get to drink from a likely radioactive spring… oh boy.”

“You don’t have to do this,” Nick said, putting a hand on her shoulder as they crossed the bridge. “God, doll… if this… kills you.”

“If it kills me… then we’re fucked.” Lauren replied as she grabbed her weapon. “Good thing I have you here to watch my six then, huh?”

The spring was ten minutes walk from the Nucleus. They were jumped by a Gulper - damn thing knocked Nick arse over head - but they made it to the spring. Spring was certainly a loose term - though there was water, Nick’s internal Geiger counter was going crazy as they approached the glowing waterfall.

“You taken your Rad-X?” Nick asked as Lauren slowly stepped up to it.

“Oh, shit, yeah,” Lauren rooted around in her pack and pulled out the pill bottle. “Bottoms up,” she said, slipping several pills into her mouth and swallowing before she peered at the label. “Warning, do not consume more than one a day… well, they’re two hundred years outta date, what’s it gonna do?” she turned and grinned at Nick. “Kill me?”

“Don’t push your luck.” Nick warned as she stepped up to the falls.

“Okay… Oh God, I can’t believe I’m fuckin’... doin’ this,” she shook out her limbs and looked to Nick. “Whatever I do… just… let me do it. Okay?”

“Ya got it, doll.” Nick replied, watching her carefully as she scooped up some water and drank it. He stepped forward as she coughed violently and wretched, catching herself on the rockface. “Doll?”

Lauren didn’t answer. Her face paled significantly as she stood up shakily, pupil-blown eyes looking around wildly. She began to stumble forward and Nick moved to catch her, but she pushed him away.

“Here goes nothing.” Nick said to himself as he began to follow her. She was muttering incoherently, tripping over her feet as she walked. The radioactive animals of Far Harbour stood and watched Lauren and Nick, ignoring them for the most part. They strode past Gulpers and Radstags, but nothing touched her - for that, Nick was glad.

The cry of a Fog Crawler echoed over the land, and Nick spotted it in the fog, watching Lauren stumble past. Nick grimaced - that thing was bigger than a Deathclaw, and had enough armour on it to be a significant threat. Hopefully, this would be the last time they would encounter one.

“N-Nick,” Lauren’s hand grasped at his arm, tugging on it and grabbing his attention. “There. Th-there.” she raised her other hand and pointed forward at a group of shambling ghouls.

“I got this, you sit tight,” Nick said, taking his laser pistol in hand and dealing with the ghouls before they could reach or harm Lauren. She stumbled past him, colliding with the door of the building and falling in. “Jesus, you alright?”

“I’m good,” she mumbled from the floor, rolling onto her back and sitting up. “My head’s pounding, though. God… why the fuck did I drink from that spring?”

“To get DiMA’s memories, doll.” Nick said, helping her slowly to her feet.

“Please, if I ever, _ever_ suggest something that… stupid again,” Lauren said as she rose. “Please feel free to shoot me in the kneecaps.”

“Noted,” Nick said, glancing around the room. “So, what did you bring us here for?”

“I was following someone. I think.” Lauren replied, opening a drawer. 

“You were stumbling over your own feet and muttering.” Nick corrected her. “There’s a terminal here. Looks like you need a password.”

“Of course it needs a password,” Lauren sighed, spinning on her heel. “Huh… M. O. T. H. E. R. “Mother”?” she glanced at Nick. “Think that could be the password?”

“You might as well try it.” Nick replied. Lauren stood by the terminal and tapped in mother, and a moment later, the locked door swung open. Lauren sidled around the door and grabbed a small carved statue, lifting it up and looking at it before she grabbed a note.

“To this shrine retreat, upon Atom think, know His servants watch. The ghouls?” Lauren sighed as she put the note down and stuffed the statue into her pack. “Come on. Let’s start heading back before I become half ghoul myself.”

The walk back wasn’t half as eventful as it had been there. Lauren presented the statue to the Grand Zealot, explaining what happened. Richter seemed surprised before he welcomed his new ‘sister’ into the fold.

“Well then,” Lauren said. “Let’s go get these memories.”

Nick had gotten used to his Geiger counter pinging incessantly since they had arrived on the island, and it was no different inside the Nucleus. Suspended above a deep, radioactive hole was a pre-war submarine - and Nick knew that there would be nuclear warheads inside it. The war would have been waged with these submarines - like the one he and Lauren had found off of Boston’s coast - and he had no doubt this one still had it’s packages safe and sound inside it.

It wasn’t too hard, convincing the guard to let them pass. Lauren made up some nonsense of how Atom would watch over her, and they were allowed through - though the guard did narrow her eyes at Nick as they passed.

It was a slow descent through the passages, Nick hanging behind Lauren as she skillfully disarmed traps and shot down turrets before they could activate. The robotic guardians were no match for them - taken out by lasers, gunfire, and grenade. The only one that served somewhat of a challenge was the assaultron, triggered by the circuit breaker. Lauren had dragged Nick back after it was killed, ducking behind a desk as the mini-nuclear explosion rocked the room.

“Good God,” Lauren said, peeking out over the desk and adjusting her glasses. “Whoever thought those things needed a self-destruct needs to be shot.”

“You okay?” Nick asked, rolling his shoulder. The assaultron had clipped him with a mistimed swing of its blade, but as far as he could tell, his arm wasn’t dropping off.

“I’m good. That assaultron got you, didn’t it?” Lauren looked him over. “I mean, you’re still in one piece, but I can check you for damage later if you want.”

“No, I’ll be fine,” Nick waved a hand. “You need to get your hands on DiMA’s memories.”

“That I do,” Lauren said, spinning on a heel. “This thing’s interesting,” she said, tapping the headpiece. “Okay, looks like I’m gonna be going… into the program. Ain’t that a trip,” she sighed and scratched her head. “Watch my back, yeah?”

“You didn’t need to ask, doll,” Nick replied, patting her on the shoulder as she sat. “But hey… be careful in there.”

“You know me,” she turned to grin at him before lowering the headpiece. “I’m always careful. Oh, if my nose starts bleeding… hit the kill switch.”

“No way,” Nick said. “I’m not going to be the one to kill you, doll.”

“Alright, alright,” she sighed as she tapped at the keyboard in front of her. “Just… keep an eye on me.”

“You got it.” Nick replied, turning away. Lauren drew a sharp intake of breath before she went nearly silent. Nick looked at her to see her practically frozen in place, her fingertips twitching and her eyes moving. “You come out of there in one piece, you hear me?” he said quietly, frowning as he tucked a stray hair behind her ear.

Even though his internal clock clearly said it wasn’t, it felt like it had been hours by the time she gasped and coughed and moved, removing the headpiece from her and shaking her head.

“Oh God, Nicky,” she got to her feet and turned to look at him as she retrieved five holotapes. “He… he was telling the truth. About you, and him.”

“What?” Nick asked as she slotted a holotape into her Pip-Boy. 

“ _Memory file identification: 0Z-7A4K. Converted to audio transcription. Beginning playback._ ” came the feminine robotic voice.

“ _Get away from me!_ ” Nick frowned; that was _his_ voice. “ _What the hell are you?_ ”

“ _It's me!_ ” DiMA. “ _We escaped the Institute together. You're my brother!_ ”

“ _I don't have a brother! The name's Nick Valentine, and no one in my family tree is a plastic-skinned freak!_ ” Nick grimaced - hell of a shock it was finding out that he was a 'plastic-skinned freak'.

“ _You're just confused, let me help…_ ” DiMA again, followed by struggling sounds.

“ _Stay away from me!_ ” Nick sounded desperate, and he flinched at the sound of punching and fists against plastic skin.

“ _I don't want to hurt you!_ ” DiMA sounded just as desperate in the fight, breathing heavily as one of them was pushed to the ground and beaten. " _Goodbye... Brother…_ ”

The Pip-Boy announced the end of the playback and Nick felt himself swallow as he looked up at Lauren. She stepped towards him and pulled him into a hug, and he was grateful for the contact.

“Come on,” she said softly. “We have to… get to the Vim! Pop factory. DiMA… he did something terrible and I need to found out what.”

“I’m with ya, doll,” Nick replied quietly, clinging to her for just a moment longer. “We need to see this through.”


	12. Gone To Shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Great googly moogly it's all gone to shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some personal headcanons sprinkled throughout (mainly that Gen 3s take radiation as well as the non synth meatbags do)
> 
> Warning for vomiting and needle mentions.

They had hiked back to Acadia in silence. Nick was too busy processing the holotape he had heard, confirming everything that DiMA had said, and Lauren was turning the real Captain Avery’s locket over and over in her hand, wondering what she should do. The fight through the Vim! Pop factory had taken a toll on her, and finding Avery’s body and the audio log of what DiMA had done had made her look worse than a kicked dog.

They were greeted at the door by Cog, one of the residents of Acadia, but he backed off when neither Nick nor Lauren replied. Lauren pressed on into the building, whilst Nick stood outside.

“What’s eating her?” Cog asked quietly, glancing at Nick as he lit a cigarette.

“We’ve, uh…” Nick sighed softly before taking a drag of his cig. “It’s complicated. We found some damning evidence.”

“Against who?” Cog asked.

“It’s better you don’t know.” Nick said, finishing his cigarette before he stepped in. Lauren was at the end of the hall, pacing and muttering, judging by the way she was moving her lips. The moment she spotted Nick, she stormed over.

“He doesn’t deny it,” she said coldly. “He says he had to. He had to kill that woman and erase some poor synth’s memory to make them her. He doesn’t want me to tell Far Harbour. If I did, they’d raze this place.”

“Hey, hey,” Nick caught her by her shoulders, bending at the knee slightly to get to her eye level. “One step at a time. Kasumi asked you to find this. We should go talk to her, right?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Lauren nodded, rubbing at an eye with her hand. “You’re right.” she took a deep breath and sighed, leading him down the stairs with her face looking down. She didn’t want to meet the eyes of Acadia’s synths, knowing what had been done to secure this place.

Nick stood aside as Lauren spoke with Kasumi, and the runaway was true to her word. She wanted to see this through before she went home. Lauren stood and walked over to Nick, her thumbs tucked into the armour on her waist.

“I need to talk to DiMA. I’m not comfortable revealing… this to Far Harbour,” she said, glancing at the pack where Avery’s locket and skull were. “He… he deserves to explain himself, right?”

“As much as I don’t agree with what he did,” Nick sighed. “I think so, too. Let’s go hear what he has to say for himself.”

Together, they walked back up the steps and to where DiMA stood. They had both ignored him as they entered, and he looked worried. 

“I hope you don’t mind,” DiMA began in his usual came tone. “But I had Chase shadow you. She saw you entering and leaving the Nucleus.” he paused, pressing his skeletal fingers together anxiously. “So… what was in my memory banks? Are we closer to resolving the conflict on this island peacefully?” he asked.

“Your memories, they…” Lauren paused, looking at Nick before she continued. “Led me to a grave site. You… killed Captain Avery and replaced her with a synth so you could control Far Harbour.”

“What?!” DiMA’s response seemed like genuine shock. “That’s impossible. Let me see what you found.” Lauren held out the holotapes she had to DiMA, and he took a moment to process each of them. “I… I did it. I killed a woman from Far Harbour and replaced her. I stripped a synth’s identity from her and made her an agent.” DiMA’s voice shook as he spoke.

“Why?” Lauren asked quietly. “Why would you do something like that?”

“I needed to calm Far Harbour. A moderate voice - an example of what humanity _should_ be,” DiMA explained. “How we could exist together as equals… but I couldn’t live with the memories of the blood on my hands. A human and a synth are both gone because of me.”

“I can’t say whether or not you did the right thing,” Lauren said softly. “I know I’ve killed people - people who might not have deserved it… but sometimes the right choice isn’t always the easiest.”

“Yes… yesss.” DiMA replied. “No one leaves this world clean. Sacrifices have to be made… I’m… starting to see things more clearly. We have to keep this secret from Far Harbour. If they knew I had done this, they wouldn’t destroy just me. They’d come after Acadia - and then, without us, the Fog Condensers will eventually fall into disrepair. Everyone will die.” DiMA paced around the room, his metal feet tapping on the floor.

“I… have an idea.” he said.

“Let’s hear it.” Lauren replied.

“There’s still a way we can bring peace,” DiMA explained as Nick sat himself down on a chair. “But the fact I’ve replaced a human with a synth must remain hidden.”

“I’ll… keep your secret.” Lauren said.

“Thank you… Maybe the… guilt, will keep me focused…” DiMA sighed. “As horrifying as it might be to suggest…. This memory you’ve recovered has… given us a new option,” DiMA paused, glancing guiltily at Nick before he spoke. “If Far Harbour could be made more… tranquil… by our intervention, then perhaps the same trick will work twice, on the Children of Atom.” 

“Wait,” Lauren frowned. “Are you suggesting…?”

“We could replace High Confessor Tektus with someone willing to forgive Far Harbour and work towards reconciling with them.”

Lauren pursed her lips, her hands fidgeting awkwardly in front of her. She opened her mouth to protest, but could only let out a frustrated sound before she threw her arms up in defeat. “If it means peace for the island… okay. Tell me the plan.”

“This will be difficult for both of us - all of us,” DiMA glanced at Nick. “But I believe this is our only option. I’ll need you to leverage your access to the High Confessor and lure him to a secluded location.”

“Where I’ll have to kill him…” Lauren sighed.

“Yes,” DiMA nodded. “You should be able to find a spot in the bay’s old Command Center, where you can deal with him… discretely and hide the remains. Once your work is done…” DiMA turned back to look at Lauren. “Return here, and the replacement will move in and take command.”

“Do I really have to… kill him?” Lauren asked. Nick knew she didn’t hold the Children of Atom in high regard, but as far as she was aware, Tektus was just a little soft in the head and hadn’t killed anyone.

“It would be the most reliable way of dealing with him,” DiMA explained. “But any method that removes Tektus from power indefinitely should work.”

“Ok. I’ll do it.” Lauren sighed in defeat. “Any ideas on how I can convince him to come out of his submarine?”

“Tektus lives in fear of being usurped by his predecessor, Martin - despite that in all likelihood, Martin is dead,” DiMA said. “But if you somehow uncovered evidence of Martin’s imminent return, I expect Tektus would be interested hearing all you know… in private.” DiMA paused in thought. “All we have to do is manufacture Martin’s uprising. To do so, I’ll need raw material. Martin recorded many of our conversations. Those in the Nucleus have certainly been destroyed, but I built a small refuge for Martin when he needed respite… from the family.” DiMA held out his hand and indicated at Lauren’s Pip-Boy. She held out her arm and he pressed a few buttons. “Go there and collect any tapes you can find. I’ll begin work on our replacement.” DiMA stepped away and grabbed a piece of armour that he had set on a console. “And here. I want you to have this as well. For what you have done for us.”

Lauren set Avery’s skull and locket down on the console, letting one last look linger on them before she turned and left. Nick was hot on her heels, glancing nervously at DiMA. He didn’t know how well this would go - Tektus was arrogant but paranoid. If he suspected for a moment that Lauren was lying, Nick knew he wouldn’t hesitate to kill her.

Their journey to Martin’s refuge was quiet. Lauren seemed to be battling the storm of emotions inside her over what they were going to do, and not even a gulper interrupting their lovely stroll through the mist seemed enough to pull her from it. She didn’t even make a quip about getting water in her shoes again as she waded into the swamp in search of their prize.

She pushed through some hanging vines and slipped past several barrels of nuclear waste and into the refuge. The walls were crumbling and it was sparsely decorated - with a bed set up on cinderblocks and several barrels shoved into a hole. Nick glanced over some papers as Lauren played the first holotape - about the brother who had been slaughtered by Far Harbour and how Tektus screamed for blood when Martin wanted everyone to be calm. Martin had wanted the people of Far Harbour to leave - and DiMA didn’t want that.

The holotape didn’t end well. Martin lost his temper and demanded DiMA - calm as ever - to leave. The second holotape discussed the possibility of the launch code Lauren had found in DiMA’s memories, and how Martin didn’t want to destroy the Nucleus and the family he had built. 

“He sounded like a good man,” Lauren said as the holotape ended, tucking it and the first one into her pocket. “A pity his successor is such a bigot.” she sighed as she rose to her full height. “Come on. Let’s get back to Acadia.”

When they returned, DiMA gladly took the tapes from Lauren, handing her a new one barely a minute later. He and Lauren spoke quietly before she strolled back to Nick, rubbing at her chin.

“DiMA says we can hide the body in the maintenance shaft walls.” Lauren paused. “God. I can’t believe we’re doing this.”

“As soon as we’re done here,” Nick said, setting his good hand on her shoulder and giving her a reassuring squeeze. “We’ll head home and relax for a bit. God knows you look like you need it.”

“Come on then,” Lauren said. “Tektus won’t wait around forever, huh?”

Lauren seemed jittery as they walked to the Nucleus, flinching at every wispy big of fog and everything that moved in the dim light. She swallowed a few Rad-X pills as they neared the Nucleus, steeling herself before they pressed onwards.

The submarine was cramped and Nick could feel his Geiger counter ticking away as they walked through the confined space to see Tektus. The guard eyed Lauren and Nick suspiciously before they stepped in. Lauren cleared her throat, and the High Confessor turned.

“Greetings, my child,” he said, looking down his nose at her. “I hear you ventured into the heart of the Nucleus. I thought you had perished.”

“Uh, well… Atom shielded me from the, uh… things in there,” Lauren cleared her throat again. “I’ve, uh… found a holotape. Confessor Martin is planning to come back and take over. We should come up with a plan, but not here,” she explained, shifting on her feet. “The Command Center tunnels should be far enough away from any of his conspirators.”

“Martin?” Tektus frowned. “It can’t… play it. I want to hear that coward’s voice.” he spat. Lauren fumbled with the holotape before her Pip-Boy began to play Martin’s twisted words, and Tektus ate it up. “I can’t believe it. He’s alive.” Tektus raised a brow and snorted. “None of the other Children can know about this. The Command Center, you said? I’ll ensure we…” he paused and smiled darkly. “Aren’t disturbed.”

Nick followed Lauren out of the Nucleus and up to the Command Center, where they waited with their guns in hand.

“You ready?” Nick asked.

“Christ, no,” Lauren replied. “I got a bad feeling about this. Though that might just be the background radiation.” she grinned, but Nick could see the unease in her face. “Ayup. Here he comes.”

Lauren stood and Nick looked down the corridor. Tektus was flanked by two vicious looking cronies. This was already going wrong. 

“Ah, there you are.” Tektus grinned. “I should have known Martin would send someone like you.”

“I… uh… don’t know what you mean.” Lauren said, glancing nervously at Nick.

“If he thinks that a girl like you can kill me, he’s wrong,” Tektus waved a hand at his guards, and they lifted their radium rifles. “You made a mistake coming here. Kill her.”

Nick didn’t have time to react quick enough. By the time he had grabbed Lauren by the scruff of her vault suit, the guards had fired and several rounds of radioactive gas (or whatever those damn things fired) hit Lauren, sending her Pip-Boy into a Geiger beeping frenzy. Nick yanked her back, pulling her into the side room before he pulled the door shut. He didn’t even know if she was still alive. All he knew was that Tektus and his guards had to pay.

“It wasn’t Martin,” Nick said through gritted teeth as he shot one guard. “It was DiMA!”

“DiMA? That traitorous-” Tektus didn’t have time to finish his sentence. Nick’s shot connected with the High Confessor’s head and his brains blew out the other side. The second guard was easy to take down - a few rounds in the chest and he was down.

As his Geiger counter settled, his mind went back to Lauren, panic streaming through his system as he burst through the door. Lauren was convulsing and vomiting on the floor. Nick ran over to her side and she pushed him back.

“Th-the bo-dies,” she said, clutching at her stomach. “Hi-ide the bo-dies.”

“Doll-!” he made to protest, but Lauren reached up and grabbed the lapel of his jacket with a desperate wheeze. 

“Fi-nish… the job…” she begged him, her limp hand letting go of his coat as she curled in on herself, her body wracked by another retching fit. Loathe as he was to leave her, Nick did as he was told, dragging the bodies of Tektus and his cronies into the room and shoving them in the wall. 

As he buried them, he was thankful that Lauren was still making noise. Noise, however desperate and heartbreaking it was, meant she was still _alive_. And Nick would be damned if he didn’t get her back to Acadia to get help. 

This had been a damn stupid idea. Lauren should have refused to replace him with a synth, but the bleeding heart she was wanted peace. She wanted the Children of Atom to have a chance - even if it meant stripping another synth of their identity and killing someone.

As soon as Nick was finished, he scooped Lauren up in his arms and _ran_. Out the door of the Command Center and past all the Children. There would be no help for her here, not where radiation was treated like a God. The only place that would even have half the supplies needed to treat her - beyond going all the way home to the Commonwealth - was Acadia.

So here he was, running through the fog, his coolant system running at the highest it had ever done in his life. He dodged past a fog crawler, eager to make his charge its breakfast, and kept on running. The woman who had rescued him - and countless others, no doubt - was dying in his arms, and Nick could only pray to whatever gods that were left that she wouldn’t die. Not now, not yet - not before she had closure for her son.

“Stay with me, doll.” Nick urged as he ran, holding her pallid body tightly against him.

“‘m tryin’.” came Lauren’s weak reply. Nick glanced down at her briefly, grimacing at the sickly pallor of her skin. Whether she was a synth or not didn’t matter - Gen 3s were just as susceptible to radiation as humans were, and they had to flush it out just the same.

In front of him, the fog started to fade, and for once in his life, Nick was glad that he had a body made of plastic and metal rather than flesh and sinews - Nick-the-human would have tired long ago, or tripped up, or dropped Lauren, but Nick-the-synth pressed ever onwards despite his hardwired brain was telling him to slow.

He opened the door of Acadia’s main building with a swift kick, practically taking the thing off of its hinges. Down the hall, DiMA was in his chair and Faraday was fussing over him, but both of them turned to look at Nick as he charged down the hall.

“What happened?” Faraday asked, abandoning DiMA and pressing two fingers against Lauren’s cold neck.

“Tektus and his cronies got her good,” Nick said. “She took a lot of rads - too many.”

“Quickly, this way,” Faraday urged, leading Nick away from DiMA and down the stairs. Nick glanced over his shoulder at his brother, and he could see the guilt written on the other synth’s face. So much for this whole thing going smoothly.

When prompted, Nick laid Lauren down on an old gurney as Faraday grabbed a stand and hung some RadAway from it. Nick unzipped Lauren’s vault suit and slid it down her arms, watching nervously as Faraday steadily slipped the needle under her skin, praying that he had been quick enough.

“You still in there?” Nick asked as he moved to stand by her side.

“Dunno,” Lauren replied quietly. “Everythin’ hurts, Nicky… I think I’m dyin’.”

“Oh no, no, no no no,” Nick breathed, taking her hand in his as Faraday worked on Lauren. Her normally warm skin felt ice cold against his as if she was already dead. “You’re too strong to let… let a couple of rads bring ya down,” he said, trying to smile.

“Mmm, well, tell that to the - eugh! - tell that to the rads.” Lauren replied, tensing and groaning in pain. “What’s… my Pip-Boy say ‘bout it?” she asked. Nick glanced at it and swallowed.

“It’s, uh… pretty bad,” he admitted. “One more shot and you would’ve been a dead girl,” he said, pushing some her hair back from her sweat-covered forehead. “But… you’re alive… that’s what matters.” Nick whispered, holding her hand to his lips and pressing a kiss against her knuckles. Lauren’s dark eyes were closed behind her thick-rimmed glasses, and despite the colour of her skin, she looked peaceful. “How long is she gonna be asleep for?” Nick asked Faraday.

“Well… with this much radiation sickness, it’s touch and go,” Faraday replied solemnly. “She’ll either wake up in a week or so… or she won’t.” Faraday set a few stimpaks by her beside. “If she wakes up and starts screaming, these should knock her out. For now, she needs to rest.”

Rest. This wouldn’t be the kind she was used to getting, leaning against him, falling asleep when and where she could. When the cold night fell on the Commonwealth, Nick and Lauren would find somewhere relatively safe for her to bed down. She could fall asleep anywhere, Nick had learned, and she normally did so against him. Nick supposed he would be with her now, but… seeing her looking so ill, and knowing there was nothing more he could do for her ate away at him.

“You love her, don’t you?”

Nick looked up as DiMA’s voice came from the door that Faraday had evidently left ajar. Nick stiffened, looking away.

“Are we even capable of love?” he asked his brother, turning back to look at Lauren. “We’re just machines, even if we have personality. She…” Nick’s mouth would have gone dry if it could have done. “She deserves better.”

DiMA pulled up a stool on the other side of Lauren, looking at her with a soft, guilty gaze. “We are machines,” DiMA said quietly. “But that doesn’t mean we are incapable of love.

“Before you left to… to kill Tektus, when she spoke to me, we discussed the possibility of her being a synth, and what that would mean - to you, specifically.”

“To me?” Nick snorted and raised a plastic brow. “She knows it wouldn’t change a damn thing. Synth or not, she’s the best damn partner I’ve ever had.”

“But there’s more to it than that, Nick,” DiMA smiled slightly. “I might not have the personality and memories of someone who experienced a life of their own, but I can see when someone is in love.”

“How can she love me, though?” Nick asked. “I’m a bucket of bolts, falling apart at the seams. Why would she wanted me when there are men like… Deacon, MacCready and Danse running around? Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if she wanted to bed Curie - with her new synth body and all.” Nick sighed and rest his head on his skeletal hand. “I want her to be happy.”

“How do you know she wouldn’t be happy with you?” DiMA asked in an amused tone. Nick frowned at him.

“Because, she’s already been with a man who can… cater to her. I can’t… _do_ things other men can. I can’t make love to her, no matter how hard I might try. She deserves so much more than I can give.”

“Now, Nick” DiMA sounded like a mother scolding her child. “You don’t see the way she looks at you. She looks at you like you are all the stars in the sky. When she became distressed at the thought of her own existence as a human, it was you she turned to for comfort,” DiMA looked at her, and then back to Nick. “I believe, at least, she has a sincere fondness for you. I cannot confirm whether or not it is love, but… she doesn’t care _what_ you are. She cares about _who_ you are.”

Deep down, Nick knew his brother was right. Ever since he had met Lauren, he had slowly fallen for her. He could still vividly remember the day he had been taunting muscles-for-brains Dino, only for his head to suddenly explode and splatter blood and brain matter all over the glass of the overseer’s office. Then his saviour, complete with a dog at her heels, appeared and busted him out. Though Lauren had been taken aback by his appearance at first - most people had that kind of reaction, after all - eventually she didn’t flinch or jump when she saw him, some days forgetting he was a Synth and not a man.

But was it love? Nick couldn’t be sure. He couldn’t deny that there was a certain fondness in the way she looked at him - with soft smiles and warm eyes, the colour of the roses that he could just about remember growing on his neighbour’s apartment window touching her cheeks as their fingers brushed together. The way she would shout his name whenever he took a bullet, and then scold him for being reckless later.

“Damn,” Nick said with a hearty chuckle. “I think I got it bad.” Nick looked up, but DiMA was already gone. Besides the sounds of his internal systems working, the only other noise in the room was Lauren’s shallow breathing. Gently, Nick lifted Lauren’s clammy hand to his lips and pressed a soft kiss against her knuckles. “You gotta pull through, doll. You’ve still got so much to do… I still have to tell you that I…” Nick trailed off, voice hitching in his throat as he averted his gaze from her pale, sweat covered face.

She had to pull through this, she _had_ to. If she didn't, Nick was sure he'd die without her.


	13. Make the Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How will the Commonwealth survive without the good General Greene?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~it's a fucking filler~
> 
> sorry for my tardiness sometimes I run outta spoons
> 
> also i kind of ship hancock/curie so come fight me

Nick had stepped outside for a brief moment after a messenger from the Commonwealth had arrived with news - the settlements under the protection of the Minutemen were, surprisingly, holding up rather well without Lauren’s constant intervention and aid. Nick had given them a message to take back - that Lauren was out of action for God only knew how long. He had lit up a cigarette and watched the messenger vanish into the thick fog before he heard the door open behind him.

“Hey, uh… Valentine, was it?” Nick turned. One of Acadia’s synths - Naveen? - was stood at the door. “She’s awake.”

Nick instantly dropped his cigarette before walking swiftly inside, taking the stairs two at a time. He stopped at the door to the infirmary hesitantly, looking at Lauren as she sat in bed, sipping from a cup of water offered to her by the synth attending her. Nick floundered for a moment - she looked terrible; her hair had fallen out in clumps and her skin still held a paleness that was next to death, but she was sitting up and she was _smiling_. Smiling meant she was happy, and Nick felt like he could relax.

“Nicky!” Lauren croaked, setting the cup on her lap when she spotted him. The synth looking after her - Aster, Nick thought her name was - put her hand on Lauren’s arm before leaving, nodding to Nick as she passed. Nick swallowed - cursed throwback - and walked over to her. Lauren held out her hand and he took it, smiling gratefully at her when she gave it a reassuring by rather weak squeeze. “How long have I been out for?”

“About a week,” Nick said quietly, stroking his thumb over the back of her hand. “It was a bit touch and go for the first few days, but… you pulled through.”

“Judging by the look on your face, I guess I ain’t looking so grand, eh?” she asked. Nick tried his best not to grimace, but it only made her laugh weakly. “Don’t worry - I probably feel as bad as I look.” she chuckled. Trust her to laugh in the face of something that had almost killed her - though it wouldn’t be the first time. “Seriously, Nicky… how do I look?”

“Well… you’ve lost most of your hair,” Nick said with a guilty frown. “Couple bits still left to fall out here and there, but you’re about as bald as I am, doll.”

“Huh,” Lauren replied, lifting her free hand to run it over her mostly bald head. “It’ll probably grow back, but if not,” she grinned as she reached out and grabbed his hat by the brim, settling it on her own head with a triumphant smirk. “I can always borrow this.”

“You look good in it,” Nick said, taking it back with his metal hand and setting it back where it belonged. “I did bring you this, though. Should keep that shiny new dome of yours warm.” Nick fished into his pocket and set a black knitted beanie onto Lauren’s lap.

“Oh man! I used to wear one of these _all_ the time at CIT!” she exclaimed, letting go of his hand to slip it on. “Had more hair back then, though. And less scars.”

“And less Rads,” Faraday was at the door, smiling in relief at seeing Lauren awake. Aster must have fetched him. “Glad to see you’ve pulled through - but I have more bad news for you.”

“Oh boy,” Lauren sighed, glancing at Nick with pursed lips. “Come on then. Before we all get old.”

“You’re going to need bed rest for at least three weeks.” Faraday said plainly.

“Three weeks?!” Lauren gasped. “Bloody hell, the Commonwealth will fall without me for three weeks.”

“I wish she was joking,” Nick said to a puzzled Faraday. “Don’t worry, doll. As soon as you fall asleep here, I’ll head back to Far Harbour and get a boat back to the mainland. The old Coastal Cottage isn’t too far from the Nakano household, so I’ll use their radio to send a message to Sanctuary,” he continued, rising to his full height as Faraday left. “Anything I can get for you in the meantime?”

“I’d fuckin’ kill for a Nuka Cola right about now,” Lauren said with a sigh, setting her hands on her lap. “The water’s ok, but it’s not Nuka Cola, y’know?”

“I know,” Nick said as he walked to the door, shaking his head in amusement. As he reached the door, he paused and looked back at Lauren. “Hey, I’m… I’m glad you pulled through. It’d be an awfully lonely wasteland without you.”

Nick fetched Lauren her promised Nuka Cola and told her about the news the messenger had brought earlier. Faraday popped in every hour or so to check her vitals, insisting she get some more rest. Nick finally ordered Lauren to stop pestering him for more news, and she settled down.

The moment Nick was certain Lauren was asleep, he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and hurried out. The walk down to Far Harbour wasn’t too bad - the fog was thick, but being made of plastic and metal meant he didn’t smell like food, so most things just left him be. A ghoul did stumble his way, but he had nimbly side-stepped past it and reached the walls of Far Harbour barely ten minutes after he left Acadia.

Without Lauren, the boat ride back to the Commonwealth felt like a damn eternity. It wasn’t, of course - in fact, his internal clock told him it went by about ten minutes longer than the journey to Far Harbour had been - but it felt lonely without her beside him.

Dawn rose when the boat pulled into the Nakano harbour. Nick knew they’d likely still be asleep but penned a note to them. _’Found your girl. Won’t come home til everything in Far Harbour is seen to’_ and promptly headed south towards the Coastal Cottage.

About three months ago, Lauren had found an old shop that sold ham radios, and had scavenged enough working ones to put in each of the settlements that looked to the Minutemen for protection - that way, if one place required steel and another needed wood, a trade could occur - or, God forbid, a place was being attacked, they could alert the Castle quickly and have the issue for help sent out. It was mostly used for communicating and keeping in touch - easier than having foot messengers who could easily be taken out by any of the nasties lurking the roads of the Commonwealth.

The old cottage had been torn down when Nick and Lauren had first arrived. The would had been used to set up a larger shack, where most of the folks now lived. Several other shacks had sprung up, as had a sturdy wall, topped with turrets that tracked Nick as he moved. The lone watchmen nodded to him as he entered, shutting the gates behind him.

Nick stepped into the shack that housed the radio. One of the settlers - a pre-war ghoul that Nick was certain was called Tim or Tom or something - was sitting reading a book beside it. The ghoul’s dark eyes looked up as Nick cleared his throat.

“Detective Valentine,” the ghoul said with a smile, his Scottish brogue thick. “What can old Tam do for you today?”

“I need to contact Sanctuary.” Nick replied.

“Sanctuary, coming up,” Tom said. “Just a second…” he flicked a few switches on the radio and spoke into the microphone. “Sanctuary, Sanctuary, this is Coastal Cottage. Come in Sanctuary, over.”

There were a few moments of silence before the call was answered by one of Sanctuary’s residents - Sturges, by the sounds of it.

“Coastal Cottage, this is Sanctuary. What do you need, over?” Sturges asked, voice crackling through the radio.

“Got one Detective Valentine on the line of you. Handing the radio to him now.” Tam stood and stepped back, allowing Nick some privacy. 

“Sturges, that you?” Nick asked as he sat.

“Nick! How’s uh, Far Harbour, was it?” Sturges asked.

“Uh, well, y’know,” Nick shrugged despite himself. “Foggy. Not too different from the Commonwealth - apart from a few more things that’ll tear your heart out before you can blink.” Nick cleared his throat again. “Is, uh… anyone else around?”

“Hey! Is that old Nicky on the line?” Hancock’s gravely voice came over the radio. “Move over, Sturges! Nicky, my man! Where’s our good General Greene?”

“She’s… she’s…” Nick paused and sighed in defeat. “Not doing good.”

“Never knew you to be a man of few words,” Hancock replied, voice serious for once. “What’s the deal, Nicky? We got word yesterday, but it was just that the old girl was out of action.”

“She took a lot of Rads while we were dealing with some Children of Atom,” Nick said. “She’s been out cold for a week, and now she’s been told she can’t leave for three weeks.”

“Three weeks?” Hancock snorted. “Damn.”

“Hancock, my dear, who are you talking to?”

“That Curie with you?” Nick asked.

“The one and only, monsieur Valentine!” Curie replied. “I overheard you talking about Lauren. Is she alright, monsieur?”

“Rads, babe,” Hancock replied for him. “The Commonwealth’s gonna have to suffer a little while longer while she recovers.”

 

“Zut Alors!” Curie exclaimed. “Monsieur Valentine, you stay right where you are. Coastal Cottage, oui? Hancock and I are coming.”

“No, no, it’s fine!” Nick said, sitting upright. “I’ll be heading back as soon as I can.”

“Which is why me and Curie are comin’ with ya, Valentine,” Hancock said calmly. “To keep Sunshine company. Besides, it’s been awhile since she’s been back to Sanctuary - I gotta gossip with her, ya know?”

Nick sighed. There would be no telling the pair of them otherwise. “Alright,” he said. “But ya best double time it here. The sooner I’m back at Far Harbour with Lauren, the better.”

“If I didn’t know any better, Nicky,” Nick could practically _see_ the smarmy smirk on Hancock’s face just from the tone of his voice. “I’d say you haven’t told the General you love her yet.”

“Well,” Nick said quietly. “Maybe when you make it to Acadia you’ll see me say it for yourself.”

“You’ve got yourself a deal, Valentine,” Hancock said. “Curie and I will see you in a couple hours. Maybe you should run a couple’a diagnostics in the meantime.” the ghoul teased.

“Very funny, Hancock,” Nick grumbled. “Anyway, Coastal Cottage, out.” Nick clicked the button he had seen Tam press earlier and leant back in the chair. He didn’t want to have to explain to Hancock and Curie about Acadia (Lord knows how they’d feel about Curie), but if they were insisting on coming with him, he’d have to. “Hey, uh, Tam?” Nick turned to the ghoul who had just stepped back into the shack. “When’s the armour store open up?”

“You might be able to catch Janet in an hour or so.” Tam said.

“Thanks.” Nick replied, standing up and leaving the ham radio shack behind.

Hancock and Curie arrived at midday, and Nick set off a brisk pace back to the Nakano house. Kenji accosted him as they arrived, practically begging Nick to drag Kasumi home if he had to. When the fisherman was dealt with, Nick, Hancock and Curie climbed into the boat, and Nick told them everything as it left the Commonwealth.

Whilst Curie leant on the control panel at the front of the boat, watching the sea pass by with wide, curious eyes, Nick lit up a cigarette and stood at the stern - his own yellow optics watching the Commonwealth vanish into the sea mist.

“Hey, Nicky,” it was Hancock, stepping beside him as he shoved a jet inhaler into his pocket. “You know I tease you about Sunshine, but I was being serious over the radio.”

“About what?” Nick asked with an amused snort. “Running the diagnostics?”

“Well, maybe,” Hancock chuckled. “About being in love with her,” he said, elbowing Nick in the side. “You might be a synth, but I can tell when a man’s got the love bug - and you, Valentine, have it _bad_.”

 

“You’re not the only one to point it out,” Nick replied, sucking smoke into his artificial lungs. “DiMA asked me if I was in love with her, too. I… just haven’t gotten around to telling her yet. It doesn’t feel like it’s the right time.”

“You shouldn’t just sit and around wait for it, Nicky,” Hancock said, popping a mentat into his mouth. “You gotta make it happen. Soon as we get to Acadia and see to Sunshine, me and Curie will find something to do, and then - you tell her,” he said. “Else MacCready might beat you to that finish line. You’ve seen the way that boy looks at her, right?”

“You’ve told me,” Nick said, gritting his teeth together. Ever since Lauren had helped the ex-mercenary find a cure for his sick son, he’d been making the goo-goo eyes at her. As yet, Lauren had yet to notice - or she was deliberately ignoring him. Regardless, it still made Nick’s synthetic skin rankle with jealousy at the mere thought of it. “I just… nearly losing her, seeing her half dead on that bed. God, Hancock - how can I tell her knowing that I’m going to outlive her?”

“That shouldn’t matter,” Hancock shrugged lazily. “You could both die tomorrow. She could live another fifty years and you’ll be the happiest damn synth in the Commonwealth. You might just stop functioning one day, and she’ll outlive _you_ ,” another noncommittal shrug from the ghoul as he turned to look at Curie, an uncharacteristically soft smile gracing his grizzled features. “You gotta seize the moment. Don’t let something beautiful and fragile slip past ya ‘cause you were too afraid you’d break it.”

Nick didn’t want to admit it, but Hancock had a point. He was afraid of disappointing Lauren, afraid of _hurting_ her - to the point he actively avoided thinking about the fact that he was in love with her - but this time, he couldn’t let her slip past him. He wasn’t going to let the Commonwealth, the Institute or Far Harbour take away something so beautiful and so wonderful.

Now all he had to do was tell her.


	14. One More Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hancock: King of Bad Timing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is really short but it's 1am
> 
> meanwhile my SS can draw beautifully and I can't even draw a fuckin grapefruit right

If Nick thought that the Far Harbour had been wary with him, they were far worse when Hancock stepped off the boat and strolled up the steps. Someone hollered “Ghoul!” at the top of their voice and suddenly thirty guns were trained on the good Mayor John Hancock. It had taken ten minutes of a shouting match between Allen and Captain Avery before everyone had calmed themselves. Nick was just thankful that nobody had fired a shot - most incidences like that these days usually ended with someone dead.

“Not very friendly, are zhey?” Curie asked as the crowd reluctantly went back to their usual haunts, leaving the two synths and ghoul standing underneath a streetlight.

“You’ve had a gun pointed at ya once,” Hancock sucked down a huff of jet after he spoke. “Nothin’ I haven’t seen before, babe.”

“Are zhere no ghouls living on zhis island, monsieur Valentine?” Curie asked as Nick led them out of the dingy little town.

“Not from what I’ve seen,” Nick said. “The fog seems to… well,” he indicated loosely at it. “I’m sure Hancock can feel the rads.”

“You bet,” Hancock said. “This place gives me the creeps. How far is this place, anyway?”

“Not far,” Nick assured him. “Just keep your eyes peeled and your gun ready - there’s some bad things living out here,” he said, keeping a tight hold on his laser rifle. “If you thought deathclaws were bad, just wait til you meet some of this island’s nasties.”

Said nasties left them alone, for the most part. A fog riddled ghoul stumbled towards Curie as they walked, only for Hancock to smash what was left of it’s face in with a particularly vicious looking baseball bat. Curie seemed to stop every few moments, marvelling at the wildlife with an innocent curiosity, only for Hancock to turn back and pull her out of her thoughts to keep them moving.

The fog thinned the further up the mountain they climbed, leaving the dusk sky ahead of them. Nick could recall, in fuzzy detail at least, the skies from before the war. It was rare there was ever a night so clear that you could even see the stars. Now, without the pollution, the night sky could often be as bright as the day.

Nick didn’t fancy having to explain that Hancock wasn’t dangerous to the citizens of Acadia, but he insisted on having him and Curie wait outside. The last thing he wanted was another Far Harbour, thirty guns trained on Hancock incident. 

DiMA was up and about, speaking with Chase whilst Faraday was doing whatever it was he did with those massive memory banks. Nick braced himself before he walked up the hallway with purpose.

“Nick!” DiMA spotted him first, smiling widely as he approached. “How was your trip back to the Commonwealth?”

“Uneventful, for the most part,” Nick replied. “A few, uh… friends, insisted on coming with me to see Lauren.”

“Friends?” Chase narrowed her eyes at him, and Nick _almost_ felt a shiver go up his spine as she did. Ex-Courser or not, she had a terrifying stare.

“One’s a synth - her name’s Curie,” Nick started. “She’s quiet and very… scientific, about everything,” he said, pausing to consider whether or not to tell them she had once been a robot. It didn’t really matter either way - Curie was still Curie. “The other one is… a ghoul.”

“A ghoul?!” Chase immediately went for her weapon before DiMA put his hand on her arm.

“I’m sure Nick has a good explanation for bringing a ghoul here,” he warned her softly. Chase glanced at Nick before relaxing - if you could call no longer reaching for her weapon “relaxing”.

“He’s not like the ghouls you get around here,” Nick said, hold his hands up. “Nothing like the ghouls you get around here. He’s… mostly harmless,” Nick grimaced. “Okay, not harmless, but he’s not feral. I can vouch for him, and if he does anything you don’t like, you can talk to me.” Hancock wouldn’t care about strangers telling him to cut doing whatever shit he was, but he might at least listen to Nick, or even Curie or Lauren if pressed.

“I’ll be keeping an eye on him - both of them,” Chase said. “I still don’t trust you, or your Vault dweller friend.”

“Chase,” DiMA cleared his throat and the ex-Courser stood to attention. “They are our guests,” DiMA smiled warmly. “They are welcome here like everyone else.”

Chase muttered something under her breath, but otherwise stood down. Nick felt himself relax, nodding to DiMA before he went to fetch Curie and Hancock. Curie instantly started looking around at the old telescope housing, and Hancock listened and nodded along as she explained the uses for different things that the old housing used to have. Chase eyed them before disappearing out the door, likely to go pick up another synth who had arrived at the island, or to make a perimeter sweep.

“How is she?” Nick asked DiMA, lighting up a cigarette as he finally allowed himself to relax.

“Aster and Faraday have been keeping an eye on her,” DiMA said, sitting down on a stool. “I went and spoke with her when she woke up this morning.”

“Oh?” Nick asked, quirking a brow. “What about?”

“Oh, you know,” DiMA smiled knowingly. “She is a fascinating person. Though I knew that by the company she kept,” he chuckled. “She spoke of home. How upset she was that she couldn’t remember it, or her family.”

“I know how she feels,” Nick said. Sometimes he would get flashes - of his mother working over a hot stove and muttering indignantly in Italian under her breath as his father lit up a cigarette on the balcony; of his sister, mud on her face and crying as she begged her older brother to make the bullies pay; of Jenny, lying face down in the dust, blood seeping through her--

“Nick?” DiMA asked, setting a hand on Nick’s shoulder. Nick blinked, shaking his head as he looked at his brother.

“Sorry,” Nick replied. “The memories, they… well,” DiMA didn’t have a spare set of memories that weren’t rightfully his. He had only his own. “They can be… difficult to deal with.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” DiMA said. “If you ever need to talk…”

“I’ll be fine,” Nick smiled ruefully. “Have been for a century,” he cleared his throat before taking one last draw from his cigarette and dropping it. “I should… Go see Lauren.”

Sighing, Nick departed from DiMA and headed down the stairs to where he had carried Lauren barely weeks ago. Nick clenched his fists as he thought of how helpless he had been - she had nearly died in his arms, all for DiMA’s grand master plan. Peace had been achieved - but at what cost? Lauren had been thrust to death’s door, and DiMA had manipulated his way to controlling both Far Harbour _and_ the Nucleus. How long would it be before someone noticed what he had done?

“Nicky?”

Nick hadn’t realised he’d walked all the way to the room Lauren was in. She was sat up on her bed, a book and pencil in her hand. She broke into a grin as Nick walked over, instantly pulling the synth into a warm hug, but not before shoving the book under her pillow.

“Hey, doll,” Nick said, resting his chin on the top of her head. “How you feeling?”

“Fuckin’... gross,” she laughed softly. “I’ve been feeling like I might vomit at any given moment, but so far I haven’t,” Lauren shrugged. “Aster and Faraday have decided I have to be on a liquid diet for now. At least, until I build my strength up so I can blow this joint.”

“And here I thought you’d want to stay forever,” Nick grinned. Lauren stuck her tongue out at him.

“Very funny, jackass,” she said. “No. I can’t wait to get back to Sanctuary. I feel like such a useless slab of meat, cooped up in here. And I miss everyone! First port of call when I get back is a big cuddle from Dogmeat, ‘cause I miss that big dumb pup.”

“Don’t let him hear you call him that,” Nick chuckled in amusement, setting himself on the stool by Lauren’s bed. “Say, what were you doing when I walked in? You hid that book awful fast.”

“I was… drawing,” Lauren said sheepishly, pulling the book out from under her pillow. She carefully opened it and turned the pages. “Drawing things. And stuff.”

“Lemme see,” Nick said, gingerly taking the book from her hands. Carefully sketched onto the pages were faces - faces of people who lived in Sanctuary. Lauren’s friends, lovingly portrayed on the paper. “Doll, this is…”

“They’re terrible,” Lauren said with a sigh. “I’m drawing from memory. Preston’s nose is all skew-whiff, and Mama Murphy looks like she’s just scrambled with a deathclaw. And don’t get me _started_ on my picture of you!”

“Why?” Nick asked, flicking through the pages. When he reached Lauren’s latest page - the page she had been so quick to hide when he approached her - he blinked. On the page was a sketch of him - profile view, looking dark and serious. Nick glanced up at Lauren - who was hiding her face in her hands - and swallowed. She had drawn him in such intricate detail, down to the exposed wires and frame behind his cheeks. “You draw beautifully, doll. Don’t pretend that you think these are terrible.”

“They’re not my best, though,” Lauren sighed. “I just… if I had the subject in front of me, I could do it so much… more.” she shook her head, setting her hand on top of Nick’s. “I just… I wanted to surprise you with a nice picture.”

“Doll, you have,” Nick smiled softly as he began to lean forward, ready to capture Lauren’s lips in a warm kiss.

“We-he-hell!” Hancock announced his presence, stepping in with a wide grin on his face. “If it ain’t my favourite popsicle and clockwork detective!”

“Hancock?” Lauren pulled back to sit up properly, staring at the ghoul with surprised eyes. “What’re you doing here?”

“Hancock and I insisted we accompany Nick to see you,” Curie said, stepping in with far less flair and grandeur. “We wanted to make sure zhat you were alright, chérie.” she smiled.

“You guys,” Lauren wiped at the corners of her eyes. “You didn’t have to. I’m fine, I promise.”

“Sunshine, you ain’t fine,” Hancock said, strolling over. “You’re practically green.”

“Am not.” Lauren huffed.

“I am afraid I must agree wizh Hancock,” Curie said with a small sigh. “But, you will be on your feet in no time, I can tell. And zhen we will all head home togezher! Oh, and I must tell you _all_ zhe news and gossip zhat you have missed! So, gentleman, shoo! Off wizh you.” Curie waved her hand at Nick and Hancock to dismiss them both. Nick sighed and smiled at Lauren before he stood, allowing Curie to have his seat before he and Hancock walked out.

“Well, Mayor,” Nick said, lighting up a cigarette. “I must congratulate you on your perfect timing.”

“Thanks, Nicky,” Hancock grinned for a moment. “Wait. Damn, you were…?”

“And you ruined the moment,” Nick shook his head. “Knock next time.”

“Duly noted,” Hancock grinned. “But hey, you’ll get another chance. For now - I’m starving, wanna show me where I can get some good grub in this place?”


	15. Mistakes Were Made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You ever fuck up so bad you want to go back in time and smack yourself?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tfw it takes u 5 months to update a fanfic

The final trip home was cramped as hell. Kasumi had finally agreed to come home after all the loose ends had been (mostly) tied off, and was on board the boat with Nick, Lauren, Curie and Hancock. Though the youngster stared at Hancock - she had obviously never actually _seen_ a non-feral ghoul - the trip was remarkably uneventful. Kasumi and Curie talked about synths and other tech whilst Lauren stood at the stern, watching the fog and island disappear over the horizon.

Nick approached her slowly, wrapping his arms around her from behind. She flinched briefly before relaxing and leaning against him, sighing softly. “Hey Nicky,” she said quietly, setting her hands on top of his. 

“Hey,” he replied, resting his chin on the top of her head. “How’re you feeling, doll?”

“Still pretty horrible,” Lauren sighed as she leant against him. “I’m looking forward to going home and sleeping in my own bed,” she paused and let out an exasperated noise. “Although I bet a shit-ton of caps Preston is gonna have a list of jobs longer than my arm that have inevitably built up while we were in Far Harbour.”

“I’m sure I can take care of some of those,” Nick said, absently watching a flock of seaghouls scarper from the waves - dreading to think of exactly what they were fleeing from. “You deserve rest,” he said, trying to take his mind off of the ocean. “After everything that’s happened… I…”

The boat rocked slightly and Lauren pulled herself from his arms to lean over the edge to vomit. Nick stood uselessly watching her before she stood up and turned, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

“Sorry,” she said, letting out a breath. “I guess my stomach still isn’t a hundred percent, huh?”

“It’s fine, doll,” Nick said. “Maybe you should sit down?” he glanced over at the only seat on the boat - which Hancock was inhabiting, his tricorn hat covering his face as he snored.

“Nah,” Lauren chuckled and shrugged. “I mean, who wants to wake up Hancock from his beauty sleep? Dude sleeps with a knife in his hand,” she leant against the machinery on the ship. “I don’t fancy getting stabbed after everything that’s happened, y’know.”

“I can wake him,” Nick offered. “I’ve got fast enough reactions to stop myself from being stabbed.”

“Yeah, but if you get stabbed,” Lauren countered, looking pointedly at him. “I’m gonna say, I told you so. Just leave him. He’s an old man and he needs his naps.”

“Says the two-hundred-year-old,” Nick shook his head in amusement as Lauren stuck her tongue out at him in reply. Hancock was in his fifties by now - Nick could still remember the smooth skinned, suave young man he had been, charming the pants off of just about everyone when he still lived in Diamond City. After he had vanished, his parents had hired Nick to find him - and his change had surprised even Nick. He had returned to Diamond City with nothing to show, and had told Hancock’s parents what Hancock had told Nick himself - that there was no chance in hell Hancock was ever coming home, and that had been when ghouls still lived in Diamond City. Mayor Guy McDonough had changed all that. Nick was surprised the new Mayor hadn’t tried to cast him out, too.

The ship pulled into the dock as the sun reached its highest point in the sky. It was a tearful reunion for the Nakano’s, and Lauren had smiled and nodded as Rei and Kenji had insisted on pressing a box of caps into her hand, and apologised for everything she had been through.

“Do I really look _that_ bad?” Lauren asked as the small party left the Nakano household.

“Worse,” Hancock snickered, slapping her on the back. “Death warmed up, sunshine.”

“Hancock is exaggerating,” Curie insisted, shaking her head at the ghoul. “You do not look at zhe peak of your health, but you could be worse.”

“Hancock is kind of right,” Lauren chuckled. “I _feel_ like death warmed up,” she paused and removed the knitted beanie from her head, and Nick took a glance at her. Her dark red hair was beginning to grow back, soft stubble peeking out amongst the tufts that remained. Lauren ran a hand over her head and grimaced. “Gonna have to get John at Super Salon to give me a proper shave,” she slipped the beanie back on. “Or wear this for a couple months.”

“It suits you,” Nick said, turning his eyes towards the abandoned factory to make sure that no ferals were stumbling their way. “You, uh… look good in it.”

Lauren turned to look at him incredulously. “Are you flirting with me, Detective?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, doll,” Nick said, grinning slyly back at her. He caught Hancock’s eyes briefly before he looked forward - damn, that ghoul was not going to let this go.

A storm had rolled in by the time they made it back to Sanctuary. The high junk walls of the settlement were a welcome sight - not that Nick needed to rest. His three companions, on the other hand, were all exhausted from trundling across the Commonwealth, defending themselves from the mystery monsters it always tended to throw at them.

Piper was stood at the gate guard and spotted them coming through the rain. She vanished into the mist (“If I never see mist again, it’ll be too soon,” Lauren grunted), and the gates swung open. Preston and Piper ran out and stopped in front of Lauren, staring at her in the rain.

“What?” she asked.

“We uh, weren’t sure if you were coming back, Blue,” Piper said. “Nick’s last message was pretty cryptic.”

“Well, I’m not dead,” Lauren replied. “Can we just… get out of this? I’m soaked to the bone and ready to sleep for a year, c’mon.”

The gates closed behind them as they entered, and the settlers who were out and about all stopped what they were doing to stare at the General. Nick supposed he had been rather cryptic - or that Hancock was a shitty story-teller and had made Lauren’s radiation trip seem worse than it had been.

Preston pulled Lauren in to give her some reports about happenings across her settlements. The wall at the Slog had been damaged by Forged, a deathclaw had been sighted near Greentop, a baby had just been born at Hangman’s Alley, and Starlight Drive-In needed some help with raiders. As soon as he had finished his report, Lauren promptly left the make-love-not-war room, and walked straight to her shack.

Nick followed not long after. Preston asked him to say sorry to Lauren for him. Nick knew he meant well, but he could be a hard-ass for his job sometimes. Stepping out into the rain, he caught sight of Lauren slamming her door shut so hard that her shack shook, and followed.

Rapping his knuckles on the door, he cleared his throat. “Doll?” he asked over the rain. “It’s me. Can I come in?”

There were a few moments of nothing but the sound of the rain before the door slowly opened. Lauren stepped back from the door frame and indicated with her head, inviting Nick inside. He shuffled in, taking off his hat and shaking the rainwater from it before turning his attention to his partner.

“How’re you doing?”

“I feel like utter _shite_ , Nicky,” Lauren said with a sigh, taking off her beanie and tossing it onto a table. “Could you give me a hand with this armour? I have so little energy I think I might fall asleep standing up, here.”

“Of course,” Nick said, closing the gap between them and helping her with clips and tassels. Piece by piece, her makeshift, hodge-podge armour came off and was set next to the beanie on the table. When she was free of the armour, Lauren stretched out, removing her Pip-Boy and setting that own, too. “Hey, doll… can we, uh… talk?”

She looked at him over her glasses, her deep brown eyes filled with worry. “Uh, sure,” she said, rubbing the back of her head. She sat down on her beat-up sofa, patting the other cushion to invite Nick to sit next to her. Nick paused, removing his coat, setting it and his hat on the arm of the sofa before he sat down. “You… okay?”

“Me?” Nick asked, fiddling with the end of his fraying tie. “Sure, sure. I, uh… huh. You’d think being a synth, I wouldn’t be lost for words, huh?”

“Oh, I dunno,” Lauren replied. “I know you well enough to know you’ve been lost for words plenty times before,” she chuckled softly. “Chromedome or not.”

“Watch who you’re calling chromedome, baldy,” Nick teased, grinning at her and shaking his head. “No, this, uh… Hancock’s been on my ass for weeks - months, even - because of this.”

“Is something wrong?” Lauren asked, her tone quiet and fearful.

“What?” Nick blinked. “No, no! Nothing’s wrong, don’t you worry,” he said, gently placing the thumb and forefinger of his good hand on her chin. “Chin up, doll. Frowning doesn’t suit that pretty face of yours.”

She stared at him, opening her mouth to speak but sighing and frowning wider. “You, Nicky,” she finally managed, reaching out with one hand and booping Nick’s nose gently. “Are a conundrum.”

“Hm?” Nick smiled. “Says the two-hundred-year-old frozen banana who can pick locks, build robots and has the same accent as your average Mr Handy unit.”

“I do _not_ sound like a Mr Handy!” Lauren squeaked indignantly, pushing him away playfully. “You wound me, Valentine. Wound me!” she dramatically turned and flopped against him, covering her eyes with her arm. Nick caught her and laughed, gazing down at her as she adjusted on him and looked back up at him. “What?”

“Oh, nothing,” Nick said, smiling fondly at her. Lauren’s brown eyes met his gaze and he could see the blush creeping on her cheeks as she pushed herself up to get comfortable on top of him, her head on his chest. Nick took in a deep, simulated and wholly unnecessary breath before he closed the space between them and hesitantly kissed her.

She gasped softly but didn’t flinch or move away. Her lips were soft against his - they had more give than his own did, and the feeling of them pressed against his almost made a shiver go up his spine. When he pulled back, he blinked down at her, shame prickling on the back of his neck.

“Doll, I-- I’m sorry, I don’t know what ca-!” as he stuttered out his apology, Lauren moved off of him and back onto him, quick as a whistle. She was straddling his lap and pressing her lips against his desperately, gripping the collar of his shirt with both hands like her life depended on it. Nick found himself moaning, allowing his hovering hands to settle down on her waist as his lips slid against hers.

“Don’t you dare apologise,” Lauren murmured as she pulled back from the kiss. “God, Nick… don’t ever apologise for that.” she pressed her forehead against his, her eyes sliding shut. Nick did the same, closing his eyes and just revelling in the moment as the rain lashed against the metal roof of Lauren’s shack, _One More Tomorrow_ playing from the radio at her bedside. In a distant part of his mind, he remembered DiMA’s words - of how he only had so much room up there and begged every part of his being to write this to memory and never forget it. God, he never wanted to forget Lauren - not now, not in a hundred years, not in a thousand.

“Duly noted,” Nick said softly, his good hand moving to touch her face gently. As she pulled back to look at him, he smiled at her, feeling the warmth of her skin as she leant against the palm of his hand. “You, uh… don’t know how long I’ve been wanting to do that, doll.”

“As long as I have, I assume?” she grinned cheekily at him, setting her hands lazily around his neck. “Pity we’re both bad at dealing with our emotions. How long have we just… minced around each other like that? Piper kept egging me on and on and on, but I just… didn’t believe her,” she paused and frowned slightly. “I was just scared, I think,”

“Scared?” Nick asked. “Of what?”

“Hehe, uh,” Lauren shrugged slightly. “Rejection. I cared about you so much I was scared that you… didn’t feel the same. Or you’d do that damn thing you do where you’re all, bluh bluh, I’m a broken old synth,” she imitated him - poorly - and pulled a face. “‘Cause I don’t care about that, okay? Before you go spoutin’ it again. I… I love you, Nicky.”

Nick blinked in surprise at her, his cooling system whirring loudly as he realised what she had said. She _loved_ him. Hancock had been right all along - she didn’t care that he was a broken old synth, missing some parts that mattered - she _loved_ him.

“Well?” Lauren asked, looking expectantly at him. “You just gonna sit there and look like your internal servos just locked up or what?”

“Sorry, sweetheart,” Nick said, leaning forward and kissing her. “I… I love you, too. Didn’t ever think I was capable of it… guess I thought that Institute programming couldn’t really code love,” he shrugged, letting his thin metal fingers glide up and down Lauren’s spine. “But you… you changed that. I haven’t… felt like this, out here - ever. I know I flirt with Irma in the Memory Den, but that’s just… well, nothing,” he paused. “Besides, she and Amari are… well… like this.” he paused, frowning widely. “I’m no good at this.”

“Ssshhh,” Lauren laughed softly, clambering off him. “Just c’mere.” she took his hands and pulled him towards the bed, setting him down. Nick sat as ordered and watched Lauren as she kicked off her black boots and slowly unzipped her vault suit. Nick felt himself swallow as she did, his glowing eyes darting up and down and taking in her body properly for the first time. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen her down to her unmentionables - but the first time it had been in a sexual way, not an “oh shit you’ve been shot, let me patch you up” way. “Speechless again, Nicky?”

“What can I say?” Nick asked. “There’s, uh, a beautiful woman nearly naked in front of me. I, uh… damn,” he let out a breath, running his hand over his head. “You know, that, uh… I’m… not… fully equipped, as it were. I’m… lacking, in certain departments.”

Lauren rolled her eyes at him. “I know,” she said softly, stepping forward and caressing his tattered cheeks. “I’ve seen enough synths to have figured it out by now, but that doesn’t matter to me,” she leant forward and kiss him softly, and Nick hesitantly placed his hands back on her waist. “I love you, Nick. And besides,” she grinned at him as she sat herself down on his lap. “You really think a guy needs a dick to please a girl? Puh-lease,” she took his good hand in hers and smirked at him, her eyes twinkling. “You got fingers. You got a tongue. I can teach you a few tricks.”

Nick swallowed thickly, his internal fans running overdrive as Lauren kissed him again, taking the initiative and pushing him down on the bed. He gingerly traced over the scars and marks adorning her body with his metal hand, before hesitating as Lauren hastily undid his tie.

“Doll,” he caught her hands in his, his mind swimming. “I’m… I’m not much to look at, I…”

“Nicky,” she replied softly, pressing her forehead against his. “D’you really think I’d be try’na pull your tie off like I am if that phased me?” she quirked a brow and Nick averted his gaze. “Hey, I love you - _all_ of you. Besides,” she sat back, setting her hips on top of his and reaching around her back, unclipping her bra. “It’s no fun if I’m the only one naked.”

Nick swallowed again, wondering how this would feel if he was anatomically correct. The human memories were triggering the response - the need to grab her and drive himself into her over and over until she came undone around him was pushing through, but he had nothing to drive in. The Institute hadn’t exactly put “give the prototype synth a set of working genitals” high on their list when they had made him.

“Okay,” he let out a simulated breath, sitting up himself as Lauren dropped the bra to the floor. Her breasts were perky and round - just enough to fill his hand. Nick swallowed as he looked at them, glancing up at her when she giggled. “What?” he asked.

“Here,” she took his hands in hers and slowly guided them towards her breasts. Nick hesitated, wanting to pull back and away, but he let her move his hands and gasped when they made contact. They were soft, and her nipples were pebbled against his palms. Lauren leant into his touch, biting her lower lip before she started to undo each button on his shirt. When she had finished, Nick reluctantly moved his hands away from her to remove it, suddenly feeling very awkward and lost. He wasn’t pretty, he knew that much - his chest and abdomen plates had scorch marks and bullet holes, and his right hand was missing plastic flesh up to the middle of his forearm - but Lauren was looking at him with adoration, and that made him feel just a little bit better.

“Nick…” Lauren shuffled closer, pulling him tightly against her. Nick wrapped his arms around her, pressing his face into the crook of her neck. She was so soft against his hard and unforgiving skin, but she didn’t flinch or pull away. He could feel her heart thudding in her chest in tandem with his coolant system working overtime. Nick could hardly get his thoughts straight - so much for being a programmed synth with quicker reaction times than a human. He felt out of his depth, but it was more exciting than it was terrifying - and it was very terrifying.

“Doll,” Nick breathed, holding her tightly and groaning. The human memories - the memories that weren’t his and wouldn’t _ever_ be his - were telling him that certain things should be happening. He should be straining against his trousers, his skin should be tingling where Lauren touched him, he should be pressing her down and sinking into her, making her keen and wail until she came undone. None of that was happening, and yet… “Ugh, God, my head’s… spinning, doll, I-”

“Nick?” Lauren pulled away from him and gazed at him with those big, concerned brown eyes, and her roaming hands settled on his tattered cheeks. “Are you okay? We can stop, if-”

“No!” Nick barked, surprised at the force behind his voice. “No, I…” he swallowed and looked away. “I want this, it’s just… my memories - the old Nick’s memories - I…” Nick closed his eyes. All he could see was Jenny, naked beneath him as he pounded into her. As Nick-the-human pounded into her. He couldn't do that to Lauren - he wanted to, with all his plastic heart, but he was incapable of it.

Lauren pulled away, stepping off of the bed and turning away from him. Nick sat up, watching her ashamedly. He wanted her, wanted _this_ , but he couldn’t set his mind straight, and it was hurting them both. Nick grabbed his discarded shirt and tie, slipping them both on.

“I… I should go, I’m sorry,” Nick said. “This is my fault, I shouldn’t have gotten your hopes up, I--”

“Just go,” Lauren said quietly, voice cold. She didn’t look at him as he stood and grabbed his jacket. When he made it to the door, she sat down on the bed, staring at her fists. Nick opened his mouth to speak, but couldn’t find any words. There were no words that he could say to apologise for this.

He walked down the steps and into the rain, shrugging his jacket on and lighting a cigarette as the rain lashed down around him. He began to walk down the skinny street before turning back - he had left his hat. 

Nick retraced his steps, and his hand was on the door when he saw a blue flash of light. No thunder followed it, and Nick couldn’t hesitate any longer. He threw open the door, and Lauren was gone.


End file.
